\u00c9g haf\u00f0i eiginlega hugsa\u00f0 m\u00e9r a\u00f0 fara \u00ed lj\u00f3s og verja svo seinni partinum fyrir framan spegilinn, lakka t\u00e1neglur m\u00ednar me\u00f0 perlum\u00f3\u00f0urlakki og \u00feekja yndisfagran l\u00edkama minn me\u00f0 appels\u00ednuh\u00fa\u00f0arey\u00f0i, vaxstrimlum, h\u00e1rn\u00e6ringu og maska, alveg \u00fear til spegillinn seg\u00f0i h\u00e1tt og sk\u00fdrt;<\/p>\n
fegur\u00f0 \u00feinni fagna ber
\nog falla n\u00fa br\u00e1tt a\u00f0 f\u00f3tum \u00fe\u00e9r,
\nfimm\u00fe\u00fasund l\u00fa\u00f0ar, lei\u00f0ir \u00e1 a\u00f0 fr\u00f3a s\u00e9r,<\/p><\/blockquote>\ne\u00f0a eitthva\u00f0 \u00e1l\u00edka sk\u00e1ldlegt. En – \u00e9g var sems\u00e9 hreinlega a\u00f0 blogga \u00e1 mig og allt \u00ed einu var klukkan or\u00f0in 7 og Sp\u00fankhildur \u00e1 lei\u00f0inni.<\/p>\n
Fegrunara\u00f0ger\u00f0ir f\u00f3ru \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 verulegu leyti \u00fat um \u00fe\u00fafur. \u00c9g hentist \u00ed sturtu, sleppti dj\u00fapn\u00e6ringunni og maska- og kremasafninu og sk\u00f3f menjarnar um forf\u00f6\u00f0ur minn snj\u00f3manninn hr\u00e6\u00f0ilega af n\u00e6puhv\u00edtum f\u00f3tleggjunum me\u00f0 bitlausri einnotask\u00f6fu sem \u00feegar hefur veri\u00f0 5 sinnum (hugsanlega oftar \u00fev\u00ed anna\u00f0hvort er sonur minn Fatfr\u00ed\u00f0ur r\u00e9ttnefndur ta\u00f0skegglingur, ellegar hann rakar sig \u00ed laumi.) A\u00f0 \u00feessum a\u00f0ger\u00f0um loknum leit \u00e9g enn\u00fe\u00e1 \u00fat eins og \u00f3sk\u00f6p hversdagleg Eva. \u00c9g vissi a\u00f0 m\u00e9r yr\u00f0i kalt en sag\u00f0i samt fokkitt og f\u00f3r \u00ed t\u00e1ldr\u00e1ttarkj\u00f3linn.<\/p>\n
Petra von Kant valta\u00f0i yfir d\u00f3ttur s\u00edna, m\u00f3\u00f0ur, vinkonu, \u00e1stmey og amb\u00e1tt af mikilli r\u00f6ggsemi og m\u00e1 segja a\u00f0 \u00fear hafi Barbara Cartland hitt Ibsen. Skrattanum var skemmt. \u00c9g gaut glyrnum \u00e1 fyrrum unnusta minn, \u00feann er \u00e1 dramat\u00edsku augnabliki reyndist ekki eiga t\u00edkall og velti \u00fev\u00ed fyrir m\u00e9r hvort s\u00e1pan \u00e1 svi\u00f0inu g\u00e6ti nokkurnt\u00edma freytt jafn hressilega og s\u00e1pu\u00f3pera hversdagsleikans.<\/p>\n
Fyrr \u00e1 \u00feessu \u00e1ri horf\u00f0i \u00e9g \u00e1 hann \u00e1 svi\u00f0i, \u00fear sem hann l\u00e9k \u00e1 m\u00f3ti tr\u00fana\u00f0arvini m\u00ednum og fyrrum b\u00f3lf\u00e9laga, sem aftur er fyrrum unnusti systur \u00e6sku\u00e1stmeyjar hans (\u00fe.e.a.s. mannsins sem \u00e1tti ekki t\u00edkall.) N\u00fa situr hann h\u00e9r og horfir \u00e1 samb\u00fdliskonu s\u00edna og \u00e6skuunnustu kyssast \u00e1 svi\u00f0i. Og \u00fea\u00f0 er svosem alltsaman vo\u00f0a miki\u00f0 \u00ed \u00feykjustunni en \u00f6nnur fyrrum samb\u00fdliskona hans og barnsm\u00f3\u00f0ir er hinsvegar alv\u00f6rulesb\u00eda og \u00fea\u00f0 vill svo skemmtilega til a\u00f0 systir \u00feeirrar er einmitt fyrrum samb\u00fdliskona m\u00edn og t\u00f3kst henni ekki a\u00f0 reka af s\u00e9r lessuor\u00f0spori\u00f0 fyrr en h\u00fan f\u00e9kk vinnu \u00ed KB banka og h\u00f3f samb\u00fa\u00f0 me\u00f0 karlmanni, \u00d6ryrkjanum, sem aldrei hefur veri\u00f0 or\u00f0a\u00f0ur vi\u00f0 lessugang n\u00e9 annan \u00f6fuguggah\u00e1tt.<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 var sk\u00edtkalt \u00ed part\u00fdinu s\u00f6kum \u00feess a\u00f0 reykingamenn vaxa ekki upp \u00far opendoor syndrominu eins og anna\u00f0 f\u00f3lk. \u00c9g huldi \u00fev\u00ed t\u00e1ldr\u00e1ttarkj\u00f3linn undir k\u00e1punni enda enginn leiksveina verulega t\u00e1ldraganlegur, og heldur ekki s\u00e9rlega t\u00e1ldr\u00e1ttarlegur a\u00f0 sj\u00e1.<\/p>\n
Ma\u00f0urinn sem \u00e1tti ekki t\u00edkall heilsa\u00f0i m\u00e9r.
\n-Hva\u00f0 segir \u00fe\u00fa gott? sag\u00f0i hann og enda \u00fe\u00f3tt spurningin v\u00e6ri auglj\u00f3slega sett fram sem venjulegur kurteisisvottur en ekki til eiginlegrar heimilda\u00f6flunar um pers\u00f3nulega hagi m\u00edna, fann \u00e9g hj\u00e1 m\u00e9r einhverja undarlega hv\u00f6t til a\u00f0 gefa honum hei\u00f0arlegt svar. \u00c9g hugsa\u00f0i mig andartak um. Er eitthva\u00f0 s\u00e9rstaklega j\u00e1kv\u00e6tt af m\u00e9r a\u00f0 fr\u00e9tta, nei \u00ed rauninni ekki. Neikv\u00e6tt \u00fe\u00e1? Nei ekki heldur. Er \u00e9g hamingjus\u00f6m? Nei langt fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed en \u00e9g \u00e1 heldur ekkert b\u00e1gt.
\n-Bara allt svona \u00feokkalegt, sag\u00f0i \u00e9g, \u00fea\u00f0 gerist varla miki\u00f0 sk\u00e1rra.
\n-N\u00fa. Fer l\u00edfi\u00f0 eitthva\u00f0 illa me\u00f0 \u00feig? sag\u00f0i hann og \u00e9g missti andliti\u00f0. Drottinn minn d\u00fdri, kannski \u00fea\u00f0 hafi veri\u00f0 \u00e1hrifin af hinum beisku t\u00e1rum \u00e1 leiksvi\u00f0inu sem m\u00f6gnu\u00f0u upp \u00ed m\u00e9r fre\u00f0\u00fdsuheilkenni\u00f0? E\u00f0a fr\u00e9tti hann af n\u00fdjasta d\u00f6mpinu og vildi s\u00fdna hluttekningu???<\/p>\nAs good as it gets, var \u00fea\u00f0 sem \u00e9g vildi sagt hafa en \u00fea\u00f0 sem hann heyr\u00f0i hefur v\u00e6ntanlega veri\u00f0 argasta harmakl\u00e1m. M\u00e9r \u00feykir \u00fea\u00f0 leitt \u00fev\u00ed l\u00edfi\u00f0 fer vel me\u00f0 mig og ma\u00f0ur \u00e1 fjandinn hafi \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 l\u00e1ta helv\u00edtis t\u00edkina nj\u00f3ta sannm\u00e6lis. \u00c9g er \u00fe\u00f3, hva\u00f0 sem allri s\u00e1pu\u00f3peru l\u00ed\u00f0ur, b\u00e6\u00f0i heilbrig\u00f0ari og fallegri en l\u00edfsst\u00edll minn gefur tilefni til, sk\u00edtbl\u00f6nk en \u00fe\u00f3 skuldlaus vi\u00f0 a\u00f0ra en L\u00cdN (og svo n\u00e1tt\u00farulega \u00feessi yfirdr\u00e1ttarheimild en \u00e9g \u00e1 \u00fatistandandi fyrir henni) drengirnir m\u00ednir eru \u00f6\u00f0rum unglingum d\u00e1samlegri og \u00ed raun hef \u00e9g ekki yfir neinu a\u00f0 kvarta nema \u00fe\u00e1 karlmannsleysi og ma\u00f0ur getur ekki reikna\u00f0 me\u00f0 a\u00f0 f\u00e1 allt.
\n-Nei, alls ekki sag\u00f0i \u00e9g, l\u00edfi\u00f0 er gott vi\u00f0 mig.<\/p>\nM\u00e9r datt \u00ed hug a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 g\u00e6ti veri\u00f0 kvikindislega l\u00edkt m\u00e9r a\u00f0 b\u00e6ta vi\u00f0; \u00fea\u00f0 eru mennirnir sem \u00e9g er g\u00f3\u00f0 vi\u00f0 sem fara illa me\u00f0 mig, en m\u00e9r l\u00edkar hreint ekki vel vi\u00f0 allt sem er l\u00edkt m\u00e9r og auk \u00feess fann \u00e9g enga l\u00f6ngun til a\u00f0 kvelja hann. S\u00fa l\u00f6ngun hvarf fyrir l\u00f6ngu, fyrir m\u00f6rgum \u00e1rum um lei\u00f0 og fir\u00f0rildi\u00f0 \u00ed hjartanu m\u00ednu flaug burt.<\/p>\n
\u00c9g skil sj\u00e1lfa mig alveg, \u00e9g veit hva\u00f0 \u00e9g s\u00e1 vi\u00f0 hann og hversvegna \u00fea\u00f0 helt\u00f3k mig svona. En allt \u00ed einu \u00e1tta \u00e9g mig \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 var ekki n\u00e1vist hans sem \u00e9g \u00fer\u00e1\u00f0i. Skyndilega rennur \u00fea\u00f0 upp fyrir m\u00e9r hva\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 \u00ed raun var sem \u00feessi ge\u00f0s\u00fdki \u00ed m\u00e9r snerist um. Hef\u00f0i \u00e9g kosi\u00f0 n\u00e1vist hans? Nei, ekki til lengdar. Kannski \u00ed nokkra m\u00e1nu\u00f0i, hugsanlega \u00e1r en aldrei til lengdar. Verkja\u00f0i mig \u00fe\u00e1 svona hr\u00e6\u00f0ilega \u00ed d\u00f6mps\u00e1ri\u00f0 \u00ed \u00f6ll \u00feessi \u00e1r? Nei ekki heldur, \u00e9g hef aldrei reikna\u00f0 me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 f\u00e1 allt sem \u00e9g vil. Hversvegna t\u00f3kst m\u00e9r \u00fe\u00e1 ekki a\u00f0 sleppa takinu \u00e1 \u00feessari s\u00e1raukafullu \u00fer\u00e1hyggju sem h\u00e9lt m\u00e9r \u00ed heljargreipum \u00ed meira en 5 \u00e1r? \u00c9g hef ekki t\u00f6lu \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed hve margar tilraunir \u00e9g ger\u00f0i til a\u00f0 kve\u00f0ja hann. \u00c9g orti mig fr\u00e1 honum aftur og aftur, fyrirgaf honum \u00ed huganum og \u00e1 bla\u00f0i, aftur og aftur. F\u00f3r me\u00f0 \u00edmyndu\u00f0 bl\u00f3m a\u00f0 \u00edmyndu\u00f0u lei\u00f0i. For\u00f0a\u00f0ist hann. Neyddi sj\u00e1lfa mig til a\u00f0 hitta hann. Var\u00f0 drulluskotin \u00ed \u00f6\u00f0rum en \u00feurfti ekki anna\u00f0 en a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 honum breg\u00f0a fyrir til \u00feess a\u00f0 plokka hr\u00fa\u00f0ri\u00f0 af s\u00e1rinu. N\u00fana skyndilega eftir \u00f6ll \u00feessi \u00e1r er \u00e9g a\u00f0 \u00e1tta mig \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed hva\u00f0 gekk a\u00f0 m\u00e9r.<\/p>\n
Man eftir augnablikinu \u00feegar fi\u00f0rildi\u00f0 losna\u00f0i \u00far p\u00fapunni og flaug.<\/p>\n
-Nei. \u00c9g vil ekki a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa gistir, sag\u00f0i hann, \u00fev\u00ed \u00e9g er ekki \u00e1stfanginn af \u00fe\u00e9r og \u00e9g f\u00f3r illa me\u00f0 \u00feig og \u00e6tla ekki a\u00f0 gera \u00fea\u00f0 aftur.<\/p>\n
\u00de\u00e1 n\u00f3tt svaf \u00e9g r\u00f3tt og fannst \u00fea\u00f0 \u00feversagnarkennt en sk\u00fdr\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0 \u00feannig fyrir sj\u00e1lfri m\u00e9r a\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00feetta v\u00e6ri l\u00edklega eins og \u00feegar l\u00edk finnst eftir langa leit, \u00feegar syrgjandinn loksins sleppir takinu \u00e1 von sem hann vissi a\u00f0 var tilgangslaus en r\u00edgh\u00e9lt samt \u00ed, allt \u00fear til sta\u00f0festing f\u00e9kkst, \u00fea\u00f0 er endanlegt, ekkert getur breytt \u00fev\u00ed.<\/p>\n
En \u00fea\u00f0 var ekki bara \u00fea\u00f0. L\u00edklega var \u00e9g \u00fe\u00e1 \u00feegar l\u00f6ngu h\u00e6tt a\u00f0 syrgja hann. \u00c9g hef ekki hugsa\u00f0i \u00fat \u00ed \u00fea\u00f0 fyrr en \u00fev\u00ed l\u00fdstur allt \u00ed einu ni\u00f0ur \u00ed kollinn \u00e1 m\u00e9r; \u00fea\u00f0 var \u00feessi vi\u00f0urkenning; \u00e9g f\u00f3r illa me\u00f0 \u00feig<\/em>. Vi\u00f0urkenning \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 l\u00edklega hef\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0 fjandakorni\u00f0 veri\u00f0 t\u00edkallsvir\u00f0i a\u00f0 gera \u00feetta eina sem \u00e9g ba\u00f0 hann um. \u00c9g \u00e1tta\u00f0i mig skyndilega \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed fyrst \u00ed g\u00e6rkv\u00f6ld a\u00f0 l\u00edklega hefur \u00fea\u00f0 veri\u00f0 \u00feessi p\u00ednulitli vottur um i\u00f0run sem ger\u00f0i m\u00e9r f\u00e6rt a\u00f0 fyrirgefa honum, \u00feykja v\u00e6nt um hann \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 finna til n\u00edstandi s\u00e1rsauka, nj\u00f3ta \u00feess a\u00f0 hitta hann \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 hafa minnstu l\u00f6ngun til a\u00f0 sofna vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0ina \u00e1 honum, hva\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e1 a\u00f0 vakna \u00fear aftur.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00c9g haf\u00f0i eiginlega hugsa\u00f0 m\u00e9r a\u00f0 fara \u00ed lj\u00f3s og verja svo seinni partinum fyrir framan spegilinn, lakka t\u00e1neglur m\u00ednar me\u00f0 perlum\u00f3\u00f0urlakki og \u00feekja yndisfagran l\u00edkama minn me\u00f0 appels\u00ednuh\u00fa\u00f0arey\u00f0i, vaxstrimlum, h\u00e1rn\u00e6ringu og maska, alveg \u00fear til spegillinn seg\u00f0i h\u00e1tt og … Halda \u00e1fram a\u00f0 lesa