\u00c9g s\u00e9 eftir Pr\u00f3fessornum. Hef ekki \u00e1\u00f0ur kynnst manni sem \u00e1 jafn vel vi\u00f0 mig. \u00c9g held a\u00f0 st\u00e6rstu mist\u00f6k sem \u00e9g hef gert \u00ed l\u00edfinu hafi veri\u00f0 \u00feau a\u00f0 breg\u00f0ast svona neikv\u00e6tt vi\u00f0 \u00feessu 5 \u00e1ra plani hans. En \u00e9g r\u00e9\u00f0i ekki vi\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0. F\u00f3r bara \u00ed bakl\u00e1s.<\/p>\n
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„Vi\u00f0 g\u00e6tum gefi\u00f0 \u00feessu 5 \u00e1r og endursko\u00f0a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 svo“ sag\u00f0i hann. Hann haf\u00f0i \u00e1\u00f0ur tala\u00f0 um a\u00f0 hann yr\u00f0i \u00ed Glasgow \u00ed 5 \u00e1r og \u00feetta hlj\u00f3ma\u00f0i eins og hann vanta\u00f0i t\u00edmabundinn f\u00e9lagsskap \u00ed \u00fatleg\u00f0inni. \u00c9g k\u00f3lna\u00f0i.<\/p>\n
En kannski var \u00fea\u00f0 ekki \u00feannig. L\u00edklega var \u00fea\u00f0 ekki \u00feannig. Hann reyndi a\u00f0 \u00fatsk\u00fdra hva\u00f0 var a\u00f0 gerast innra me\u00f0 honum en \u00e9g gat ekki hlusta\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 eina sem komst a\u00f0 hj\u00e1 m\u00e9r var a\u00f0 hra\u00f0frysta allar tilfinningar sem \u00e9g haf\u00f0i veri\u00f0 a\u00f0 n\u00e6ra, til a\u00f0 for\u00f0a m\u00e9r fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 brotna endanlega ni\u00f0ur. Best g\u00e6ti \u00e9g tr\u00faa\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0an fyrir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hann fann ekki svona sterkar tilfinningar til m\u00edn, hafi veri\u00f0 hans innra varnarkerfi. \u00c9g var b\u00fain a\u00f0 hlaupa upp \u00ed fangi\u00f0 \u00e1 \u00f6\u00f0rum manni einu sinni og hann hefur sennilega n\u00f3gu miki\u00f0 inns\u00e6i til a\u00f0 finna a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 er beinl\u00ednis \u00e1tak fyrir mig a\u00f0 treysta einhverjum fyrir sj\u00e1lfri m\u00e9r svo sennilega hefur hann reikna\u00f0 me\u00f0 \u00feeim m\u00f6guleika a\u00f0 \u00e9g v\u00e6ri ekki sta\u00f0f\u00f6st \u00ed \u00feeirri fyrir\u00e6tlun a\u00f0 b\u00faa me\u00f0 honum og kannski ekki \u00feora\u00f0 a\u00f0 gefa sig allan.<\/p>\n
En \u00e9g var viss. Og \u00feessvegna \u00feoldi \u00e9g \u00fea\u00f0 ekki. Ekki \u00e1 \u00feessu augnabliki. \u00c9g vildi a\u00f0 \u00e9g g\u00e6ti fari\u00f0 til baka. Hlusta\u00f0 \u00e1 hann, kinka\u00f0 kolli og sagt, j\u00e1 \u00e9g skil, tilfinningar eru fl\u00f3knar, stefnum \u00e1 fimm \u00e1r til a\u00f0 byrja me\u00f0. En \u00e9g veit a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g fengi anna\u00f0 t\u00e6kif\u00e6ri til a\u00f0 takast \u00e1 vi\u00f0 sama atvik yr\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0 ekki \u00feannig. \u00c1 yfirbor\u00f0inu kannski. \u00c9g myndi kannski ekki sn\u00faa \u00feessari klakaskel beint a\u00f0 honum. En \u00e9g hef\u00f0i ekki \u00feora\u00f0 a\u00f0 elska hann. Ekki til fulls.<\/p>\n
\u00c9g vil ekki vera ein miki\u00f0 lengur og \u00e9g veit hva\u00f0 er a\u00f0. \u00c9g er haldin ranghugmynd var\u00f0andi karlmenn. \u00c9g tr\u00fai \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00feeir noti \u00e1starj\u00e1tningar og framt\u00ed\u00f0arpl\u00f6n til \u00feess a\u00f0 kaupa s\u00e9r dr\u00e1tt. \u00c9g veit, svona r\u00f6kr\u00e6nt a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 er ekki r\u00e9tt. Alveg eins og \u00e9g veit a\u00f0 s\u00f6lumennska er ekki \u00f3si\u00f0leg \u00ed e\u00f0li s\u00ednu, a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 er grundvallarmunur \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 bj\u00f3\u00f0a f\u00f3lki eitthva\u00f0 sem \u00fea\u00f0 hefur l\u00edklega \u00e1huga \u00e1 og a\u00f0 kippa framf\u00e6slum\u00f6guleikunum undan \u00f6reigum \u00ed \u00fer\u00f3unarr\u00edkjum til a\u00f0 reisa \u00e1lver. En tilfinningin um a\u00f0 \u00e9g s\u00e9 a\u00f0 sv\u00edkja og blekkja blossar upp \u00ed hvert sinn sem \u00e9g reyni a\u00f0 selja eitthva\u00f0. Og \u00e1 sama h\u00e1tt ver\u00f0 \u00e9g yfir\u00feyrmd af h\u00f6fnunarkennd \u00feegar karlma\u00f0ur sem \u00e9g er a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 treysta, s\u00fdnir einhver merki \u00feess a\u00f0 vera mannlegur.<\/p>\n
Mig vantar ekki karlmann. Mig vantar v\u00e9lmenni. Einhvern sem er h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 pr\u00f3grammera til a\u00f0 sannf\u00e6ra mig um a\u00f0 hva\u00f0 sem \u00e1 gangi, muni hann samt aldrei yfirgefa mig. Kannski er \u00e9g bara ofbo\u00f0slega skemmd. Komin \u00e1 fimmtugsaldur og \u00fe\u00e1 er ma\u00f0ur v\u00edst fullor\u00f0inn en kannski vantar mig f\u00f6\u00f0ur\u00edmynd frekar en eiginmann.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00c9g s\u00e9 eftir Pr\u00f3fessornum. Hef ekki \u00e1\u00f0ur kynnst manni sem \u00e1 jafn vel vi\u00f0 mig. \u00c9g held a\u00f0 st\u00e6rstu mist\u00f6k sem \u00e9g hef gert \u00ed l\u00edfinu hafi veri\u00f0 \u00feau a\u00f0 breg\u00f0ast svona neikv\u00e6tt vi\u00f0 \u00feessu 5 \u00e1ra plani hans. En … Halda \u00e1fram a\u00f0 lesa