L\u00edklega finnst flestu f\u00f3lki eitthva\u00f0 erfitt vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 horfast \u00ed augu vi\u00f0 hlutina eins og \u00feeir eru. \u00c9g skil ekki alveg hvers vegna. Sj\u00e1lfri hefur m\u00e9r fundist \u00fea\u00f0 mun einfaldara en a\u00f0 vera st\u00f6\u00f0ugt a\u00f0 lj\u00faga a\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfum s\u00e9r og \u00f6\u00f0rum. \u00dearf kannski sm\u00e1 kjark ef a\u00f0st\u00e6\u00f0ur manns eru ekki s\u00e9rlega bleikar en \u00feegar upp er sta\u00f0i\u00f0 er \u00fea\u00f0 au\u00f0veldara.<\/p>\n
Rikki hringdi \u00ed mig \u00ed h\u00e1deginu \u00ed g\u00e6r. Spur\u00f0i hvort \u00e9g v\u00e6ri b\u00fain a\u00f0 „jafna mig“. H\u00e9lt \u00fev\u00ed fram a\u00f0 \u00e9g hef\u00f0i veri\u00f0 \u00ed „einhverri f\u00fdlu“ \u00e1 sunnudaginn. Sem er fr\u00e1leitt.<\/p>\n
\u00cd alv\u00f6ru tala\u00f0, \u00e9g held a\u00f0 \u00feetta s\u00e9 \u00ed anna\u00f0 skipti sem hann hringir \u00ed mig. \u00dea\u00f0 er alltaf \u00e9g sem hef samnband vi\u00f0 hann. Og \u00fea\u00f0 er allt \u00ed lagi, \u00e9g er ekkert sp\u00e6ld yfir \u00fev\u00ed. \u00c9g v\u00e6ri \u00fea\u00f0 ef \u00e9g liti \u00e1 \u00feetta sem \u00e1starsamband e\u00f0a bara vin\u00e1ttu en \u00e9g geri \u00fea\u00f0 ekki. Allt \u00e1 s\u00ednar forsendur og \u00e9g tek \u00feeim eins og \u00fe\u00e6r eru. M\u00e9r finnst satt a\u00f0 segja \u00e1g\u00e6tt a\u00f0 geta stj\u00f3rna\u00f0 \u00feessu algerlega sj\u00e1lf.<\/p>\n
Hvernig getur ma\u00f0ur sem aldrei hefur s\u00fdnt m\u00e9r minnsta vott af pers\u00f3nulegum \u00e1huga, (\u00fea\u00f0 er ekki pers\u00f3nulegur \u00e1hugi \u00fe\u00f3tt hanns spyrji hva\u00f0 s\u00e9 a\u00f0 ef \u00e9g er \u00f3venju kuldaleg, \u00fea\u00f0 eru bara l\u00e6r\u00f0 vi\u00f0br\u00f6g\u00f0) sem aldrei hefur lesi\u00f0 eina l\u00ednu af \u00fev\u00ed sem \u00e9g skrifa (ef hann veit \u00fe\u00e1 a\u00f0 \u00e9g skrifa) sem veit n\u00e1nast ekkert um mig umfram nafn, aldur og n\u00f6fn 3ja fyrirt\u00e6kja sem \u00e9g hef unni\u00f0 hj\u00e1, sem f\u00e6r n\u00e1nast engin vi\u00f0br\u00f6g\u00f0 \u00feegar hann reynir a\u00f0 r\u00e6\u00f0a vi\u00f0 mig um b\u00edla, v\u00e9lsle\u00f0a, stangarst\u00f6kk e\u00f0a hva\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 er sem hann hefur \u00e1huga \u00e1, sem aldrei hefur komi\u00f0 inn \u00e1 heimili mitt, sem veit ekki hvort \u00e9g bor\u00f0a morgunmat, hva\u00f0a s\u00ed\u00f0u \u00e9g les fyrst \u00ed fr\u00e9ttabla\u00f0inu e\u00f0a hva\u00f0a tannkremstegund \u00e9g kaupi, sem hefur ekki enn\u00fe\u00e1 sagt m\u00e9r hva\u00f0 barni\u00f0 hans heitir e\u00f0a hva\u00f0 hann \u00e1 marga br\u00e6\u00f0ur (ekki svo a\u00f0 skilja a\u00f0 \u00e9g hafi spurt) sem hefur \u00ed raun engin pers\u00f3nuleg tengsl vi\u00f0 mig; hvernig getur hann m\u00f3\u00f0gast \u00feegar \u00e9g segi hreint \u00fat a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 skiptumst \u00e1 l\u00edkamsvessum? Og af hverju er ekki bara \u00ed lagi a\u00f0 skiptast \u00e1 l\u00edkamsvessum ef f\u00f3lk finnur s\u00e9r ekkert anna\u00f0 skemmtilegra til a\u00f0 gera saman?<\/p>\n
Einu sinni spur\u00f0i hann mig hva\u00f0 m\u00e9r \u00fe\u00e6tti gott. \u00c9g svara\u00f0i;
\n-Fullt alveg. T.d. s\u00fakkula\u00f0i og kj\u00f6ts\u00fapa og a\u00f0 koma inn \u00far kulda me\u00f0 frosnar hendur og einhver r\u00e9ttir m\u00e9r peysu e\u00f0a teppi og lagar kaffi handa m\u00e9r. Og a\u00f0 fara \u00ed sturtu eftir \u00f3\u00ferifavinnu og a\u00f0 vakna vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 einhver skr\u00ed\u00f0ur upp \u00ed til m\u00edn og snertingin vi\u00f0 f\u00edngert flauel og bara allskonar.
\n-\u00c9g meinti n\u00fa \u00ed r\u00faminu, sag\u00f0i hann.
\nSvari\u00f0 var sems\u00e9 „rangt“. \u00c9g \u00e1tti a\u00f0 svara einhverju um a\u00f0 sj\u00faga og sleikja og aftan fr\u00e1 e\u00f0a eitthva\u00f0 \u00ed \u00fe\u00e1 veruna.<\/p>\n
Seinna spur\u00f0i hann hva\u00f0 m\u00e9r \u00fe\u00e6tti „\u00ed alv\u00f6runni skemmtilegt“. \u00c9g skildi spurninguna r\u00e9tt en greip t\u00e6kif\u00e6ri\u00f0 til a\u00f0 ergja hann. Sag\u00f0i a\u00f0 \u00e9g hef\u00f0i t.d. gaman af a\u00f0 skrifa, fara \u00ed leikh\u00fas og spila skrabbl.\u00a0\u00dea\u00f0 var l\u00edka rangt svar. Hann var n\u00fdb\u00fainn a\u00f0 segja m\u00e9r fr\u00e1 einhverju sem hann sj\u00e1lfur vildi „innst inni“ og virkar satt a\u00f0 segja algerlega \u00far karakter. L\u00edklega langa\u00f0i hann til \u00feess a\u00f0 \u00e9g seg\u00f0i a\u00f0 mig langa\u00f0i „innst inni“ meira a\u00f0 l\u00e1ta binda fyrir augun \u00e1 m\u00e9r en a\u00f0 gl\u00e1pa \u00e1 hann e\u00f0a a\u00f0 „innst inni“ v\u00e6ri \u00e9g \u00e1kaflega feimin og blyg\u00f0unars\u00f6m.<\/p>\n
-Innst inni finnst m\u00e9r gaman a\u00f0 hlekkja fallegan heimskingja ni\u00f0ur \u00ed r\u00fami\u00f0, binda bleika slaufu utan um sprellann \u00e1 honum og l\u00e1ta mig svo hverfa, sag\u00f0i \u00e9g. \u00dea\u00f0 fannst honum fyndi\u00f0.<\/p>\n
\u00c9g hef aldrei skili\u00f0 \u00feetta „innst inni“ almennilega. Hva\u00f0 stoppar f\u00f3lk \u00ed \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 langa, vilja og vera \u00fea\u00f0 sem \u00fea\u00f0 er?<\/p>\n
\u00c9g veit ekki hvort \u00fea\u00f0 haf\u00f0i svosem neitt upp \u00e1 sig a\u00f0 reyna koma honum \u00ed skilning um a\u00f0 \u00e9g var ekki \u00ed neinni f\u00fdlu.
\n-Af hverju segir\u00f0u j\u00e1 \u00feegar \u00e9g vil f\u00e1 \u00feig \u00ed r\u00fami\u00f0 me\u00f0 m\u00e9r? sag\u00f0i \u00e9g.
\n-Bara, \u00e9g meina \u00e9g hef alveg gaman af \u00fev\u00ed.
\n-Og afhverju heldur\u00f0u a\u00f0 \u00e9g s\u00e9 a\u00f0 \u00feessu?
\n-Bara. \u00de\u00e9r finnst gott a\u00f0… \u00fe\u00fa veist…
\n-Hva\u00f0a fjandans \u00f3e\u00f0li er \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00feurfa a\u00f0 vera nakinn og \u00ed greddukasti til a\u00f0 geta kalla\u00f0 hlutina s\u00ednum r\u00e9ttu n\u00f6fnum. Seg\u00f0u „r\u00ed\u00f0a“ tepran \u00fe\u00edn.
\n-\u00d3kei, \u00fe\u00e9r finnst gott a\u00f0 r\u00ed\u00f0a, sag\u00f0i hann flissandi yfir eigin vandr\u00e6\u00f0agangi.
\n-Gott og vel, er einhver \u00f6nnur \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0a fyrir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 hittumst?
\n-Neeei, eiginlega ekki.
\n-Heldur\u00f0u a\u00f0 s\u00e9 l\u00edklegt a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 h\u00f6ldum \u00e1fram a\u00f0 hittast \u00feegar anna\u00f0 okkar eignast vin e\u00f0a vinkonu sem getur haldi\u00f0 uppi samr\u00e6\u00f0um um eitthva\u00f0 anna\u00f0 en kynl\u00edf og p\u00f3lit\u00edk?
\n-Nei l\u00edklega ekki.
\n-H\u00f6fum vi\u00f0 einhvernt\u00edma sofi\u00f0 \u00ed sama r\u00fami?
\n-Nei.
\n-Hva\u00f0 er \u00fea\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e1 sem gerist \u00e1 milli okkar \u00feegar vi\u00f0 hittumst?<\/p>\n
Hann hugsa\u00f0i sig um d\u00e1litla stund.
\n-\u00d3kei, \u00fea\u00f0 er r\u00e9tt. Vi\u00f0 skiptumst \u00e1 l\u00edkamsvessum, sag\u00f0i hann svo \u00ed i\u00f0runart\u00f3n.
\n-Og er eitthva\u00f0 rangt vi\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0?
\n-Nei. E\u00f0a m\u00e9r finnst \u00fea\u00f0 allavega allt \u00ed lagi.
\n-Finnst \u00fe\u00e9r \u00fea\u00f0 \u00ed alv\u00f6ru? \u00de\u00fa ert n\u00fa meiri sorabelgurinn. Og hva\u00f0 \u00e6tlar\u00f0u a\u00f0 gera \u00ed \u00fev\u00ed? Leita til s\u00e1lfr\u00e6\u00f0ings?
\n-Ha? Hva\u00f0 meinar\u00f0u?
\n-Ekkert sag\u00f0i \u00e9g. \u00de\u00fa getur hringt \u00ed mig ef \u00fe\u00fa ert enn\u00fe\u00e1 \u00e1 lausu \u00e1 mi\u00f0vikudaginn.<\/p>\n
Svo hringdi \u00e9g \u00ed Bruggarann og spur\u00f0i hvort hann vildi leika vi\u00f0 mig.
\nHann var upptekinn.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
L\u00edklega finnst flestu f\u00f3lki eitthva\u00f0 erfitt vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 horfast \u00ed augu vi\u00f0 hlutina eins og \u00feeir eru. \u00c9g skil ekki alveg hvers vegna. Sj\u00e1lfri hefur m\u00e9r fundist \u00fea\u00f0 mun einfaldara en a\u00f0 vera st\u00f6\u00f0ugt a\u00f0 lj\u00faga a\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfum s\u00e9r og … Halda \u00e1fram a\u00f0 lesa