Systkina (af hverju er \u00fea\u00f0 ekki stafsett systkyni?) tv\u00edeyki\u00f0 h\u00e9lt upp \u00e1 afm\u00e6lin s\u00edn \u00ed g\u00e6r. Fyrst me\u00f0 fj\u00f6lskylduv\u00e6nu kaffibo\u00f0i s\u00ed\u00f0degis og svo var part\u00fd um kv\u00f6ldi\u00f0.<\/p>\n
M\u00f3\u00f0ir m\u00edn alfr\u00e6\u00f0ingurinn h\u00e9lt sinn hef\u00f0bundna fyrirlestur um vir\u00f0ingarleysi r\u00edkisvaldsins, almennings og Gu\u00f0s alm\u00e1ttugs fyrir vinnua\u00f0st\u00e6\u00f0um t\u00f3nlistarkennara. \u00cd beinu framhaldi og \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 nokkur annar fengi t\u00e6kif\u00e6ri til a\u00f0 opna \u00e1 s\u00e9r \u00feverrifuna \u00ed millit\u00ed\u00f0inni, gaf h\u00fan sk\u00fdrslu (blessunarlega \u00f3n\u00e1kv\u00e6ma \u00ed \u00feetta sinn) um kynni s\u00edn af heilbrig\u00f0iskerfinu. \u00dear sem B\u00f3ksalinn gla\u00f0beitti, (sem er ekki perri \u00fer\u00e1tt fyrir a\u00f0 hafa vingast vi\u00f0 barnungar systur m\u00ednar, \u00feegar hann var sj\u00e1lfur kominn h\u00e1tt \u00e1 fimmtugsaldur) dr\u00f3 hana \u00fat \u00ed umr\u00e6\u00f0ur um p\u00f3it\u00edskt h\u00f3rir\u00ed Ingibjargar S\u00f3lr\u00fanar, vannst henni ekki t\u00edmi til a\u00f0 r\u00e6\u00f0a megrunara\u00f0ger\u00f0ir s\u00ednar af nokkurri n\u00e1kv\u00e6mni, bara r\u00e9tt t\u00e6pti \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 h\u00fan fyndi n\u00fa m\u00f3ta fyrir\u00a0mitti eftir a\u00f0 hafa g\u00falla\u00f0 \u00ed sig kolvetnasnau\u00f0um rj\u00f3ma, m\u00e6jonesi og feitu keti \u00ed m\u00e1nu\u00f0. H\u00fan l\u00edtur reyndar mj\u00f6g vel \u00fat \u00fer\u00e1tt fyrir kolvetnaskortinn og setti fram \u00fe\u00e1 kenningu a\u00f0 h\u00fan s\u00e9 e.t.v. haldin \u00e1vaxta\u00f3\u00feoli. Einhvernveginn hef \u00e9g \u00e1 tilfinningunni a\u00f0 h\u00fan hafi hinga\u00f0 til fengi\u00f0 s\u00edn kolvetni \u00far karamellum fremur en appels\u00ednum en kenningin er br\u00e1\u00f0skemmtileg. Geri r\u00e1\u00f0 fyrir a\u00f0 hitta b\u00f3ksalann gla\u00f0beitta \u00ed \u00c1rnagar\u00f0i \u00e1 m\u00e1nudaginn, v\u00e6nti \u00feess a\u00f0 \u00f3t\u00e6pilegt fj\u00e1rmagn ver\u00f0i \u00fe\u00e1 hruni\u00f0 \u00ed vasa m\u00edna af himnum ofan.<\/p>\n
\u00der\u00e1tt fyrir alr\u00e6mt djamm\u00f3\u00feol mitt m\u00e6tti \u00e9g \u00ed samkv\u00e6mi\u00f0 \u00ed kv\u00f6ldi\u00f0. M\u00e9r fannst \u00e9g falleg \u00feegar \u00e9g lag\u00f0i af sta\u00f0 en systkini m\u00edn og allir vinir \u00feeirra eru anorex\u00edusj\u00faklingar svo \u00e9g var b\u00e6\u00f0i elsta og feitasta manneskjan \u00e1 sta\u00f0num. \u00dea\u00f0 var \u00fe\u00f3 ofgn\u00f3tt nik\u00f3t\u00edns og tj\u00f6ru \u00ed andr\u00famsloftinu, fremur en \u00fat\u00feenslustefna m\u00edns tigna afturenda sem hrakti mig \u00fat eftir h\u00e1lft\u00edma enda engin von um a\u00f0 s\u00e6gur kyn\u00feokkafullra menningarvita banka\u00f0i upp \u00e1 og by\u00f0i m\u00e9r reykfr\u00edan f\u00e9lagsskap \u00ed eldh\u00fasinu.<\/p>\n
Mig s\u00e1rvanta\u00f0i f\u00e9lagsskap sterkara kynsins enda hl\u00fdt \u00e9g a\u00f0 vera veikbur\u00f0a og \u00f3sj\u00e1lfst\u00e6\u00f0 „innst inni“ (svo langt „inni“ a\u00f0 \u00e9g hef aldrei komi\u00f0 \u00feanga\u00f0). \u00c9g \u00feekki bara tvo karlmenn sem eru \u00e1 lausu og \u00fear sem doktorinn ver\u00f0ur b\u00e6\u00f0i blindur og heyrnarlaus \u00feegar \u00e9g vi\u00f0ra hugmyndir m\u00ednar um samb\u00fa\u00f0 vi\u00f0 hann, tel \u00e9g \u00f3l\u00edklegt a\u00f0 hann hoppa\u00f0i h\u00e6\u00f0 s\u00edna af hamingju ef \u00e9g birtist \u00e1 tr\u00f6ppunum hj\u00e1 honum um mi\u00f0ja n\u00f3tt og hef\u00f0i \u00ed frammi lostal\u00e6ti. \u00dea\u00f0\u00a0gerir Haffi hins vegar alltaf og hj\u00e1 honum enda\u00f0i \u00e9g.<\/p>\n
Haffi var ekki a\u00f0 vinna og \u00fe.a.l. fullur. Skamma\u00f0ist s\u00edn fyrir a\u00f0 hafa ekki haft samband svona lengi og h\u00f3f upp klisjukennt bull um dj\u00fapst\u00e6\u00f0an \u00f3tta sinn vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 tengjast m\u00e9r tilfinningalega; \u00e1star\u00ferugl kynni ekki g\u00f3\u00f0ru lukku a\u00f0 st\u00fdra \u00ed sambandi tveggja svo h\u00f3rl\u00edfra og saurl\u00edfra einstaklinga. \u00c9g sag\u00f0i honum a\u00f0 hann v\u00e6ri b\u00e6\u00f0i b\u00f6lvu\u00f0 fyllibytta og for\u00e1ttuheimskur og \u00e9g hef\u00f0i enga \u00e1huga \u00e1 honum til annars en kynfer\u00f0islegra afnota.<\/p>\n
Karlm\u00f6nnum fellur alltaf h\u00e1lfilla a\u00f0 heyra a\u00f0 konan s\u00e9 bara a\u00f0 leita a\u00f0 skyndikynnum \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 n\u00e1kv\u00e6mlega \u00fea\u00f0 sem \u00feeir sj\u00e1lfir vilja. \u00dea\u00f0 g\u00f3\u00f0a vi\u00f0 Haffa er a\u00f0 hann er laus vi\u00f0 smokkaf\u00e6lni (\u00e9g f\u00edla smokka \u00ed druslur) og getur stunda\u00f0 skuldbindingarlaust kynl\u00edf \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 heg\u00f0a s\u00e9r eins og hann s\u00e9 a\u00f0 leika \u00ed kl\u00e1mmynd.<\/p>\n
Ekki svo a\u00f0 skilja a\u00f0 \u00e9g hafi yfirgripsmikla \u00feekkingu \u00e1 \u00feeim i\u00f0na\u00f0i. \u00c9g hef bara einu sinni s\u00e9\u00f0 kl\u00e1mmynd \u00ed fullri lengd og \u00fea\u00f0 var hvorki „Deep Throat 5“ n\u00e9 „Anal Intruder 8“. \u00dea\u00f0 var \u00e1ri\u00f0 sem var\u00f0 \u00fer\u00edtug. \u00c1tta\u00f0i mig allt \u00ed einu \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed\u00a0a\u00f0 \u00e9g var ekki samr\u00e6\u00f0uh\u00e6f \u00feegar nemendur m\u00ednir \u00ed 10. bekk t\u00f6lu\u00f0u um kvikmyndir svo \u00e9g skunda\u00f0i inn til Kidda V\u00edde\u00f3flugu og ba\u00f0 um kl\u00e1mmynd. T\u00f3k sk\u00fdrt fram a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri eing\u00f6ngu af fr\u00e6\u00f0ilegum \u00e1huga svo hann h\u00e9ldi\u00a0n\u00fa ekki a\u00f0 \u00e9g v\u00e6ri anna\u00f0hvort perri e\u00f0a \u00f6rv\u00e6ntingarfull (hvorugt \u00feykir nefnilega k\u00falt \u00ed fari einhleypra kvenna og eins og allir vita er \u00e9g \u00ed k\u00falli kantinum).<\/p>\n
\u00darvali\u00f0 sem hann s\u00fdndi m\u00e9r var ekki l\u00edklegt til a\u00f0 vekja \u00e1huga hinna skandinav\u00edskufyrirl\u00edtandi n\u00e1mssveina minna en Kiddi \u00fevert\u00f3k fyrir a\u00f0 eiga mynd me\u00f0 kvensnipt a\u00f0 nafni Jenna Jameson \u00ed a\u00f0alhlutverki e\u00f0a nokkru hlutverki. (Seinna f\u00e9kk \u00e9g sta\u00f0festingu \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 var hin mesta lygi.) Hann sendi mig heim me\u00f0 „Hopsasa paa sengekanten“ og \u00e9g hef ekki s\u00e9\u00f0 \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0u til a\u00f0 leggjast \u00ed umfangsmeiri ranns\u00f3kn \u00e1 t\u00f6fraheimi kl\u00e1mmyndanna. \u00c9g hef reyndar l\u00edka s\u00e9\u00f0 kl\u00e1mmyndina „American Pie“ en m\u00e9r fannst h\u00fan s\u00fdnu verri og vir\u00f0ist af \u00f3skiljanlegri \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0u ein um a\u00f0 telja hana til kl\u00e1mmynda.<\/p>\n
En \u00feetta var n\u00fa \u00fat\u00fard\u00far. Haffi er \u00e1g\u00e6tur til s\u00edns br\u00faks \u00fe\u00f3tt hann s\u00e9 ekki samb\u00fa\u00f0arh\u00e6fur. \u00c9g stakk af \u00feegar hann var sofna\u00f0ur \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g viti hva\u00f0 honum finnst \u00f6murlegt a\u00f0 vakna einn \u00e1 sunnudagsmorgnum. M\u00e9r finnst svo helv\u00edti vont a\u00f0 sofa \u00ed r\u00faminu hans. En hamingjan sanna hva\u00f0 \u00feessi vesalings drykkjusvoli er fallegur. Og sefur alltaf vi\u00f0 hrein r\u00famf\u00f6t greyskinni\u00f0, prik fyrir \u00fea\u00f0.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Systkina (af hverju er \u00fea\u00f0 ekki stafsett systkyni?) tv\u00edeyki\u00f0 h\u00e9lt upp \u00e1 afm\u00e6lin s\u00edn \u00ed g\u00e6r. Fyrst me\u00f0 fj\u00f6lskylduv\u00e6nu kaffibo\u00f0i s\u00ed\u00f0degis og svo var part\u00fd um kv\u00f6ldi\u00f0.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[217,1],"tags":[101,97],"class_list":["post-549","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1-hluti-golanhaedir","category-oflokkad-allt-efni","tag-fjolskyldudrama","tag-willy-wondernail"],"yoast_head":"\n