{"id":3776,"date":"2008-05-21T10:08:23","date_gmt":"2008-05-21T10:08:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/norn.pistillinn.is\/?p=3776"},"modified":"2017-09-08T12:54:40","modified_gmt":"2017-09-08T12:54:40","slug":"og-sa-ljosid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.norn.is\/sapuopera\/2008\/05\/21\/og-sa-ljosid\/","title":{"rendered":"Og s\u00e1 lj\u00f3si\u00f0"},"content":{"rendered":"

-\u00c9g hef s\u00e9\u00f0 \u00feig \u00e1starsorg. \u00de\u00fa hefur n\u00fa \u00e1rei\u00f0anlega ekkert veri\u00f0 s\u00e9rstaklega \u00e1stfangin af honum fyrst \u00fe\u00fa tekur \u00feetta ekki n\u00e6r \u00fe\u00e9r,\u00a0<\/em>sag\u00f0i h\u00fan og \u00e9g hef heyrt \u00feessa athugasemd nokku\u00f0 oft s\u00ed\u00f0ustu \u00ferj\u00e1r vikurnar.<\/p>\n

\u00c9g f\u00fankera alveg \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g ver\u00f0i fyrir \u00e1f\u00f6llum. H\u00e6tti ekkert a\u00f0 m\u00e6ta \u00ed vinnu og \u00fer\u00edfa mig e\u00f0a neitt svolei\u00f0is. En \u00fea\u00f0 fer ekki hj\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 m\u00ednir n\u00e1nustu upplifi gagngerar pers\u00f3nuleikabreytingar sem standa yfir \u00ed nokkrar vikur og af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 ger\u00f0ist ekki n\u00fana \u00e1lyktar f\u00f3lk -ranglega- a\u00f0 m\u00e9r hafi hvort sem er ekki veri\u00f0 nein alvara me\u00f0 \u00feessu sambandi. \u00dea\u00f0 er ekki alveg \u00feannig. \u00c1st\u00e6\u00f0an fyrir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g er nokkurnveginn me\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfri m\u00e9r er bara s\u00fa a\u00f0 \u00e9g er loksins b\u00fain a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra \u00fea\u00f0 sem \u00e9g \u00feurfti a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra.<\/p>\n

Heimsendir byrjar me\u00f0 k\u00f6fnunartilfinningu. Svo gefa hn\u00e9n sig. Ma\u00f0ur byrjar a\u00f0 skj\u00e1lfa, engjast og k\u00fagast. Ma\u00f0ur skilar fr\u00e1 s\u00e9r allri n\u00e6ringu og v\u00f6kva sem ma\u00f0ur hefur innbyrt \u00feann daginn og ef ma\u00f0ur v\u00e6ri \u00ed \u00e1standi til \u00feess, m\u00e6tti vel koma bl\u00f3\u00f0inu \u00far manni \u00ed gott ver\u00f0 \u00e1 d\u00f3pmarka\u00f0num. Ef svitapollar myndast \u00ed l\u00f3funum veit ma\u00f0ur a\u00f0 \u00e1standi\u00f0 stefnir \u00ed tauga\u00e1fall, og \u00fe\u00e1 leitar ma\u00f0ur hj\u00e1lpar og hlustar enn einu sinni \u00e1 klisjuna sem ma\u00f0ur kann utan a\u00f0;\u00a0\u00fea\u00f0 er ekkert a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e9r, \u00fea\u00f0 er hann sem er bj\u00e1ni, sj\u00e1\u00f0u n\u00fa bara hvernig \u00feetta fer me\u00f0 \u00feig, \u00fe\u00fa ert ekki a\u00f0 missa af neinu, \u00fea\u00f0 er eitthva\u00f0 betra sem b\u00ed\u00f0ur \u00fe\u00edn.\u00a0<\/em>En ma\u00f0ur veit a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 er kjaft\u00e6\u00f0i, a\u00f0 hann kann svosem alveg a\u00f0 vera bj\u00e1ni og allt \u00fea\u00f0 en \u00fea\u00f0 er n\u00fa samt sem \u00e1\u00f0ur eitthva\u00f0 a\u00f0 manni fyrst ma\u00f0ur lendir alltaf \u00ed sama helv\u00edtinu. Og \u00fea\u00f0 ver\u00f0ur eiginlega a\u00f0 vera \u00feannig \u00fev\u00ed ef er eitthva\u00f0 a\u00f0 manni er h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 laga \u00fea\u00f0. Ef ekki, \u00fe\u00e1 er ma\u00f0ur bara r\u00e1\u00f0\u00ferota, ofurseldur \u00f6rl\u00f6gum sem ver\u00f0a ekki fl\u00fain.<\/p>\n

Samt vissi \u00e9g alltaf a\u00f0 \u00feetta ger\u00f0ist af \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0u. Af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00feyrfti a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra eitthva\u00f0 mikilv\u00e6gt. \u00c9g vissi bara ekki hva\u00f0. \u00cd fyrstu skiptin h\u00e9lt \u00e9g a\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00feyrfti a\u00f0 b\u00e6ta mig \u00e1 einhvern h\u00e1tt. Ver\u00f0a sambandsh\u00e6f me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 ver\u00f0a eftirl\u00e1tari e\u00f0a \u00e1kve\u00f0nari, sta\u00f0fastari e\u00f0a bl\u00ed\u00f0ari, tilfinningan\u00e6mari e\u00f0a r\u00f6kfastari, \u00feolinm\u00f3\u00f0ari, kl\u00e1rari, h\u00f3gv\u00e6rari, s\u00e6tari … \u00fea\u00f0 var alltaf skortur \u00e1 honum -ara innra me\u00f0 m\u00e9r sem hlaut a\u00f0 vera sk\u00fdringin \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 enginn vildi mig og \u00feegar \u00e9g komst yfir \u00e1falli\u00f0 sp\u00f3la\u00f0i \u00e9g \u00ed \u00fea\u00f0 verk a\u00f0 laga mig.<\/p>\n

Svo kom a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g var\u00f0 ofbo\u00f0slega \u00fereytt. Hversu fokking fullkomin \u00fearf ein kona a\u00f0 vera til a\u00f0 vinna til \u00e1star? \u00c9g s\u00e1 ekki \u00feessar fullkomnu konur \u00ed kringum mig og vissi bara a\u00f0 \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0an fyrir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g upplif\u00f0i h\u00f6fnun aftur og aftur, var ekki s\u00fa a\u00f0 \u00e9g v\u00e6ri ekki n\u00f3gu g\u00f3\u00f0 manneskja. Au\u00f0vita\u00f0 haf\u00f0i \u00e9g g\u00f3\u00f0ar \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0ur til \u00feess a\u00f0 halda \u00e1fram a\u00f0 vinna \u00ed sj\u00e1lfri m\u00e9r og allt \u00fea\u00f0, en \u00e9g var bara langt fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 vera sl\u00e6mur maki. Reyndar var \u00e9g afskaplega g\u00f3\u00f0ur f\u00e9lagi og \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g hef\u00f0i eiginleika sem eflaust f\u00e6ru \u00ed taugarnar \u00e1 einhverjum var samt ekkert \u00ed fari m\u00ednu sem ger\u00f0i mig \u00feess \u00f3ver\u00f0uga a\u00f0 vera elsku\u00f0. Og hva\u00f0 var \u00fe\u00e1 a\u00f0? Hversvegna f\u00e9kk \u00e9g s\u00f6mu lex\u00eduna \u00ed hausinn aftur og aftur? Hva\u00f0 var \u00fea\u00f0 eiginlega sem m\u00e9r t\u00f3kst bara ekki a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra af reynslunni?<\/p>\n

\u00c9g vissi a\u00f0 reynslan er \u00e1kaflega \u00feolinm\u00f3\u00f0ur kennari og a\u00f0 h\u00fan hefur r\u00e9tt fyrir s\u00e9r. \u00c9g reyndi a\u00f0 hlusta \u00e1 hana. Kannski \u00e1tti \u00e9g a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra a\u00f0 for\u00f0ast \u00e1kve\u00f0na mannger\u00f0. Kannski \u00e1tti \u00e9g a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra a\u00f0 elska einhvern sem heilla\u00f0i mig ekkert s\u00e9rstaklega. \u00c9g vara\u00f0ist a\u00f0 brenna mig \u00e1 sama grautnum tvisvar en \u00feegar \u00e9g vakna\u00f0i upp vi\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 eina sem m\u00ednir menn \u00e1ttu sameiginlegt var \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 hafa d\u00f6mpa\u00f0 m\u00e9r me\u00f0 einhverjum bj\u00e1nar\u00f6kum e\u00f0a jafnvel horfi\u00f0 \u00e1n sk\u00fdringa var\u00f0 \u00e9g afskaplega vonlaus og mi\u00f0ur m\u00edn. \u00c9g var farin a\u00f0 halda a\u00f0 reynslan v\u00e6ri a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 kenna m\u00e9r a\u00f0 treysta aldrei neinum og \u00fea\u00f0 gengur n\u00fa bara ekki almennilega upp. \u00c9g haf\u00f0i svosem l\u00e6rt \u00fdmislegt. Kunni or\u00f0i\u00f0 sitthva\u00f0 um mannlegt e\u00f0li, var h\u00e6tt a\u00f0 falla fyrir f\u00e1vitum og \u00fea\u00f0 t\u00f3k mig st\u00f6\u00f0ugt styttri t\u00edma a\u00f0 komast yfir \u00e1falli\u00f0. En \u00e9g var enn\u00fe\u00e1 logandi hr\u00e6dd og \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00fea\u00f0 t\u00e6ki ekki jafn langan t\u00edma, lei\u00f0 m\u00e9r alltaf eins og \u00e9g hef\u00f0i lent \u00ed jar\u00f0skj\u00e1lfta.<\/p>\n

Svo, allt \u00ed einu, s\u00e1 \u00e9g lj\u00f3si\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 var eiginlega svona ‘cracking the code’ augnablik, eins og \u00feegar ma\u00f0ur \u00e1ttar sig allt \u00ed einu \u00e1 st\u00e6r\u00f0fr\u00e6\u00f0iform\u00falu. \u00c9g s\u00e1 fyrir m\u00e9r atvik fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed fyrr um daginn, \u00feegar \u00e9g st\u00f3\u00f0 fur\u00f0u lostin og hlusta\u00f0i \u00e1 manninn sem \u00e9g elska\u00f0i, beina or\u00f0um s\u00ednum til m\u00edn \u00feegar hann var \u00ed rauninni a\u00f0 tala vi\u00f0 einhverja allt a\u00f0ra manneskju. Hann var \u00ed raun a\u00f0 svara einhverju sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i alls ekki sagt og m\u00e9r fannst merkingin sem hann lag\u00f0i \u00ed or\u00f0 m\u00edn svo fjarst\u00e6\u00f0ukennd a\u00f0 andartak h\u00e9lt \u00e9g a\u00f0 hann v\u00e6ri klikka\u00f0ur. \u00dev\u00ed mi\u00f0ur h\u00e9lt \u00e9g \u00fea\u00f0 n\u00f3gu lengi til a\u00f0 afgrei\u00f0a m\u00e1li\u00f0 r\u00f6klega, reyna a\u00f0 sannf\u00e6ra hann um a\u00f0 \u00e9g hef\u00f0i ekki meint \u00fea\u00f0 sem hann heyr\u00f0i, sem er \u00fea\u00f0 vitlausasta sem ma\u00f0ur gerir vi\u00f0 \u00feessar kringumst\u00e6\u00f0ur og \u00e9g \u00e1 a\u00f0 vita \u00fea\u00f0. Og semsagt, seinna sama dag rann \u00fea\u00f0 upp fyrir m\u00e9r a\u00f0 vi\u00f0br\u00f6g\u00f0 hans voru ekki svar vi\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i sagt, heldur haf\u00f0i atviki\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00f6llum l\u00edkindum vaki\u00f0 upp gamla tilfinningu sem hann var ekki almennilega b\u00fainn a\u00f0 afgrei\u00f0a. Fullkomlega e\u00f0lilegt, eitthva\u00f0 sem allir gera \u00e1 einhvern h\u00e1tt, \u00fev\u00ed tilgangurinn me\u00f0 ge\u00f0tengslum fullor\u00f0inna er s\u00e1 a\u00f0 gr\u00e6\u00f0a g\u00f6mul s\u00e1r og l\u00e6ra \u00e1rangursr\u00edkari a\u00f0fer\u00f0ir til a\u00f0 leysa vandam\u00e1l og takast \u00e1 vi\u00f0 \u00e1f\u00f6ll og \u00e1greining.<\/p>\n

\u00c9g hugsa\u00f0i; fjandinn hafi \u00fea\u00f0, hann var ekkert a\u00f0 svara \u00fev\u00ed sem \u00e9g sag\u00f0i, hann var a\u00f0 svara einhverju sem g\u00f6mul k\u00e6rasta sag\u00f0i einhvernt\u00edma, e\u00f0a kennari \u00e1 unglings\u00e1runum e\u00f0a h\u00fasv\u00f6r\u00f0urinn \u00ed sumarb\u00fa\u00f0unum e\u00f0a mamma hans \u00feegar hann var \u00feriggja \u00e1ra. Og \u00fe\u00e1 allt \u00ed einu, rann tvennt upp fyrir m\u00e9r; annarsvegar st\u00e6rstu mist\u00f6k sem \u00e9g hef gert \u00ed samskiptum vi\u00f0 a\u00f0ra en \u00fea\u00f0 er a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 n\u00e1 stj\u00f3rn \u00e1 a\u00f0st\u00e6\u00f0um me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 breg\u00f0ast vi\u00f0 tilfinningum me\u00f0 r\u00f6kum. \u00dea\u00f0 virkar \u00e1g\u00e6tlega \u00feegar ma\u00f0ur er a\u00f0 takast \u00e1 vi\u00f0 s\u00ednar eigin tilfinningar en er alveg vonlaust gagnvart manneskju sem er \u00fe\u00e1 stundina f\u00f6st \u00ed g\u00f6mlu \u00e1falli og \u00fearf kannski bara fyrst og fremst vi\u00f0urkenningu \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed. Hinsvegar hra\u00f0sp\u00f3la\u00f0i hugur minn yfir tugi ef ekki hundru\u00f0 atvika, \u00fear sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i einmitt gert \u00fea\u00f0 sama sj\u00e1lf, \u00fe.e. tengt reynslu sem er \u00ed sj\u00e1lfu s\u00e9r ekkert st\u00f3rm\u00e1l vi\u00f0 gamalt \u00e1fall. \u00c9g haf\u00f0i alla \u00e6vi yfirf\u00e6rt skelfingu yfir einhverju alvarlegu yfir \u00e1 \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 missa k\u00e6rasta e\u00f0a vinkonu og \u00e9g var enn a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 afgrei\u00f0a \u00e1falli\u00f0 \u00e1 sama h\u00e1tt og \u00feegar \u00e9g var tveggja \u00e1ra.<\/p>\n

Allar martra\u00f0ir barn\u00e6sku minnar snerust um \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 vera yfirgefin \u00ed hr\u00e6\u00f0ilegum a\u00f0st\u00e6\u00f0um e\u00f0a a\u00f0 einhver minna n\u00e1nustu sleppti m\u00e9r fram af bjargbr\u00fan e\u00f0a ofan \u00ed anna\u00f0 hyld\u00fdpi. \u00deegar \u00e9g var\u00f0 fullor\u00f0in t\u00f3ku \u00feessar martra\u00f0ir \u00e1 sig mynd stj\u00f3rnleysis, \u00e9g var \u00e1 bremsulausum b\u00edl sem \u00f3k fram af hengiflugi e\u00f0a \u00e9g olli ekki byr\u00f0i sem \u00e9g \u00feurfti a\u00f0 bera ni\u00f0ur tr\u00f6ppur (aldrei upp, alltaf ni\u00f0ur) e\u00f0a brekku og datt. Seinna komst \u00e9g a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 l\u00edklega \u00e1ttu \u00feessar martra\u00f0ir r\u00e6tur s\u00ednar \u00ed raunverulegu \u00e1falli sem \u00e9g var\u00f0 fyrir sem sm\u00e1barn en get ekki rifja\u00f0 upp. \u00c9g hef aldrei veri\u00f0 lofthr\u00e6dd en \u00f3ttinn vi\u00f0 h\u00f6fnun og \u00f3ttinn um a\u00f0 einhver bryg\u00f0ist trausti m\u00ednu, hefur hva\u00f0 eftir anna\u00f0 hraki\u00f0 mig fram \u00e1 ystu n\u00f6f tauga\u00e1falls. \u00deegar einhver hafna\u00f0i m\u00e9r var\u00f0 \u00e9g tveggja \u00e1ra inni \u00ed m\u00e9r. L\u00edkami minn br\u00e1st vi\u00f0 eins og \u00e9g v\u00e6ri \u00ed l\u00edfsh\u00e6ttu. Fyrsta hugsunin sem m\u00e9r t\u00f3kst a\u00f0 or\u00f0a var ‘aldrei treysta nokkurri manneskju framar’. \u00deetta \u00e1stand var\u00f0i reyndar styttri og styttri t\u00edma \u00ed senn en \u00e9g f\u00f3r alltaf \u00ed gegnum \u00fea\u00f0, \u00ed hvert einasta skipti. \u00deanga\u00f0 til n\u00fana.<\/p>\n

\u00dea\u00f0 er ekki \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 m\u00e9r s\u00e9 bara sama. \u00c9g upplif\u00f0i alveg sorg, afneitun, rei\u00f0i, s\u00e1rsauka, sektarkennd, meiri sorg og svo aftur. En lex\u00edan klikka\u00f0i inn. \u00c9g upplif\u00f0i ekki l\u00edfsh\u00e1ska. \u00c9g fann ekki fyrir \u00feessari botnlausu angist sm\u00e1barns sem heldur a\u00f0 fullor\u00f0na f\u00f3lki\u00f0 \u00e6tli a\u00f0 henda \u00fev\u00ed \u00ed sj\u00f3inn e\u00f0a skilja \u00fea\u00f0 eftir \u00ed \u00f3bygg\u00f0um. \u00c9g skildi loksins a\u00f0 \u00e9g haf\u00f0i fram a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed tekist \u00e1 vi\u00f0 h\u00f6fnun eins og sm\u00e1barn sem b\u00fdr vi\u00f0 \u00f6ryggisleysi. Me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 ver\u00f0a \u00fe\u00f3knanlegri, me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 tala af r\u00f6kfestu, me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed reyna a\u00f0 n\u00e1 undirt\u00f6kunum, me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 bi\u00f0ja m\u00e9r v\u00e6g\u00f0ar, spila inn \u00e1 sektarkennd e\u00f0a jafnvel beita h\u00f3tunum, lofor\u00f0um og \u00f6\u00f0rum beinum stj\u00f3rnunara\u00f0ger\u00f0um. M\u00e9r t\u00f3kst snilldarlega a\u00f0 blekkja sj\u00e1lfa mig, \u00fev\u00ed yfirleitt beitti \u00e9g \u00feessum a\u00f0fer\u00f0um ekki gagnvart \u00feeim sem hafna\u00f0i m\u00e9r heldur reyndi \u00e9g a\u00f0 fyrirbyggja a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 sama endurt\u00e6ki sig \u00feegar \u00e9g eigna\u00f0ist n\u00fdjan f\u00e9laga. Eftir \u00e1 a\u00f0 hyggja hl\u00fdtur \u00fea\u00f0 stundum a\u00f0 hafa hlj\u00f3ma\u00f0 beinl\u00ednis f\u00e1r\u00e1nlega. S\u00ed\u00f0ast \u00feegar \u00e9g var\u00f0 \u00e1stfangin, tilkynnti \u00e9g manninum t.d. formlega a\u00f0 \u00e9g myndi ekki undir neinum kringumst\u00e6\u00f0um s\u00e6tta mig vi\u00f0 l\u00edkamlegt ofbeldi. Hl\u00fdtur a\u00f0 hafa komi\u00f0 illa vi\u00f0 hann \u00fev\u00ed haf\u00f0i hann aldrei gefi\u00f0 m\u00e9r minnsta tilefni til a\u00f0 halda a\u00f0 hann v\u00e6ri l\u00edklegur til \u00feess en f\u00e1r\u00e1nlegast er \u00fe\u00f3 a\u00f0 \u00e9g hef aldrei lent \u00ed ofbeldismanni sj\u00e1lf. \u00c9g ger\u00f0i m\u00e9r m.a.s. grein fyrir \u00fev\u00ed \u00fearna \u00e1 \u00feessari stund a\u00f0 athugasemdin kom fr\u00e1 tveggja \u00e1ra barninu inni \u00ed m\u00e9r en \u00e9g haf\u00f0i meiri \u00e1hyggjur af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g yr\u00f0i s\u00e6r\u00f0 en a\u00f0 honum \u00fe\u00e6tti \u00e9g skr\u00fdtin, svo \u00e9g ger\u00f0i ekki tilraun til a\u00f0 afsaka \u00feennan kj\u00e1naskap.<\/p>\n

Semsagt, \u00fea\u00f0 er ekkert \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 m\u00e9r s\u00e9 sama. \u00c1starsorg er alltaf helv\u00edtis \u00f3tukt en \u00feegar ma\u00f0ur er b\u00fainn a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra muninn \u00e1 l\u00edfsh\u00e1ska og h\u00f6fnun, \u00fe\u00e1 er l\u00edfi\u00f0 n\u00fa samt sem \u00e1\u00f0ur harla gott. Og \u00feessvegna l\u00ed\u00f0ur m\u00e9r bara \u00e1g\u00e6tlega n\u00fana. \u00c9g veit nefnilega a\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00e1 aldrei aftur eftir a\u00f0 upplifa sambandsslit sem eitthva\u00f0 hr\u00e6\u00f0ilegt. H\u00f6fnun er hundsbit j\u00e1, en ekki \u00fer\u00edh\u00f6f\u00f0a skr\u00edmsli. Nett spark \u00ed kvi\u00f0inn en ekki bakstunga ofan \u00ed hyld\u00fdpi.<\/p>\n

\u00dea\u00f0 er \u00feessvegna sem \u00e9g hef lent \u00ed \u00e1starsorg svona oft. \u00c9g \u00feurfti a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 \u00ed gegnum m\u00edn eigin kontr\u00f3lissj\u00fa og a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra a\u00f0 takast \u00e1 vi\u00f0 h\u00f6fnun eins og fullor\u00f0in manneskja \u00ed sta\u00f0 \u00feess a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 for\u00f0ast hana me\u00f0 a\u00f0fer\u00f0um barns. \u00dea\u00f0 t\u00f3kst og \u00fea\u00f0 merkir a\u00f0 \u00e9g er loksins tilb\u00fain \u00ed samband sem byggir \u00e1 trausti en sn\u00fdst ekki um endalausar tilraunir til a\u00f0 dulb\u00faa varnara\u00f0ger\u00f0ir m\u00ednar gegn hugsanlegum svikum.<\/p>\n

Me\u00f0 s\u00e9rdeilis j\u00e1kv\u00e6\u00f0u hugarfari g\u00e6ti \u00e9g jafnvel haldi\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed fram a\u00f0 mennirnir sem s\u00e6r\u00f0u mig hafi veri\u00f0 sannk\u00f6llu\u00f0 himnasending. Andlegir kennarar sem voru \u00fatvaldir til a\u00f0 hafna m\u00e9r af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00feurfti \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 halda svo \u00e9g yr\u00f0i f\u00e6r um a\u00f0 byggja upp heilbrigt samband \u00e1n \u00feessa lamandi \u00f3tta vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 vera yfirgefin. Ef \u00e9g v\u00e6ri tr\u00fau\u00f0 myndi \u00e9g l\u00edklega reyna a\u00f0 telja sj\u00e1lfri m\u00e9r tr\u00fa um \u00fea\u00f0 en svo \u00ferosku\u00f0 er \u00e9g n\u00fa ekki. \u00deeir voru f\u00e1vitar, hver \u00e1 sinn h\u00e1tt og sumir \u00feeirra s\u00fdndu af s\u00e9r framkomu sem ver\u00f0ur ekki r\u00e9ttl\u00e6tt. En ni\u00f0ursta\u00f0an er n\u00fa samt s\u00fa a\u00f0 f\u00e1vitah\u00e1ttur \u00feeirra kenndi m\u00e9r a\u00f0 komast \u00ed gegnum \u00e1starsorg \u00e1 sama h\u00e1tt og venjulegt f\u00f3lk. \u00dea\u00f0 er gott og \u00feessvegna l\u00fdsi \u00e9g h\u00e9r me\u00f0 yfir \u00feakkl\u00e6ti m\u00ednu \u00ed gar\u00f0 hvers \u00feess f\u00e1vita sem lag\u00f0i sitt af m\u00f6rkum til \u00feess a\u00f0 \u00e9g endurupplif\u00f0i skelfinguna. \u00deessa s\u00e1larangist sem svo oft hefur kalla\u00f0 fram \u00ed m\u00e9r tortryggni og stj\u00f3rnsemi \u00ed \u00feeim m\u00e6li a\u00f0 \u00feessir eiginleikar hafa valdi\u00f0 m\u00e9r ska\u00f0a \u00ed sta\u00f0 \u00feess a\u00f0 vernda mig. \u00c9g hef\u00f0i ekki komist yfir hana nema af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g upplif\u00f0i hana n\u00f3gu oft til a\u00f0 \u00e1tta mig \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00feetta var vandam\u00e1l. \u00c9g er ekki beinl\u00ednis s\u00e1tt vi\u00f0 neinn \u00feeirra sem hefur leyft s\u00e9r a\u00f0 vanvir\u00f0a \u00fer\u00e1bei\u00f0ni m\u00edna um hei\u00f0arleg samskipti, \u00fea\u00f0 hefur enginn r\u00e9tt til a\u00f0 segja eitt og meina anna\u00f0 e\u00f0a hundsa \u00fe\u00f6rf m\u00edna fyrir a\u00f0 hafa hlutina \u00e1 hreinu. En h\u00e9\u00f0an af skiptir meira m\u00e1li a\u00f0 \u00e9g er komin yfir st\u00e6rsta vandam\u00e1l tilveru minnar og fyrir \u00fea\u00f0 er \u00e9g \u00ed fullri einl\u00e6gni \u00feakkl\u00e1t.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

-\u00c9g hef s\u00e9\u00f0 \u00feig \u00e1starsorg. \u00de\u00fa hefur n\u00fa \u00e1rei\u00f0anlega ekkert veri\u00f0 s\u00e9rstaklega \u00e1stfangin af honum fyrst \u00fe\u00fa tekur \u00feetta ekki n\u00e6r \u00fe\u00e9r,\u00a0sag\u00f0i h\u00fan og \u00e9g hef heyrt \u00feessa athugasemd nokku\u00f0 oft s\u00ed\u00f0ustu \u00ferj\u00e1r vikurnar.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[251,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3776","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-8-hluti-margbrotin","category-oflokkad-allt-efni"],"yoast_head":"\nOg s\u00e1 lj\u00f3si\u00f0 - S\u00e1pu\u00f3pera<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.norn.is\/sapuopera\/2008\/05\/21\/og-sa-ljosid\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"is_IS\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Og s\u00e1 lj\u00f3si\u00f0 - 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