Fyrsti dagur \u00e1 n\u00fdjum vinnusta\u00f0. \u00c9g \u00e6tla ekki a\u00f0 ver\u00f0a ellidau\u00f0 \u00ed heima\u00fej\u00f3nustu en starfi\u00f0 \u00fatheimtir l\u00e1gmarks samskipti vi\u00f0 yfirmenn og samstarfsf\u00f3lk og \u00e9g byrja ekki \u00ed sj\u00e1lfst\u00e6\u00f0um rekstri \u00ed \u00f3kunnugu umhverfi \u00feegar aleigan er 600 kr danskar og skuldahali \u00ed \u00edslenskum.<\/p>\n
Jakob talar drafandi Su\u00f0urj\u00f3sku en \u00e9g skil hann samt, tungum\u00e1li\u00f0 ver\u00f0ur ekki til teljandi vandr\u00e6\u00f0a. Hann stikar st\u00f3rum skrefum \u00e1 undan m\u00e9r \u00fat \u00ed b\u00edlinn og testester\u00f3ni\u00f0 lekur af honum. ‘Vert’ekki me\u00f0 svona flottan rass’ hugsa \u00e9g, \u00fev\u00ed enda \u00fe\u00f3tt ma\u00f0urinn eigi ekkert skylt vi\u00f0 \u00fafna lopapeysu \u00e1 ry\u00f0gu\u00f0u rei\u00f0hj\u00f3li er or\u00f0i\u00f0 \u00fe\u00f3 nokku\u00f0 langt s\u00ed\u00f0an \u00e9g hef komist \u00ed tj\u00e1ningarf\u00e6ri vi\u00f0 anna\u00f0 karlkyns en n\u00e1nustu \u00e6ttingja, kan\u00ednukarlinn Hlunk og svo Gu\u00f0j\u00f3n litla, hr\u00fatinn h\u00e9r \u00ed Hullusveit.<\/p>\n
-\u00c9g \u00e6tti kannski a\u00f0 aka,<\/em>\u00a0segi \u00e9g eftir fyrsta klukkut\u00edmann og finn um lei\u00f0 hvernig \u00f6str\u00f3geni\u00f0 gegns\u00fdrir b\u00e6\u00f0i r\u00f6dd og or\u00f0far. Ekki ‘\u00e9g skal aka’, ‘\u00e9g ek’ e\u00f0a ‘m\u00e1 \u00e9g aka?’, heldur \u00feessi kvenlegi till\u00f6gust\u00edll sem gefur til kynna a\u00f0 \u00feetta s\u00e9 n\u00fa bara svona hugmynd, algerlega h\u00e1\u00f0 hans sam\u00feykki. Af hverju gera konur \u00feetta? Af hverju geri \u00e9g \u00feetta?<\/p>\n -\u00de\u00fa hefur n\u00f3gan t\u00edma til a\u00f0 kynnast b\u00edlnum, \u00fea\u00f0 eru mikilv\u00e6gari hlutir sem \u00fe\u00fa \u00fearft a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra \u00ed dag,\u00a0<\/em>segir Jakob vingjarnlega og st\u00edgur enn einu sinni upp \u00ed b\u00edlstj\u00f3ras\u00e6ti\u00f0.<\/p>\n -\u00c9g hef ekki \u00e1hyggjur af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 geti ekki eki\u00f0, \u00fea\u00f0 er umhverfi\u00f0 sem \u00e9g vil kynnast, \u00e9g \u00e1 erfitt me\u00f0 a\u00f0 rata,<\/em>\u00a0segi \u00e9g.<\/p>\n -\u00dea\u00f0 er n\u00fa ekkert m\u00e1l, \u00feetta er ekki st\u00f3rt sv\u00e6\u00f0i, sj\u00e1\u00f0u n\u00fa erum vi\u00f0 komin hinga\u00f0 aftur svo \u00fe\u00fa ert n\u00fa \u00feegar b\u00fain a\u00f0 kynnast \u00feessari g\u00f6tu<\/em>\u00a0svarar Jakob, jafn vingjarnlega. \u00c9g kannast a\u00f0 v\u00edsu ekkert vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 hafa s\u00e9\u00f0 \u00feessa g\u00f6tu fyrr en \u00e9g \u00e1kve\u00f0 a\u00f0 l\u00e1ta samtal okkar ekki sn\u00faast um s\u00e9rt\u00e6ka r\u00fdmisgreindarsker\u00f0ingu m\u00edna, svona fyrsta daginn, heldur brosi \u00e9g g\u00e1fulega og geri m\u00e9r upp betri d\u00f6nskukunn\u00e1ttu en \u00e9g raunverulega hef (\u00fea\u00f0 er gert me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00feagna ekki \u00e1 me\u00f0an ma\u00f0ur leitar a\u00f0 or\u00f0um, heldur bulla frekar eitthva\u00f0 um hva\u00f0 gatan s\u00e9 falleg e\u00f0a nota ensk or\u00f0 me\u00f0 d\u00f6nskum \u00e1herslum, \u00fea\u00f0 er bj\u00e1naleg \u00fe\u00f6gn sem gerir mann m\u00e1llausan, ekki vankunn\u00e1ttan.)<\/p>\n Jakob er me\u00f0 litla t\u00f6lvu \u00fear sem hann skr\u00e1ir sta\u00f0ina sem vi\u00f0 f\u00f6rum \u00e1 og t\u00edmann sem vi\u00f0 ey\u00f0um \u00e1 hverjum sta\u00f0. \u00c9g bi\u00f0 hann a\u00f0 kenna m\u00e9r \u00e1 t\u00e6ki\u00f0 en \u00fea\u00f0 eru aftur a\u00f0rir hlutir og mikilv\u00e6gari sem \u00e9g \u00fearf a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra. \u00c9g segi honum a\u00f0 \u00e9g hafi unni\u00f0 vi\u00f0 a\u00f0hlynningu aldra\u00f0ra \u00e1\u00f0ur og kunni b\u00e6\u00f0i \u00e1 lyfjabox og bleyjur en \u00e9g hafi aldrei s\u00e9\u00f0 svona t\u00e6ki \u00e1\u00f0ur. Og Jakob brosir me\u00f0 \u00f6llu andlitinu, \u00feenur brj\u00f3st og sperrir st\u00e9l og s\u00fdnir m\u00e9r hvernig \u00fea\u00f0 er nota\u00f0.<\/p>\n -Kannski \u00e6tti \u00e9g a\u00f0 pr\u00f3fa? M\u00e9r gengur alltaf best a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 pr\u00f3fa sj\u00e1lf,<\/em>\u00a0segir \u00f6str\u00f3geni\u00f0 \u00ed m\u00e9r og \u00e9g kyngi klakhlj\u00f3\u00f0inu \u00feegar handleggir okkar rekast \u00f3vart saman. Hva\u00f0 er eiginlega a\u00f0 m\u00e9r? \u00c9g myndi ekki einu sinni sj\u00e1 \u00feetta v\u00f6\u00f0vaflykki ef \u00e9g v\u00e6ri ekki langsvelt af samneyti vi\u00f0 tegundina og hann er ekki einu sinni laglegur. Jakob er duglegur. Eiginlega of duglegur. \u00c9g m\u00e1 hj\u00e1lpa nokkrum \u00far sokkunum og bursta tennur en helst ekkert anna\u00f0. Hann er samt mj\u00f6g viljugur a\u00f0 kenna m\u00e9r, b\u00e6\u00f0i segja og s\u00fdna og hann er yndislega g\u00f3\u00f0ur vi\u00f0 gamla f\u00f3lki\u00f0. Ein fr\u00fain b\u00fd\u00f0ur honum upp \u00ed r\u00fam til s\u00edn en hann sl\u00e6r \u00fev\u00ed upp \u00ed gr\u00edn og \u00fea\u00f0 er ekkert fum \u00e1 honum \u00fe\u00f3tt ein ney\u00f0arbjallan finnist ekki og f\u00f6tlu\u00f0 kona hrasi, heldur gr\u00edpur hann hana af kunn\u00e1ttu og \u00f6ryggi.<\/p>\n \u00cd matarp\u00e1sunni spyrja konunar hvernig m\u00e9r l\u00edtist \u00e1. Vel svosem, a\u00f0 \u00f6\u00f0ru leyti en \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g hef \u00e1hyggjur af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 m\u00e9r gangi illa a\u00f0 rata. \u00de\u00e6r skilja \u00e1hyggjur m\u00ednar vel, lentu sumar \u00ed \u00fev\u00ed sj\u00e1lfar fyrstu dagana a\u00f0 villast, gagga svo hver upp \u00ed a\u00f0ra a\u00f0 \u00e9g eigi endilega a\u00f0 taka vi\u00f0 st\u00fdrinu \u00fev\u00ed \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 flj\u00f3tlegra a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra \u00e1 umhverfi\u00f0 \u00feannig. \u00c9g s\u00e9 br\u00fanina \u00e1 Jakob \u00feyngjast verulega en hann plokkar \u00ed matinn sinn og segir ekkert. Eftir mat gr\u00edp \u00e9g lykilinn, strunsa \u00fat \u00e1 undan Jakob og sest undir st\u00fdri\u00f0.<\/p>\n -Svo \u00fe\u00fa vilt keyra?<\/em>\u00a0segir hann \u00feurrlega.<\/p>\n -\u00deetta eru ekki f\u00e6rri en 20 heimili, \u00e9g \u00e1 aldrei eftir a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra a\u00f0 rata \u00feetta bara me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 horfa \u00fat um b\u00edlgluggann\u00a0<\/em>segi \u00e9g og hann lei\u00f0beinir m\u00e9r af vinsemd og leggur sig virkilega fram um a\u00f0 leyna f\u00fdlunni.<\/p>\n -\u00de\u00fa \u00feyrftir a\u00f0 aka hra\u00f0ar,\u00a0<\/em>segir hann eftir sm\u00e1stund og g\u00e6tir nokkurs \u00f3r\u00f3a \u00ed r\u00f6ddinni.<\/p>\n -Virkilega, hver er h\u00e1markshra\u00f0inn h\u00e9r?<\/em>\u00a0segi \u00e9g \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g viti vel a\u00f0 hann s\u00e9 30 og gatan full af hindrunum svo \u00fea\u00f0 er ekki h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 aka hratt, hva\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e1 skynsamlegt. Jakob hefur \u00e1 or\u00f0i a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00f3tt s\u00e9 mikilv\u00e6gt a\u00f0 vir\u00f0a l\u00f6g s\u00e9um vi\u00f0 samt \u00e1 eftir \u00e1\u00e6tlun.<\/p>\n ‘Og hva\u00f0 gerist ef vi\u00f0 ver\u00f0um 10 m\u00edn\u00fatum of sein? Kemur \u00fe\u00e1 \u00deorgeirsboli og \u00e9tur gamla f\u00f3lki\u00f0?’ hugsa \u00e9g, en h\u00e6tti ekki \u00e1 a\u00f0 styggja fallosarkomplexinn frekar. \u00deegar \u00e9g stoppa r\u00edfur hann lykilinn af m\u00e9r, \u00f3sk\u00f6p vingjarnlega samt og \u00e9g \u00e1tta mig allt \u00ed einu \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 eru ekki v\u00f6\u00f0varnir sem hafa \u00feessi undarlegu \u00e1hrif \u00e1 horm\u00f3nana \u00ed m\u00e9r, heldur \u00feessi hl\u00fdja, yfirvega\u00f0a, karlheimskulega frekja. ‘Dj\u00f6full sem konur geta veri\u00f0 vitlausar’, hugsa \u00e9g og reyni a\u00f0 einbeita m\u00e9r a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 leggja lei\u00f0ina \u00e1 minni\u00f0 en s\u00e9 ekki betur en a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 s\u00e9um alltaf a\u00f0 aka fram hj\u00e1 s\u00f6mu h\u00fasunum.<\/p>\n Ein konan \u00fearf mikla hj\u00e1lp og er frekar \u00feung. \u00c9g vil f\u00e1 a\u00f0 taka hana upp \u00far hj\u00f3last\u00f3lnum og Jakob s\u00fdnir m\u00e9r handt\u00f6kin \u00feolinm\u00f3\u00f0ur, \u00ed \u00feri\u00f0ja sinn \u00feann daginn.<\/p>\n -\u00c9g vil pr\u00f3fa sj\u00e1lf. \u00c9g er hr\u00e6dd um a\u00f0 missa hana og finnst \u00f6ruggara a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra \u00feetta me\u00f0 st\u00f3ran, sterkan karlmann vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0ina \u00e1 m\u00e9r en a\u00f0 gera \u00feetta \u00ed fyrsta sinn \u00feegar \u00e9g stend h\u00e9r ein,<\/em>\u00a0segi \u00e9g. \u00deetta virkar. Jakob hreinlega belgist \u00fat af karlmennsku og allt \u00ed einu er ekkert \u00fev\u00ed til fyrirst\u00f6\u00f0u a\u00f0 \u00e9g f\u00e1i a\u00f0 reyna sj\u00e1lf, enda \u00fe\u00f3tt hann hafi veri\u00f0 \u00ed \u00fev\u00edl\u00edku t\u00edmahraki 10 m\u00edn\u00fatum \u00e1\u00f0ur a\u00f0 hann treysti m\u00e9r ekki til a\u00f0 aka b\u00edl \u00ed vistg\u00f6tu. \u00c9g f\u00e6 m.a.s. a\u00f0 pr\u00f3fa fjarst\u00fdringuna \u00e1 sj\u00fakrar\u00faminu.<\/p>\n Eins satt og \u00fea\u00f0 er a\u00f0 karlma\u00f0ur sem kann \u00e1 gr\u00e6jurnar, \u00feekkir f\u00f3lki\u00f0 og getur bori\u00f0 f\u00edl, er \u00e1kve\u00f0inn \u00f6ryggisventill, \u00fe\u00e1 finnst m\u00e9r h\u00e1lf hall\u00e6rislegt a\u00f0 \u00feurfa a\u00f0 gera \u00fat \u00e1 bjargarleysi mitt til a\u00f0 komast inn \u00ed starfi\u00f0 en gott og vel ef \u00fea\u00f0 er \u00fea\u00f0 sem virkar \u00fe\u00e1 er \u00fea\u00f0 l\u00edka \u00fea\u00f0 sem vi\u00f0 notum. \u00c1 heimlei\u00f0inni blaka \u00e9g augnh\u00e1runum og set d\u00e1l\u00edtinn kv\u00ed\u00f0a \u00ed r\u00f6ddina \u00feegar \u00e9g muldra eitthva\u00f0 um a\u00f0 \u00e9g s\u00e9 hr\u00e6dd um a\u00f0 rata ekki nema \u00e9g hafi einhvern r\u00f3legan og \u00e1kve\u00f0inn til a\u00f0 lei\u00f0beina m\u00e9r. \u00deegar vi\u00f0 komum ni\u00f0ur \u00ed mi\u00f0st\u00f6\u00f0 aftur er Jakob \u00ed besta skapi og hefur \u00e1 or\u00f0i a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 best a\u00f0 \u00e9g reyni a\u00f0 aka \u00e1 morgun, hann \u00feurfi n\u00fa l\u00edklega a\u00f0 kenna m\u00e9r lei\u00f0ina.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Fyrsti dagur \u00e1 n\u00fdjum vinnusta\u00f0. \u00c9g \u00e6tla ekki a\u00f0 ver\u00f0a ellidau\u00f0 \u00ed heima\u00fej\u00f3nustu en starfi\u00f0 \u00fatheimtir l\u00e1gmarks samskipti vi\u00f0 yfirmenn og samstarfsf\u00f3lk og \u00e9g byrja ekki \u00ed sj\u00e1lfst\u00e6\u00f0um rekstri \u00ed \u00f3kunnugu umhverfi \u00feegar aleigan er 600 kr danskar og skuldahali … Halda \u00e1fram a\u00f0 lesa
\n-\u00deetta er mitt t\u00e6ki. \u00de\u00fa f\u00e6r\u00f0 \u00feitt eigi\u00f0 \u00feegar \u00fe\u00fa fer\u00f0 ein,\u00a0<\/em>segir Jakob \u00e1kve\u00f0inn. \u00d3kei, \u00e9g m\u00e1 semsagt ekki hafa t\u00e6ki\u00f0. Kannski er \u00fea\u00f0 mj\u00f6g pers\u00f3nulegt, svona eins og tannbursti e\u00f0a n\u00e6rbuxur.<\/p>\n