Eldh\u00fasi\u00f0 fullt af undarlegasta f\u00f3lki. Kertager\u00f0arma\u00f0urinn b\u00fainn a\u00f0 br\u00e6\u00f0a upp kertastubba m\u00e1na\u00f0arins \u00e1 gashellu, fer \u00fat me\u00f0 vaxi\u00f0 og V\u00ednveitan stendur yfir honum og dregur st\u00f3rlega \u00ed efa a\u00f0 nokku\u00f0 umfram bras og subbuskap komi \u00fat \u00far tilraunum hans til fram\u00fer\u00f3unar \u00e1 svi\u00f0i kertager\u00f0ar.<\/p>\n
\u00c6ttfr\u00e6\u00f0ingurinn rekur nefi\u00f0 fram \u00ed eldh\u00fas.
\n-S\u00e6l fr\u00e6nka, segir hann a\u00f0 vanda. \u00c6tli \u00e9g eigi a\u00f0 vera stolt af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 vera skyld honum e\u00f0a hefur hann raunverulegan \u00e1huga \u00e1 \u00e6ttfr\u00e6\u00f0i? \u00c9g kann vel vi\u00f0 hann en veit ekki hvers vegna \u00fea\u00f0 fer svona \u00ed taugarnar \u00e1 m\u00e9r \u00feegar f\u00f3lk sem \u00e9g tel vera m\u00e9r \u00f3vi\u00f0komandi grefur upp \u00e6ttartengsl. Hann finnur \u00fea\u00f0 og n\u00fdtur \u00feess a\u00f0 ergja mig me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 kalla mig fr\u00e6nku.<\/p>\n
Arabiski kokkurinn Abdullah Ahkbar \u00ed stu\u00f0i og h\u00f3tar hverri einustu konu sem ver\u00f0ur \u00e1 vegi hans flengingu me\u00f0 a\u00f0skiljanlegustu \u00e1h\u00f6ldum ef \u00fe\u00e6r ekki l\u00e1ti a\u00f0 stj\u00f3rn og uppsker tilsv\u00f6r sem ekki v\u00e6ri s\u00e6mandi a\u00f0 birta \u00e1 opinni vefs\u00ed\u00f0u.<\/p>\n
-D\u00falla, er nokkurt \u00e1hald \u00ed \u00feessu eldh\u00fasi sem \u00fe\u00fa hefur ekki nota\u00f0 til \u00feess a\u00f0 flengja einhvern me\u00f0? segi \u00e9g. Skemmtikrafturinn kemur inn. -\u00c9g hitti Borgfir\u00f0ing \u00ed dag en \u00e9g man ekki hva\u00f0 hann heitir, segir hann og \u00e9g held \u00e1fram a\u00f0 leggja mig fram um a\u00f0 vera almennileg \u00fev\u00ed \u00feegar allt kemur til alls er ma\u00f0urinn bara a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 hefja samr\u00e6\u00f0ur: \u00c9g hj\u00e1lpa honum \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 finna nafn \u00feessa manns sem er svo lukkulegur a\u00f0 rekja \u00e6ttir s\u00ednar til Borgarfjar\u00f0ar \u00fea\u00f0an sem m\u00e9r skilst a\u00f0 hamingjan sj\u00e1lf s\u00e9 upprunnin. E\u00f0a eins og pabbi or\u00f0a\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0 einhvernt\u00edma; hva\u00f0an \u00e6tti h\u00fan annarssta\u00f0ar a\u00f0 koma?<\/p>\n Svo hefst t\u00f6rnin. Matur<\/em> hr\u00f3par arabiski kokkurinn Abdullah Ahkbar og \u00fej\u00f3nninn ge\u00f0\u00feekki hendist me\u00f0 diska fram \u00ed sal. \u00dej\u00f3nustumeyjar hr\u00faga diskum \u00e1 bor\u00f0i\u00f0 hj\u00e1 m\u00e9r og ein \u00feeirra bi\u00f0ur mig fyrirgefningar \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed hversu margir s\u00e9u \u00ed mat \u00ed kv\u00f6ld. \u00c1tta mig ekki alveg \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed hvort \u00e9g er svona truntuleg \u00ed fasi e\u00f0a hvort h\u00fan er kannski v\u00f6n a\u00f0 bi\u00f0ja f\u00f3lk fyrirgefningar \u00e1 ve\u00f0urfarinu, skattakerfinu og \u00e1standinu fyrir botni Mi\u00f0jar\u00f0arhafs. Brosi til \u00f6ryggis, g\u00e6ti veri\u00f0 komin \u00ed truntug\u00edrinn \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 taka eftir \u00fev\u00ed sj\u00e1lf.<\/p>\n Frammi \u00ed salnum syngja v\u00edkingarnir „\u00cd Sk\u00f3lav\u00f6r\u00f0uholti\u00f0 h\u00e1tt“ og diskarnir streyma inn \u00ed tugatali. \u00de\u00fa ert h\u00f6rku uppvaskari Eva<\/em>, segir s\u00e1 ge\u00f0\u00feekki og truntan vaknar fyrir alv\u00f6ru. \u00d3 \u00feakka \u00fe\u00e9r, vi\u00f0 skulum vera vinir. Ef \u00e9g fer \u00e1 undan \u00fe\u00e9r yfir \u00ed s\u00e6lustraffi\u00f0 skaltu skrifa um mig eftirm\u00e6li: H\u00fan var h\u00f6rkuuppvaskari og me\u00f0 g\u00f3lf\u00fevegil var h\u00fan flestum konum f\u00e6rari. E\u00f0a; Eva var uppvaskari af Gu\u00f0s n\u00e1\u00f0 og engan hef \u00e9g s\u00e9\u00f0 beita kl\u00f3settbursta af hv\u00edl\u00edkri r\u00f6ggsemi.<\/em> Hva\u00f0a trunta er eiginlega \u00ed \u00fe\u00e9r, ma\u00f0urinn er bara a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 vera almennilegur, segir Evan \u00ed m\u00e9r og \u00e9g brosi stir\u00f0lega og hnussa einhverjar h\u00e1lfgildings \u00feakkir fyrir h\u00f3li\u00f0. B\u00e6ti \u00fev\u00ed vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00e9g hafi ekki \u00e1\u00f0ur kynnst \u00fej\u00f3ni sem af\u00feakki bo\u00f0 mitt um a\u00f0 hreinsa fyrir hann af diskunum og \u00fea\u00f0 er satt, hann ER einkar ge\u00f0\u00feekkur.<\/p>\n \u00c6\u00f0i me\u00f0 \u00feveglinn inn \u00ed sal eftir uppvaski\u00f0, Hlusta \u00e1 U2, „And I Still Haven’t Found what I’m Looking For“ og \u00fej\u00f3nninn ge\u00f0\u00feekki spyr hvort \u00e9g hafi alltaf veri\u00f0 svona dugleg. \u00c6tlastu til a\u00f0 \u00e9g svari \u00feessu? Vi\u00f0 hverju b\u00fdstu; nei \u00e9g hef n\u00fa ekki alltaf veri\u00f0 svona dugleg, \u00fea\u00f0 var h\u00e9rna \u00e1ri\u00f0 1993 a\u00f0 skyndilegur dugna\u00f0ur greip mig, \u00e9g f\u00e9kk huglj\u00f3mun og \u00e1tta\u00f0i mig \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 l\u00edfshamingja m\u00edn v\u00e6ri undir \u00fev\u00ed komin hversu marga fermetra m\u00e9r t\u00e6kist a\u00f0 sk\u00fara \u00e1 n\u00e6stu 50 \u00e1rum.<\/em> Upph\u00e1tt segi \u00e9g hinsvegar: En \u00fej\u00f3nninn ge\u00f0\u00feekki er aldeilis ekki af baki dottinn, vir\u00f0ist sta\u00f0r\u00e1\u00f0inn \u00ed \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 halda uppi samr\u00e6\u00f0um og spyr mig n\u00e6st hva\u00f0 \u00e9g hafi fengist vi\u00f0 \u00ed gegnum t\u00ed\u00f0ina. \u00deetta hefur\u00f0u l\u00edklega l\u00e6rt af Dale Carnegie e\u00f0a Brian Tracy, hugsa \u00e9g. Og heldur a\u00f0 \u00e9g s\u00e9 svo grunn a\u00f0 falla fyrir \u00feessu. M\u00e9r \u00e1 sems\u00e9 a\u00f0 l\u00edka vel vi\u00f0 \u00feig af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa s\u00fdnir atvinnus\u00f6gu minni, sem \u00e9g \u00e6tti samkv\u00e6mt kenningunni a\u00f0 telja s\u00e9rlega athyglisver\u00f0a, tilhl\u00fd\u00f0ilegan \u00e1huga.<\/em> En \u00feegar allt kemur til alls er manngarmurinn bara a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 vera almennilegur svo \u00e9g leik me\u00f0. Belgi mig \u00fat og \u00feyl upp hin \u00fdmsu st\u00f6rf sem \u00e9g hef unni\u00f0 og reyni a\u00f0 hlj\u00f3ma eins og \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 m\u00e9r mikils vir\u00f0i a\u00f0 f\u00e1 t\u00e6kif\u00e6ri til a\u00f0 segja fr\u00e1 afrekum m\u00ednum \u00ed atvinnul\u00edfinu. Veit a\u00f0 hann fer s\u00e6ll heim eftir g\u00f3\u00f0verk dagsins, sannf\u00e6r\u00f0ur um a\u00f0 h\u00e6fni hans \u00e1 svi\u00f0i mannlegra samskipta s\u00e9 me\u00f0 f\u00e1d\u00e6mum.<\/p>\n -… og svo hef \u00e9g veri\u00f0 kokkur og kennari, sp\u00e1kona, \u00e1nama\u00f0kar\u00e6ktandi, pr\u00f3farkalesari, r\u00e6stit\u00e6knir, fr\u00e9ttama\u00f0ur og fangav\u00f6r\u00f0ur, segi \u00e9g. Velti \u00fev\u00ed fyrir m\u00e9r hvort \u00e9g eigi a\u00f0 b\u00e6ta vi\u00f0 strippari og k\u00f3ka\u00ednsali, bara til a\u00f0 t\u00e9kka \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed hvort hann s\u00e9 raunverulega a\u00f0 hlusta \u00e1 mig en sleppi \u00fev\u00ed, hann v\u00e6ri v\u00eds me\u00f0 a\u00f0 gangast svo upp \u00ed hlutverki samskiptasnillingsins a\u00f0 leggja almennilega vi\u00f0 eyru. En hann kemur m\u00e9r \u00e1 \u00f3vart. \u00cd sta\u00f0 \u00feess a\u00f0 koma strax me\u00f0 n\u00e6stu klassisku spurningu sem kennd er me\u00f0 \u00feessari t\u00e6kni; og hvernig vildi \u00fea\u00f0 svo til a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa \u00e1kva\u00f0st a\u00f0 gerast uppvaskari?<\/em> l\u00edtur hann \u00e1 mig me\u00f0 svip sem l\u00fdsir innilegri hluttekningu; \u00daff, hlj\u00f3ma\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e1 svona? Eins og \u00e9g v\u00e6ri hreint ekki \u00e1n\u00e6g\u00f0 me\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 hversu g\u00edfurlega \u00e1hugaver\u00f0 atvinnusaga m\u00edn er, heldur eins og \u00e9g hafi aldrei haft \u00e1n\u00e6gju af neinu? \u00dea\u00f0 er sl\u00e6mt \u00fev\u00ed \u00feannig er \u00fea\u00f0 ekki. M\u00e9r finnst n\u00e6stum allt sem \u00e9g hef gert skemmtilegt og \u00fe\u00f3tt r\u00e6stingar s\u00e9u ekki beinl\u00ednis skemmtilegar hef \u00e9g aldrei velt \u00fev\u00ed s\u00e9rstaklega fyrir m\u00e9r, bara gert \u00fea\u00f0 og veri\u00f0 mun s\u00e1rari \u00fat af sk\u00edtalaununum sem eru greidd fyrir \u00fea\u00f0 en tilgagnsleysi starfsins. M\u00e9r fannst gaman a\u00f0 kenna, kokka og taka \u00fatvarpsvi\u00f0t\u00f6l \u00e1 me\u00f0an \u00fea\u00f0 var\u00f0i, f\u00e9kk n\u00f3g af \u00fev\u00ed en leiddist ekki \u00e1 me\u00f0an. \u00dea\u00f0 er \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 mig bara langar svo miklu, miklu, miklu meira a\u00f0 skrifa.<\/p>\n En \u00fej\u00f3nninn ge\u00f0\u00feekki er allavega \u00ed n\u00e1\u00f0inni hj\u00e1 m\u00e9r. M\u00e1 vel vera a\u00f0 hann hafi nota\u00f0 mig til a\u00f0 \u00e6fa klisjukennda samskiptat\u00e6kni en \u00fea\u00f0 \u00fearf a\u00f0 \u00e6fa Carnegie eins og allt anna\u00f0. Svo er vingjarnlegt f\u00f3lk ekki endilega varhugavert og honum t\u00f3kst a\u00f0 sl\u00e1 mig \u00fat af laginu, sennilega alveg \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 \u00e6tla s\u00e9r \u00fea\u00f0. Prik fyrir \u00fea\u00f0.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Eldh\u00fasi\u00f0 fullt af undarlegasta f\u00f3lki. Kertager\u00f0arma\u00f0urinn b\u00fainn a\u00f0 br\u00e6\u00f0a upp kertastubba m\u00e1na\u00f0arins \u00e1 gashellu, fer \u00fat me\u00f0 vaxi\u00f0 og V\u00ednveitan stendur yfir honum og dregur st\u00f3rlega \u00ed efa a\u00f0 nokku\u00f0 umfram bras og subbuskap komi \u00fat \u00far tilraunum hans til … Halda \u00e1fram a\u00f0 lesa
\n-J\u00e1 eitt \u00e1hald en \u00e9g \u00e6tla ekki a\u00f0 segja \u00fe\u00e9r hva\u00f0a, svarar hann og sl\u00e6r sleifinni \u00ed rassinn \u00e1 m\u00e9r um lei\u00f0 og hann gengur fram hj\u00e1. \u00c9g skr\u00e6ki og tek vi\u00f0brag\u00f0, sn\u00fdst \u00e1 h\u00e6li, beint \u00ed flasi\u00f0 \u00e1 honum og tek \u00fe\u00e1 fyrst eftir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hann heldur \u00e1 flugbeittum hn\u00edf. Hef\u00f0i geta\u00f0 fari\u00f0 illa.
\n-L\u00e6tin \u00ed \u00fe\u00e9r, ertu a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 drepa mig? segir hann.
\n-\u00de\u00fa gast reikna\u00f0 me\u00f0 vi\u00f0br\u00f6g\u00f0um, \u00e9g er ekki v\u00f6n \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 vera rassskellt \u00ed eldh\u00fasinu svara \u00e9g. Bruggarinn stendur glottandi og horfir \u00e1 okkur, hefur svo upp flauelsr\u00f6dd s\u00edna,
\n-En hefur\u00f0u \u00fe\u00e1 nokkurnt\u00edma lent \u00ed \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 vera stungin \u00ed eldh\u00fasinu? Setur lostafullan t\u00f3n \u00ed „stungin“ og horfir kankv\u00edslega \u00e1 mig.
\n-Nei, ekki \u00ed \u00feessu eldh\u00fasi a.m.k. segi \u00e9g, allavega ekki enn\u00fe\u00e1<\/em>, b\u00e6ti \u00e9g vi\u00f0 \u00edsmeygilega og Bruggarinn k\u00edmir.<\/p>\n
\n-S\u00e6l Borgfirska sn\u00f3t, segir hann og \u00e9g veit ekki hvort \u00fea\u00f0 \u00e1 a\u00f0 vera fyndi\u00f0 e\u00f0a hvort hann er bara hall\u00e6rislegur a\u00f0 e\u00f0lisfari.
\n-Borgfirsk er \u00e9g n\u00fa reyndar ekki \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g eigi \u00e6ttir a\u00f0 rekja austur, segi \u00e9g af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 ma\u00f0ur \u00e1 a\u00f0 vera almennilegur, jafnvel vi\u00f0 f\u00f3lk sem spyr d\u00f3nalegra spurninga \u00e1 bor\u00f0 vi\u00f0; „hversu h\u00e1a grei\u00f0slubyr\u00f0i hefur \u00fe\u00fa?“ „Hva\u00f0an ertu svo \u00e6ttu\u00f0?“ e\u00f0a „finnst \u00fe\u00e9r gott a\u00f0 hafa enda\u00fearmsm\u00f6k?“ Skemmtikrafturinn sest hj\u00e1 m\u00e9r me\u00f0 kv\u00f6ldmatinn sinn.<\/p>\n
\n-j\u00e1 \u00e9g hef alltaf veri\u00f0 svona dugleg, og tel mig vera a\u00f0 \u00feagga ni\u00f0ur \u00ed honum.<\/p>\n
\n-\u00c9g vona a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa eigir eftir a\u00f0 finna starf sem \u00fe\u00e9r l\u00edkar.<\/p>\n