Babies are such lovable creatures. You look at your newborn and your heart is sizzling, captivated, overwhelmed with love. Yet the infant is hardly more than a crying carcass of sensitive cells, utterly dependent on you, demanding your service 24/7 and unable to give anything in return.
He’s completely ignorant. He hasn’t achieved anything, he does not even have a goal, let alone a five-year plan. He has never done anything nice for anyone and he’s weak, not even capable of taking care of himself. He is not even beautiful yet, wrinkled and bold and sometimes his head distorted. His skin complexion strange, he may have jaundice. He has not developed any skills and you don’t even know if he is talented at all or potent for becoming anything more than a pooch.
Yet your love for him is infinite, strong enough to make you devote the next 18 years of your life to the role of nurturing him, educating him, bearing with him when he makes your life far more difficult because he will and you know it. But that is not relevant because all you feel is love, so pure and determined that you are willing to set aside many of your needs and desires, procrastinate many of your plans, sacrifice a big part of your social life, even give up smoking, just because you love him. He doesn’t deserve love because he has proved his worth, it’s simply his birthright and it does not even occur to you if he deserves it or not.
And then you look in the mirror and see yourself, an average adult with many good qualities and you think;
- I’m not smart enough
- I have not used my time well enough
- I have not achieved enough
- I’m not strong enough
- I’m too dependent on others
- I’m too selfish
- I’m not beautiful enough
- I’m too young
- I’m too old
- I’m not talented enough
- I’m not virtuous enough
- I’m not good enough
And your conclusion; I’m not lovable.