Tveggja \u00e1ratuga ranns\u00f3knir m\u00ednar \u00e1 karlkyninu hafa leitt mig a\u00f0 \u00feeirri ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0u a\u00f0 \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0an fyrir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0\u00a0stundum skil \u00e9g ekki karlmenn, er ekki s\u00fa a\u00f0 \u00e9g s\u00e9 svona treg, heldur s\u00fa a\u00f0 karlar gera ekkert minni kr\u00f6fur til \u00feess en konur a\u00f0 a\u00f0rir lesi hugsanir \u00feeirra. Treg\u00f0a \u00feeirra til a\u00f0 or\u00f0a hlutina beint kemur bara d\u00e1l\u00edti\u00f0 \u00f6\u00f0ruv\u00edsi \u00fat og kemur fram \u00e1 \u00f6\u00f0rum svi\u00f0um.<\/p>\n
Allir vita t.d. a\u00f0 \u00feegar kona segir „\u00fea\u00f0 er d\u00e1l\u00edti\u00f0 kalt h\u00e9rna inni“, \u00fe\u00e1 heldur karlinn a\u00f0 h\u00fan s\u00e9 a\u00f0 segja fr\u00e9ttir. Ef h\u00fan vill a\u00f0 hann loki glugganum \u00fe\u00e1 ver\u00f0ur h\u00fan a\u00f0 or\u00f0a \u00fea\u00f0 hreint \u00fat „viltu loka glugganum“. Karlar eru hins vegar ekki alltaf svona hreinir og beinir sj\u00e1lfir \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00feeir skilji ekki skilabo\u00f0 nema \u00feau feli \u00ed s\u00e9r beinar skipanir. Reyndar held \u00e9g a\u00f0 fyrir konur eins og mig, v\u00e6ri ekki van\u00fe\u00f6rf \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 s\u00e9rstakur t\u00falkunarlykill fylgdi hverju eintaki.<\/p>\n
\u00dear sem enginn vill mig, nema unglingar, gamalmenni, fatla\u00f0ir og kv\u00e6ntir menn, hef \u00e9g ekki enn\u00fe\u00e1 \u00f6\u00f0last n\u00e6ga reynslu af karlm\u00f6nnum til a\u00f0 taka saman fulln\u00e6gjandi t\u00falkunarlykil. \u00de\u00f3 eru f\u00e1ein atri\u00f0i \u00ed or\u00f0r\u00e6\u00f0u karlmanna sem \u00e9g hef \u00e1 s\u00ed\u00f0ustu 20 \u00e1rum, komist a\u00f0 ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0u um hvernig beri a\u00f0 t\u00falka og vil n\u00fa deila visku minni \u00ed \u00feessum efnum me\u00f0 kynsystrum m\u00ednum.<\/p>\n
D\u00e6mi um \u00fea\u00f0 hva\u00f0 karlinn vildi sagt hafa, \u00feegar hann ver\u00f0ur hr\u00e6ddur:<\/p>\n
\u00de\u00fa sefur hj\u00e1 hj\u00e1tr\u00faarfullum og taugaveiklu\u00f0um karlmanni sem heldur \u00fev\u00ed fram fullum fetum a\u00f0 reimleikar herji \u00e1 h\u00fasi\u00f0. \u00de\u00fa ert r\u00e9tt a\u00f0 festa svefninn \u00feegar hann r\u00fdkur upp me\u00f0 andf\u00e6lum og telur sig hafa heyrt eitthvert hlj\u00f3\u00f0.<\/p>\n
-\u00de\u00fa:Ertu hr\u00e6ddur elskan? Hann:
\n-Nauthhs, \u00e9g var bara a\u00f0 p\u00e6la \u00ed hva\u00f0 \u00feettav\u00e6ri.
\n-\u00dea\u00f0 sem hann \u00e1 vi\u00f0: J\u00e1 \u00e9g er lafhr\u00e6ddur en finnst vandr\u00e6\u00f0alegt a\u00f0 vi\u00f0urkenna \u00fea\u00f0. Viltu vera svo v\u00e6n a\u00f0 \u00feykjast vera miklu hr\u00e6ddari en \u00e9g, svo \u00e9g f\u00e1i t\u00e6kif\u00e6ri til a\u00f0 telja kjark \u00ed sj\u00e1lfan mig me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0
\nhugga \u00feig.<\/p>\n
L\u00e1ttu \u00feetta bara eftir honum, ef \u00fe\u00fa \u00feolir ekki svona leikaraskap getur\u00f0u bara losa\u00f0 \u00feig vi\u00f0 hann n\u00e6sta morgun. Og \u00ed
\ngu\u00f0sb\u00e6num ekki bj\u00f3\u00f0ast til a\u00f0 fara fram og athuga hva\u00f0an hlj\u00f3\u00f0i\u00f0 kemur, \u00fe\u00fa g\u00e6tir alveg eins r\u00e1\u00f0ist \u00e1 karlmennsku hans me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 vorkenna honum fyrir a\u00f0 hafa l\u00edti\u00f0 typpi.<\/p>\n
D\u00e6mi um \u00fea\u00f0 hvernig karlmenn koma l\u00f6ngunum s\u00ednum \u00e1 framf\u00e6ri<\/p>\n
-\u00de\u00fa: \u00c9g \u00e6tla a\u00f0 fara h\u00e9rna inn og kaupa m\u00e9r s\u00fakkula\u00f0i, vilt \u00fe\u00fa ekki l\u00edka?
\n-Hann: Neeei, \u00e9g held ekki, \u00e9g er ekkert s\u00e9rstaklega miki\u00f0 fyrir s\u00e6lg\u00e6ti.
\n-\u00dea\u00f0 sem hann \u00e1 vi\u00f0: J\u00fa au\u00f0vita\u00f0 en \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g skilji engan veginn hvers vegna, \u00fe\u00e1 finnst m\u00e9r samt eins og karlmenn eigi ekki a\u00f0 vi\u00f0urkenna a\u00f0 \u00feeim \u00feyki s\u00fakkula\u00f0i gott. Vertu svo v\u00e6n a\u00f0 kaupa handa m\u00e9r l\u00edka \u00fev\u00ed annars endar \u00feetta me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00e9t helminginn af \u00fe\u00ednu.<\/p>\n
Dr\u00e6mmt neeeei \u00fe\u00fd\u00f0ir sennilega j\u00e1, \u00feegar \u00fea\u00f0 tengist f\u00e6\u00f0u e\u00f0a \u00f6\u00f0ru l\u00edkamlegu. M\u00e1li\u00f0 er a\u00f0 karlmenn eru kannski minna fyrir hlaupbirni og mola me\u00f0 d\u00eds\u00e6tri jar\u00f0arberjakemfyllingu en konur en \u00d6LLUM finnst s\u00fakkula\u00f0i gott. \u00dea\u00f0 er vegna \u00feess a\u00f0 s\u00fakkula\u00f0i er gott \u00ed e\u00f0li s\u00ednu. Ef \u00fe\u00fa b\u00fd\u00f0ur karlmanni bland \u00ed poka e\u00f0a skittles og hann p\u00fdrir augun, hryllir sig og kve\u00f0ur sterkt a\u00f0 or\u00f0i, er honum sennilega full alvara me\u00f0 nei-inu, \u00feessvegna skaltu alltaf kaupa s\u00fakkula\u00f0i l\u00edka ef \u00fe\u00fa \u00e6tlar a\u00f0 g\u00falla \u00ed \u00feig s\u00e6tindum \u00ed n\u00e1vist karlmanns.<\/p>\n
D\u00e6mi um \u00fea\u00f0 hvernig karlmenn tala \u00feegar \u00feeir eru einmana:<\/p>\n
Ma\u00f0ur sem \u00fe\u00fa hefur einu sinni e\u00f0a tvisvar sofi\u00f0 hj\u00e1 og veit a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa hefur engan \u00e1huga \u00e1 n\u00e6turl\u00edfi borgarinnar, hringir \u00ed \u00feig kl. 9 \u00e1 f\u00f6studagskv\u00f6ldi.
\n-Hann: H\u00e6 hva\u00f0 er veri\u00f0 a\u00f0 gera?
\n-\u00de\u00fa: Bara horfa \u00e1 sj\u00f3nvarpi\u00f0.
\n-Hann: \u00c1 ekkert a\u00f0 fara \u00fat \u00e1 l\u00edfi\u00f0?
\n-\u00dea\u00f0 sem hann \u00e1 vi\u00f0: \u00c9g er a\u00f0 visna upp af einsemd og vil a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa komir til m\u00edn en \u00fea\u00f0 hlj\u00f3mar bara svo \u00f6rv\u00e6ntingarfullt a\u00f0 bi\u00f0ja \u00feig um \u00fea\u00f0. Viltu segja m\u00e9r a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa nennir ekki \u00fat og stinga frekar upp \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g heims\u00e6ki \u00feig me\u00f0 \u00f6rbylgjupopp og gott myndband.<\/p>\n
Ef hann hringir \u00ed \u00feig svona snemma er \u00fea\u00f0 l\u00edklega vegna \u00feess a\u00f0 hann vill hitta \u00feig, ekki af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hann langi \u00fat \u00e1 l\u00edfi\u00f0. Ef hann \u00fearf endilega a\u00f0 fara \u00fat \u00e1 l\u00edfi\u00f0 \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00fe\u00fa nennir ekki me\u00f0 honum, er hann sennilega alki.<\/p>\n
Nokkur d\u00e6mi um \u00fea\u00f0 sem karlmenn eiga vi\u00f0 \u00feegar \u00feeir tala um sj\u00e1lfa sig:<\/p>\n
\u00de\u00fa kynnist manni \u00e1 einkamal.is \u00cd augl\u00fdsingunni hans kemur fram a\u00f0 hann s\u00e9 hann s\u00e9 „myndarlegur, r\u00f3mant\u00edskur, fj\u00e1rhagslega sj\u00e1lfst\u00e6\u00f0ur og mennta\u00f0ur“. \u00de\u00fa \u00e1kve\u00f0ur a\u00f0 r\u00e6\u00f0a vi\u00f0 manninn \u00ed s\u00edma, og spyr\u00f0 hann a\u00f0eins n\u00e1nar \u00fat \u00ed
\n\u00feessi atri\u00f0i, drykkjusi\u00f0i hans o.fl.<\/p>\n
-Hann (borginmannlega): \u00c9g er 52ja \u00e1ra, \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g l\u00edti n\u00fa ekki \u00fat fyrir \u00fea\u00f0. Flestir halda a\u00f0 \u00e9g s\u00e9 svona 46-48.
\n-\u00dea\u00f0 sem hann \u00e1 vi\u00f0: \u00c9g er, eins og felstir karlar \u00e1 m\u00ednum aldri, n\u00e1kv\u00e6mlega jafn gamall og \u00e9g l\u00edt \u00fat fyrir a\u00f0 vera en er duglegri vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 blekkja sj\u00e1lfan mig hva\u00f0 var\u00f0ar \u00fatlit og l\u00edkamlegt atgervi, en flestar konur.<\/p>\n
-Hann: J\u00e1, \u00e9g er mj\u00f6g r\u00f3mant\u00edskur, miki\u00f0 fyrir g\u00f3\u00f0an mat og kertalj\u00f3s og svona.
\n-\u00dea\u00f0 sem hann \u00e1 vi\u00f0: \u00c9g hef ekki kveikt \u00e1 kerti heima hj\u00e1 m\u00e9r s\u00ed\u00f0an um s\u00ed\u00f0ustu j\u00f3l en \u00e9g myndi gla\u00f0ur grafa upp gamla
\nkertastubba ef \u00fe\u00fa k\u00e6mir \u00ed heims\u00f3kn. Drasli\u00f0 s\u00e9st verr \u00ed daufri birtu. \u00c9g hef gaman af g\u00f3\u00f0um mat en bor\u00f0a oftast \u00f6rbylgjumat fyrir einmana \u00cdslendinga og vil a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa komir og breytir l\u00edfsst\u00edl m\u00ednum og eldir kj\u00f6ts\u00fapu.<\/p>\n
-Hann: \u00c9g er n\u00fa kannski ekki beinl\u00ednis bindindisma\u00f0ur, drekk gjarnan gott v\u00edn me\u00f0 matnum og svona. Og svo dettur ma\u00f0ur kannski \u00ed \u00fea\u00f0 svona me\u00f0 vinnuf\u00e9l\u00f6gunum af og til og svona. L\u00edfi\u00f0 v\u00e6ri n\u00fa l\u00edti\u00f0 skemmtilegt ef ma\u00f0ur sletti aldrei \u00far klaufunum.
\n-\u00dea\u00f0 sem hann \u00e1 vi\u00f0: \u00c9g er \u00feetta d\u00e6miger\u00f0a f\u00edfl sem heldur a\u00f0 konur falli umsvifalaust fyrirm manni sem lifir fyrir steikur og rau\u00f0v\u00edn. Hva\u00f0a h\u00e1lfviti heldur \u00fe\u00fa a\u00f0 drekki v\u00edn me\u00f0 \u00f6rbylgjumatnum og j\u00e1 \u00e9g fer \u00e1 fyllir\u00ed, ekki me\u00f0 vinnuf\u00e9l\u00f6gunum \u00fev\u00ed \u00feeir eiga allir einhverjar helv\u00edtis fj\u00f6lskyldur, heldur \u00fev\u00e6list \u00e9g einn \u00e1 milli p\u00f6bba og fer venjulega einn heim eftir fullkomlega misheppna\u00f0 kv\u00f6ld. Hvern fjandann \u00e1 ma\u00f0ur anna\u00f0 a\u00f0 gera um helgar?<\/p>\n
Eina lei\u00f0in til a\u00f0 komast a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed hvort ma\u00f0urinn hefur stj\u00f3rn \u00e1 drykkju sinni e\u00f0a ekki, er s\u00fa a\u00f0 kynnast honum. \u00dev\u00ed oftar sem hann segir -og svona, \u00fev\u00ed meiri l\u00edkur eru \u00e1 a\u00f0 hann s\u00e9 fullkominn l\u00faser og ef hann notar or\u00f0alagi\u00f0 „a\u00f0 sletta \u00far klaufunum“ er \u00fea\u00f0 \u00f6ruggt merki \u00feess a\u00f0 hann kann ekki a\u00f0 skemmta s\u00e9r.<\/p>\n
-Hann: Ma\u00f0ur er n\u00e1tt\u00farulega me\u00f0 \u00e1g\u00e6tar tekjur og svona en fj\u00e1rm\u00e1lin g\u00e6tu n\u00e1tt\u00farulega sta\u00f0i\u00f0 betur. Ma\u00f0ur gekk \u00ed gegnum skilna\u00f0 og svona og n\u00e1tt\u00farulega eftirl\u00e9t ma\u00f0ur konunni n\u00e6stum allt. H\u00fan er n\u00fa me\u00f0 b\u00f6rnin og svona.
\n-\u00dea\u00f0 sem hann \u00e1 vi\u00f0: \u00c9g er reyndar ekki gjald\u00ferota en staurblankur, me\u00f0 h\u00e6rri grei\u00f0slubyr\u00f0i en \u00e9g r\u00e6\u00f0 vi\u00f0 og skulda me\u00f0lagsgreislur 3 \u00e1r aftur \u00ed t\u00edmann.<\/p>\n
Karlma\u00f0ur sem sk\u00fdrir blankheit s\u00edn me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 fyrrverandi konan hans s\u00e9 svo kr\u00f6fuh\u00f6r\u00f0 er n\u00e1nast alltaf l\u00faser, for\u00f0a\u00f0u \u00fe\u00e9r.<\/p>\n
-Hann: Ma\u00f0ur er n\u00e1tt\u00farlega enginn fr\u00e6\u00f0ingur svosem, en ma\u00f0ur hefur n\u00fa allavega meirapr\u00f3f og svo var \u00e9g byja\u00f0ur a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra \u00fej\u00f3ninn en hef aldrei kl\u00e1ra\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0. Ma\u00f0ur kl\u00e1ra \u00fea\u00f0 kannski einhvernt\u00edma, he he. Meira upp \u00far v\u00f6rub\u00edlnum a\u00f0 hafa sko.
\n-\u00dea\u00f0 sem hann \u00e1 vi\u00f0: \u00c9g var eina \u00f6nn \u00ed n\u00e1mi en f\u00e9ll s\u00f6kum djammgle\u00f0i og heimsku og \u00e6tla aldrei \u00ed n\u00e1m aftur.<\/p>\n
Ef \u00fe\u00fa ert a\u00f0 leita a\u00f0 manni me\u00f0 \u00feokklega menntun, hlauptu \u00fe\u00e1 yfir allar augl\u00fdsingar \u00fear sem ekki eru or\u00f0 eins og h\u00e1sk\u00f3lamennta\u00f0ur, i\u00f0nmennta\u00f0ur, verslunarpr\u00f3f o.s.frv. Or\u00f0i\u00f0 menntun hefur ekkert gildi \u00e1 einkamal.is<\/p>\n
H\u00e9r hafa a\u00f0eins veri\u00f0 nefnd \u00f6rf\u00e1 d\u00e6mi um \u00fea\u00f0 sem karlmenn eiga sennilega vi\u00f0 me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed sem \u00feeir segja. \u00de\u00e6r ykkar sem hafa fleiri d\u00e6mi haldb\u00e6r mega gjarnan senda m\u00e9r \u00feau \u00ed t\u00f6lvup\u00f3sti. Kannski tekst m\u00e9r \u00fe\u00e1 \u00e1 endanum a\u00f0 skilja karlmenn n\u00f3gu vel til a\u00f0 einhver \u00feeirra endist \u00ed sambandi vi\u00f0 mig lengur en 2 m\u00e1nu\u00f0i.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Tveggja \u00e1ratuga ranns\u00f3knir m\u00ednar \u00e1 karlkyninu hafa leitt mig a\u00f0 \u00feeirri ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0u a\u00f0 \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0an fyrir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0\u00a0stundum skil \u00e9g ekki karlmenn, er ekki s\u00fa a\u00f0 \u00e9g s\u00e9 svona treg, heldur s\u00fa a\u00f0 karlar gera ekkert minni kr\u00f6fur til \u00feess en … Halda \u00e1fram a\u00f0 lesa