Haffi hringdi \u00ed mig hva\u00f0 eftir anna\u00f0 um helgina. Ekki samt drukkinn, heldur \u00e1 me\u00f0an hann var enn\u00fe\u00e1 \u00ed vinnunni. Haf\u00f0i ekkert a\u00f0 segja, sag\u00f0ist bara langa a\u00f0 heyra \u00ed m\u00e9r r\u00f6ddina. \u00c9g held a\u00f0 hann hafi sm\u00e1 sektarkennd yfir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hafa stefnt tveimur konum heim \u00ed einu um s\u00ed\u00f0ustu helgi. \u00dea\u00f0 var ekki beinl\u00ednis \u00fe\u00e6gileg upplifun a\u00f0 vakna me\u00f0 Brj\u00f3stfr\u00ed\u00f0i \u00e1 r\u00famstokknum.<\/p>\n
Hann kann ekki samskipti, kann ekki a\u00f0 bi\u00f0ja um \u00fea\u00f0 sem hann vantar, svo venjulega hj\u00e1lpa \u00e9g honum og sting upp \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g komi til hans. En ekki \u00ed \u00feetta sinn. \u00c9g nenni ekki a\u00f0 vera h\u00e6kja einhverrar \u00f6rlagabyttu svo \u00e9g var bara bl\u00e1tt \u00e1fram og almennileg en ekki \u00e1st\u00fa\u00f0leg og bei\u00f0 eftir a\u00f0 hann sliti samtalinu.<\/p>\n
\u00cd g\u00e6r t\u00f3k hann s\u00e9r svo tveggja t\u00edma p\u00e1su \u00far vinnunni og ba\u00f0 mig a\u00f0 l\u00edta til s\u00edn. Hann var mi\u00f0ur s\u00edn af brenniv\u00ednsf\u00edkn og \u00fea\u00f0 t\u00f3k hann heilan klukkut\u00edma a\u00f0 manna sig upp \u00ed a\u00f0 snerta \u00e1 m\u00e9r h\u00f6ndina til a\u00f0 bi\u00f0ja um sm\u00e1vegis bl\u00ed\u00f0u og elskulegheit. Au\u00f0vita\u00f0 t\u00f3k \u00e9g hann \u00ed fangi\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri \u00f3mann\u00fa\u00f0legt a\u00f0 neita ofdrykkjusj\u00faklingi \u00e1 ni\u00f0urt\u00far um vi\u00f0urkenningu \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hann sem manneskja eigi heimtingu \u00e1 vinar\u00feeli eins og anna\u00f0 f\u00f3lk, \u00fer\u00e1tt fyrir a\u00f0 vera eins og hann er.<\/p>\n
-Gerir\u00f0u \u00fe\u00e9r grein fyrir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00feetta er \u00ed \u00feri\u00f0ja sinn sem \u00e9g s\u00e9 \u00feig \u00f3drukkinn \u00e1 \u00feessu \u00e1ri sem vi\u00f0 h\u00f6fum \u00feekkst? sag\u00f0i \u00e9g.
\n-\u00c9g \u00e6tla ekkert \u00ed me\u00f0fer\u00f0, urra\u00f0i hann. \u00deegar \u00e9g minnka drykkjuna \u00fe\u00e1 geri \u00e9g \u00fea\u00f0 bara sj\u00e1lfur, \u00e1n \u00feess e\u00f0a eitthvert\u00a0l\u00e6knali\u00f0 e\u00f0a s\u00e1lfr\u00e6\u00f0ingatr\u00fa\u00f0ar stj\u00f3rni \u00fev\u00ed fyrir mig. \u00c9g veit alveg a\u00f0 \u00e9g er bytta en \u00e9g \u00e1kva\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfur. \u00c9g vil drekka. M\u00e9r finnst \u00fea\u00f0 gott. \u00c9g v\u00e6ri ekkert a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed ef \u00e9g v\u00e6ri or\u00f0inn lei\u00f0ur \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed.
\n-\u00dea\u00f0 er n\u00e1tt\u00farulega r\u00e9tt hj\u00e1 \u00fe\u00e9r. \u00de\u00fa \u00e1tt ekkert a\u00f0 h\u00e6tta \u00feessu \u00e1 me\u00f0an \u00fe\u00fa ert fullkomlega s\u00e1ttur vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 hafa ekki t\u00edma til a\u00f0 gera neitt nema vinna og drekka og r\u00e1\u00f0a hvorki vi\u00f0 fj\u00e1rm\u00e1lin \u00fe\u00edn, sambandi\u00f0 vi\u00f0 b\u00f6rnin \u00fe\u00edn e\u00f0a \u00fea\u00f0 hve margar konur m\u00e6ta inn \u00ed svefnherbergi til \u00fe\u00edn hverju sinni. Fyrst \u00fe\u00fa ert s\u00e1ttur vi\u00f0 \u00feetta allt er engin \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0a til a\u00f0 breyta \u00fev\u00ed.
\n-\u00de\u00fa gerir ekkert nema n\u00f6ldra \u00ed m\u00e9r. \u00c9g hef \u00fe\u00f3 allavega alltaf sta\u00f0i\u00f0 mig \u00ed vinnu. \u00de\u00fa g\u00e6tir amk. gefi\u00f0 m\u00e9r kredit fyrir \u00fea\u00f0.
\n-\u00c9g geri \u00fea\u00f0 elskan og ef \u00fea\u00f0 er \u00fea\u00f0 eina sem \u00fe\u00fa \u00fearft til a\u00f0 vera hamingjusamur \u00fe\u00e1 er l\u00edka allt \u00ed lagi.
\n-\u00c9g sag\u00f0i ekkert a\u00f0 \u00e9g v\u00e6ri hamingjusamur. \u00c9g vil bara ekki h\u00e6tta a\u00f0 drekka. M\u00e9r l\u00ed\u00f0ur svo helv\u00edti illa \u00feegar \u00e9g er\u00a0edr\u00fa, sag\u00f0i hann.<\/p>\n
-\u00c9g veit ekki til hvers \u00e9g er a\u00f0 hitta \u00feig. \u00c9g get ekkert hj\u00e1lpa\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e9r og \u00fe\u00fa ert \u00e1kve\u00f0inn \u00ed a\u00f0 halda \u00feessu \u00e1fram svo ekki er \u00fea\u00f0 aumingjag\u00e6skan \u00ed m\u00e9r sem dregur mig hinga\u00f0 og \u00e9g f\u00e6 ekkert \u00fat \u00far \u00feessu sj\u00e1lf anna\u00f0 en vitneskjuna um a\u00f0 \u00e9g eigi m\u00f6guleika \u00e1 b\u00f3lf\u00e9laga \u00feegar \u00fe\u00e9r hentar en ekki sj\u00e1lfri m\u00e9r.
\n-Eins og \u00fe\u00fa eigir ekki n\u00f3g af b\u00f3lf\u00e9l\u00f6gum, tuldra\u00f0i hann.
\n-\u00c9g \u00e1 ekki fleiri b\u00f3lf\u00e9laga en \u00feig. Ekki af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 m\u00e9r finnist neitt a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed, heldur af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 hentar m\u00e9r ekki. \u00c9g veit hinsvegar a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa sefur hj\u00e1 fleiri konum og \u00fea\u00f0 er allt \u00ed lagi m\u00edn vegna en \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri samt l\u00e1gmarkskurteisi af \u00fe\u00e9r a\u00f0 svara s\u00edmanum \u00feegar \u00fe\u00fa veist a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa \u00fearft hvorki a\u00f0 gefa m\u00e9r sk\u00fdrslu n\u00e9 lj\u00faga a\u00f0 m\u00e9r.
\n-\u00c9g er ekki me\u00f0 \u00f6\u00f0rum en \u00fe\u00e9r, laug hann og sag\u00f0i m\u00e9r langa s\u00f6gu af \u00fev\u00ed hvernig konan um s\u00ed\u00f0ustu helgi hef\u00f0i lagt hann \u00ed einelti af \u00e1sts\u00fdki sinni og n\u00e1nast smygla\u00f0 s\u00e9r inn \u00e1 hann. Klikkti \u00fat me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00feessi \u00f3v\u00e6nti fundur \u00ed svefnherberginu hef\u00f0i veri\u00f0 hluti af \u00e1\u00e6tlun um a\u00f0 gera henni grein fyrir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hann v\u00e6ri me\u00f0 annarri og vildi ekkert me\u00f0 hana hafa.<\/p>\n
-\u00c6 Haffi minn, h\u00e6ttu n\u00fa \u00feessu bulli. Af hverju segir\u00f0u ekki hreint \u00fat „\u00e9g get ekki hitt \u00feig \u00ed kv\u00f6ld \u00fev\u00ed n\u00fana er \u00e9g me\u00f0 Mar\u00edu e\u00f0a Laufeyju e\u00f0a St\u00ednu“ \u00ed sta\u00f0 \u00feess a\u00f0 svara bara ekki.
\n-\u00dea\u00f0 er alveg satt, \u00fea\u00f0 er engin \u00f6nnur. \u00c9g drekk of miki\u00f0 en \u00e9g l\u00fdg ekki a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e9r, sag\u00f0i hann og \u00e9g nennti ekki a\u00f0 m\u00f3tm\u00e6la \u00fev\u00ed. Nennti ekki a\u00f0 segja honum a\u00f0 \u00e9g kynni a\u00f0 telja og vissi hve margir smokkar v\u00e6ru \u00ed einum pakka. Nennti ekki a\u00f0 spyrja til hvers hann noti fj\u00f3lubl\u00e1ar h\u00e1rspennur. Nennti ekki yfirheyrslum um hva\u00f0 s\u00edmhringingar og sms bo\u00f0 um mi\u00f0jar n\u00e6tur merki. M\u00e9r er hvort sem er svo n\u00e1kv\u00e6mlega sama. \u00dea\u00f0 eru ekki hv\u00edlubr\u00f6g\u00f0 hans vi\u00f0 a\u00f0rar konur sem fara \u00ed taugarnar \u00e1 m\u00e9r, heldur \u00feessi andskotans lygas\u00fdki.<\/p>\n
Hann \u00feurfti a\u00f0 m\u00e6ta \u00ed vinnu aftur kl. 6. og vi\u00f0 ur\u00f0um samfer\u00f0a ni\u00f0ur tr\u00f6ppurnar. Hann fa\u00f0ma\u00f0i mig \u00ed anddyrinu og spur\u00f0i hvort \u00e9g v\u00e6ri eitthva\u00f0 s\u00far.
\n-Ekki \u00fat \u00ed \u00feig, sag\u00f0i \u00e9g. En \u00e9g er svekkt \u00fat \u00ed sj\u00e1lfa mig fyrir a\u00f0 vera a\u00f0 \u00feessu.
\n-Vi\u00f0 skulum h\u00e6tta a\u00f0 hittast, sag\u00f0i Haffi og strauk \u00e1 m\u00e9r vangann.
\n-Er \u00fea\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 sem \u00fe\u00fa vilt?
\nHann hristi h\u00f6fu\u00f0i\u00f0 og beit \u00ed v\u00f6rina \u00e1 s\u00e9r.
\n-Ekki \u00e9g nei. \u00dea\u00f0 er ekki \u00e9g sem vil \u00fea\u00f0. Svo rauk hann ni\u00f0ur kjallaratr\u00f6ppurnar og \u00e9g hef\u00f0i \u00e1tt a\u00f0 hlaupa \u00e1 eftir honum bara til a\u00f0 s\u00fdna honum a\u00f0 einhverjum \u00ed alheiminum v\u00e6ri ekki sk\u00edtsama um \u00fea\u00f0 hvernig honum li\u00f0i, en \u00e9g ger\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0 ekki. \u00c9g reyndi a\u00f0 hringja en hann svara\u00f0i ekki og v\u00edsast hefur hann drukki\u00f0 sig \u00ed svefn um lei\u00f0 og hann kom heim.<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 mikilv\u00e6ga er, a\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00e1tta\u00f0i mig skyndilega \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed hversvegna \u00e9g er a\u00f0 \u00feessu. \u00dea\u00f0 rann upp fyrir m\u00e9r \u00e1\u00a0einu augnabliki \u00feegar \u00e9g st\u00f3\u00f0 \u00ed anddyrinu og hlusta\u00f0i \u00e1 hann hlaupa ni\u00f0ur kjallaratr\u00f6ppurnar. \u00dea\u00f0 er nefnilega hvorki m\u00edn eigin einsemd n\u00e9 „aumingjag\u00e6ska“ sem dregur mig til hans. \u00c9g er einfaldlega svo illa innr\u00e6tt a\u00f0 \u00e9g f\u00e6 kikk \u00fat \u00far \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 a\u00f0 einhverjum l\u00ed\u00f0i verr en m\u00e9r sj\u00e1lfri.<\/p>\n
L\u00edklega var \u00fea\u00f0 af s\u00f6mu l\u00e1gk\u00farulegu hv\u00f6tum sem \u00e9g bau\u00f0 honum Halla m\u00ednum lj\u00fafa, litla a\u00f0 flytja inn til m\u00edn \u00e1 s\u00ednum t\u00edma, vitandi a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 \u00e6ttum n\u00e1kv\u00e6mlega ekkert sameiginlegt og a\u00f0 \u00e9g myndi ekki sakna hans verulega s\u00e1rt \u00feegar hann f\u00e6ri. Og \u00fea\u00f0 er heldur ekki e\u00f0ilsl\u00e6g grei\u00f0vikni sem hefur fengi\u00f0 mig til a\u00f0 sinna systur minni hinni botnlangalausu undanfarna daga. Bara \u00feessi sami \u00f3ge\u00f0s\u00fe\u00e1ttur \u00ed e\u00f0li m\u00ednu sem \u00e1 harla l\u00edti\u00f0 skylt vi\u00f0 mannk\u00e6rleika og sam\u00fa\u00f0.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Haffi hringdi \u00ed mig hva\u00f0 eftir anna\u00f0 um helgina. Ekki samt drukkinn, heldur \u00e1 me\u00f0an hann var enn\u00fe\u00e1 \u00ed vinnunni. Haf\u00f0i ekkert a\u00f0 segja, sag\u00f0ist bara langa a\u00f0 heyra \u00ed m\u00e9r r\u00f6ddina. \u00c9g held a\u00f0 hann hafi sm\u00e1 sektarkennd yfir … Halda \u00e1fram a\u00f0 lesa