Ef einhver seg\u00f0i m\u00e9r allan sannleikann um sj\u00e1lfan sig \u00ed netspjalli \u00fe\u00e6tti m\u00e9r hann anna\u00f0hvort \u00f3venju \u00f3spennandi e\u00f0a afspyrnu heimskur. Sennilega hvorttveggja. \u00c9g reikna ekki me\u00f0 a\u00f0 f\u00e1 r\u00e9tta mynd af manni \u00ed gegnum msn. Ef \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri h\u00e6gt g\u00e6ti ma\u00f0ur allt eins stofna\u00f0 til internethj\u00f3nabands. \u00c9g \u00e6tlast ekki til a\u00f0 \u00ed l\u00edfi manns \u00e1 fertugsaldri s\u00e9 allt sl\u00e9tt og fellt, er ekki einusinni viss um a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri eftirs\u00f3knarver\u00f0ur karakter en \u00e9g \u00e6tlast hins vegar til \u00feess, \u00feegar einhver vill hitta mig, a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e6r uppl\u00fdsingar sem hann gefur m\u00e9r \u00e1\u00f0ur standist.<\/p>\n
„Einst\u00e6\u00f0i fa\u00f0irinn“ reyndist eiga barn \u00ed \u00fatl\u00f6ndum, sem hann hittir \u00e1 eins til tveggja \u00e1ra fresti. M\u00e9r h\u00e1lfgramdist \u00fear sem \u00e9g var b\u00fain a\u00f0 taka mj\u00f6g sk\u00fdrt fram a\u00f0 \u00e9g v\u00e6ri a\u00f0 leita a\u00f0 manni sem \u00e6tti b\u00f6rn sem hann v\u00e6ri \u00ed g\u00f3\u00f0u sambandi vi\u00f0. En, \u00e9g er umbur\u00f0arlynd kona og \u00fear sem \u00e9g var ekki b\u00fain a\u00f0 \u00fatsk\u00fdra \u00ed sm\u00e1atri\u00f0um hversvegna \u00fea\u00f0 er mikilv\u00e6gt, s\u00e1 \u00e9g ekki \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0u til a\u00f0 snupra hann fyrir \u00feessa hagr\u00e6\u00f0ingu \u00e1 sannleikanum. \u00c9g \u00e1kva\u00f0 a\u00f0 fyrirgefa honum a\u00f0 s\u00f3a t\u00edma m\u00ednum og \u00fea\u00f0 var ekkert mj\u00f6g erfitt. \u00dea\u00f0 er alltaf au\u00f0veldara a\u00f0 fyrirgefa \u00feeim sem eru myndarlegir, kl\u00e1rir og hafa fr\u00e1b\u00e6ran h\u00famor l\u00edka. Satt a\u00f0 segja hef\u00f0i \u00feetta geta\u00f0 veri\u00f0 miklu verra. Hann hef\u00f0i geta\u00f0 veri\u00f0 \u00ferautlei\u00f0inlegur og forlj\u00f3tur stalker. \u00deetta var bara \u00e1g\u00e6tt h\u00e1degisstefnum\u00f3t vi\u00f0 huggulegasta mann og \u00e9g hef oft s\u00f3a\u00f0 t\u00edma m\u00ednum \u00e1 verri h\u00e1tt. \u00c9g sat \u00fev\u00ed kyrr og \u00fe\u00e1\u00f0i kaffi\u00f0 og beygluna.<\/p>\n
\u00deegar f\u00f3lk fer a\u00f0 tala saman koma g\u00e6\u00f0in \u00ed lj\u00f3s. Hann er greinilega alveg laus vi\u00f0 minnim\u00e1ttarkennd og langt fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 vera hn\u00fdsinn um l\u00edf og karakter \u00feeirra kvenna sem hann hittir. Ekki skorti skemmtilegheitin og \u00fea\u00f0 f\u00f3r \u00feannig s\u00e9\u00f0 vel \u00e1 me\u00f0 okkur alveg \u00fear til hann nefndi svona eins og \u00ed framhj\u00e1hlaupi a\u00f0 \u00e9g virtist „taka \u00feetta frekar alvarlega“. Eftir \u00fea\u00f0 f\u00f3r bara vel \u00e1 me\u00f0 honum, ekki m\u00e9r. \u00c9g \u00feekki nefnilega t\u00fdpuna. Kannski hef\u00f0i veri\u00f0 vir\u00f0ulegast a\u00f0 \u00feakka vinsamlegast fyrir kaffi\u00f0 og dr\u00edfa sig \u00ed vinnuna en af kaldlyndi m\u00ednu \u00e1kva\u00f0 \u00e9g a\u00f0 nota t\u00e6kif\u00e6ri\u00f0 til a\u00f0 skemmta m\u00e9r d\u00e1l\u00edti\u00f0 fyrst \u00e9g var a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00e6last \u00feetta \u00e1 anna\u00f0 bor\u00f0.<\/p>\n
-J\u00e1, \u00e9g tek \u00feetta mj\u00f6g alvarlega eins og \u00e9g var b\u00fain a\u00f0 segja \u00fe\u00e9r, sag\u00f0i \u00e9g og blaka\u00f0i augnh\u00e1runum. Mig langar \u00ed maka og \u00fea\u00f0 m\u00e1 ekki vera neinn slord\u00f3ni svo \u00e9g \u00e6tla a\u00f0 hitta eins marga og \u00e9g m\u00f6gulega get. \u00cd versta falli er \u00feetta t\u00edmas\u00f3un en kannski finn \u00e9g fr\u00e1b\u00e6ran mann. Ef ekki, \u00fe\u00e1 finn \u00e9g kannski einhvern sem \u00e9g get sofi\u00f0 hj\u00e1.<\/p>\n
Vi\u00f0 \u00feetta svar kom blik \u00ed auga hvalrekans og hann svara\u00f0i svo sem vi\u00f0 m\u00e1tti b\u00faast a\u00f0 \u00feetta v\u00e6ri n\u00fa svona svipa\u00f0 hj\u00e1 honum. \u00c9g reisti brj\u00f3stin og fitla\u00f0i vi\u00f0 h\u00e1ri\u00f0 \u00e1 m\u00e9r. Sjarm\u00f6rinn vill sems\u00e9 konu sem er „eitthva\u00f0 mitt \u00e1 milli“ maka og b\u00f3lf\u00e9laga. Afk\u00f3\u00f0a\u00f0 \u00fatleggst \u00fea\u00f0: „Konu sem \u00e9g get komi\u00f0 til alltaf \u00feegar m\u00e9r hentar, sofi\u00f0 hj\u00e1 og gert allskonar skemmtilegt me\u00f0 en sem gerir samt engar kr\u00f6fur til m\u00edn og skilur \u00fea\u00f0 bara \u00feegar \u00e9g m\u00e1 ekki vera a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 sinna henni.“ Gamla sagan.<\/p>\n Einhvernt\u00edma fyrir l\u00f6ngu hef\u00f0i \u00e9g reynt a\u00f0 lj\u00faga \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfri m\u00e9r a\u00f0 hann v\u00e6ri \u00ed tilvistarkreppu e\u00f0a \u00ed s\u00e1rum eftir einhvera t\u00edkina og \u00feyrfti bara svol\u00edtinn t\u00edma til a\u00f0 \u00e1tta sig. Einhvernt\u00edma fyrir ekkert svo rosalega l\u00f6ngu hef\u00f0i \u00e9g brosa\u00f0 stir\u00f0lega, sagt honum hreint \u00fat a\u00f0 hann v\u00e6ri greinilega f\u00e1viti en samt fallegur f\u00e1viti og bo\u00f0i\u00f0 honum st\u00f6\u00f0u l\u00edfr\u00e6ns kynl\u00edfsleikfangs. En \u00e9g er eiginlega b\u00fain a\u00f0 f\u00e1 alveg n\u00f3g af svona bulli.<\/p>\n -\u00de\u00e9r l\u00edst kannski ekkert \u00e1 mig? spur\u00f0i \u00e9g \u00ed v\u00e9fr\u00e9ttart\u00f3n, \u00f3k m\u00e9r feimnislega og h\u00e9lt munnvikunum eins n\u00e1l\u00e6gt eyrunum og \u00e9g m\u00f6gulega gat. \u00c1 \u00feessari stundu situr hann v\u00e6ntanlega \u00e1 veitingasta\u00f0 vi\u00f0 Su\u00f0urlandsbrautina og b\u00ed\u00f0ur eftir m\u00e9r. \u00c9g er ekki m\u00e6tt. \u00c9g fann m\u00e9r anna\u00f0 \u00fearfara a\u00f0 dunda vi\u00f0 (a\u00f0 blogga sj\u00e1lfri m\u00e9r til skemmtunar) og \u00faps! haldi\u00f0i a\u00f0 \u00e9g hafi ekki gleymt s\u00edmanum m\u00ednum \u00fati \u00ed b\u00edl. \u00c6,\u00e6. \u00c9g var svona a\u00f0 hugsa um a\u00f0 skrifa honum skeyti \u00e1 einkamal.is „\u00deeir sem s\u00f3a t\u00edma m\u00ednum e\u00f0a m\u00e6ta \u00e1 deit \u00e1 f\u00f6lskum forsendum geta b\u00faist vi\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed sama af m\u00e9r“ en \u00e9g \u00e1kva\u00f0 a\u00f0 gera \u00fea\u00f0 ekki. Blokkera\u00f0i hann bara, or\u00f0laust. M\u00e9r \u00feykir eiginlega d\u00e1l\u00edtil\u00f0 v\u00e6nt um hann og \u00fea\u00f0 er svo hollt a\u00f0 \u00feurfa stundum a\u00f0 velta \u00fev\u00ed fyrir s\u00e9r hva\u00f0 f\u00f3lk er eiginlega a\u00f0 p\u00e6la. Vil ekki taka fr\u00e1 honum m\u00f6guleikann \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00feroska r\u00e9ttl\u00e6tiskennd s\u00edna. Ekki veitir af.<\/p>\n \u00c9g skrifa\u00f0i ekki um \u00feennan h\u00e1degisfund fyrr \u00fev\u00ed \u00fea\u00f0 var alveg hugsanlegt a\u00f0 hann fletti m\u00e9r upp \u00e1 google. \u00c9g reikna\u00f0i reyndar ekki me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hrifning hans risti n\u00f3gu dj\u00fapt til \u00feess. Hann t\u00f3k \u00fev\u00ed sem fulln\u00e6gjandi svari \u00feegar \u00e9g sag\u00f0ist eiga tvo unglingsstr\u00e1ka og vinna \u00ed gjafav\u00f6rub\u00fa\u00f0 og s\u00e1 g\u00edfurlegi \u00e1hugi til vi\u00f0b\u00f3tar vi\u00f0 limb\u00f3-milli-b\u00f3lf\u00e9laga-og-maka-heilkenni\u00f0 kemur algj\u00f6rlega upp um t\u00fdpuna. \u00c9g bei\u00f0 samt me\u00f0 f\u00e6rsluna og h\u00e9lt honum uppi \u00e1 snakki \u00e1 netinu \u00ed sm\u00e1stund \u00e1 hverjum degi \u00ed millit\u00ed\u00f0inni.<\/p>\n Kannski finnst einhverjum \u00fea\u00f0 l\u00edtil synd af br\u00e1\u00f0huggulegum manni a\u00f0 hitta konu sem er \u00ed yfirl\u00fdstri makaleit, bara til a\u00f0 t\u00e9kka \u00e1 m\u00f6guleikanum \u00e1 g\u00f3\u00f0um dr\u00e6tti. Sj\u00e1lf er \u00e9g b\u00fain a\u00f0 f\u00e1 mig fullsadda af \u00feessh\u00e1ttar k\u00f3num. \u00dea\u00f0 er ekkert vo\u00f0alega grimmdarlegt a\u00f0 senda f\u00e1vita \u00ed f\u00fdlufer\u00f0 en \u00fea\u00f0 heitir v\u00edst „a\u00f0 setja sig ni\u00f0ur \u00e1 sama plan“ og \u00feykir ekki vir\u00f0ulegt. \u00cd augnablikinu er \u00e9g semsagt gj\u00f6rsamlega laus vi\u00f0 vir\u00f0ingu en fokkitt, sk\u00edtt me\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0, \u00e9g skemmti m\u00e9r pr\u00fd\u00f0ilega \u00e1 \u00feessu l\u00e1ga plani.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ef einhver seg\u00f0i m\u00e9r allan sannleikann um sj\u00e1lfan sig \u00ed netspjalli \u00fe\u00e6tti m\u00e9r hann anna\u00f0hvort \u00f3venju \u00f3spennandi e\u00f0a afspyrnu heimskur. Sennilega hvorttveggja. \u00c9g reikna ekki me\u00f0 a\u00f0 f\u00e1 r\u00e9tta mynd af manni \u00ed gegnum msn. Ef \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri h\u00e6gt g\u00e6ti … Halda \u00e1fram a\u00f0 lesa
\n-\u00de\u00fa ert \u00fe\u00e1 a\u00f0 leita a\u00f0 maka en ekki bara b\u00f3lf\u00e9laga, sag\u00f0i \u00e9g og brosti undirleit.
\n-Tja, hva\u00f0 skal segja. \u00c9g hef engan \u00e1huga \u00e1 a\u00f0 sofa hj\u00e1 \u00fati um allar tryssur, laug hann. J\u00fa \u00e6tli ma\u00f0ur vilji ekki einhvernt\u00edma fara \u00ed samb\u00fa\u00f0. Allt \u00ed r\u00f3legheitunum samt en \u00e9g er ekkert a\u00f0 leita a\u00f0 konu bara<\/strong> til a\u00f0 eiga b\u00f3lf\u00e9laga. Kannski eitthva\u00f0 svona mitt \u00e1 milli.<\/p>\n
\n-J\u00fa, v\u00e1\u00e1! M\u00e9r l\u00edst sko alveg \u00e1 \u00feig,<\/em> svara\u00f0i hann og belgdi br\u00f3stkassann.
\n\u00c9g flissa\u00f0i kvenlega og sag\u00f0ist \u00feurfa a\u00f0 dr\u00edfa mig \u00ed vinnuna. Hann spur\u00f0i hvort vi\u00f0 \u00e6ttum ekki a\u00f0 hittast aftur og \u00e9g sag\u00f0ist vera til \u00ed \u00fea\u00f0. Endilega!<\/p>\n