![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.norn.is\/liljur-vallarins\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/27\/2013\/04\/420714_10151439905132099_1366267220_n.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\u00c9g fann myndina \u00e1 netinu, veit ekki hver t\u00f3k hana<\/strong><\/p>\n Birtan \u00ed m\u00e9r st\u00edgur fram.\u00a0Eigi skal gr\u00e1ta, heldur safna li\u00f0i og hefna,\u00a0<\/em>hv\u00e6sir h\u00fan upp \u00ed rau\u00f0flekk\u00f3tt andliti\u00f0 \u00e1 m\u00e9r. J\u00e1 v\u00e6ri \u00fea\u00f0 n\u00fa bara \u00ed bo\u00f0i. En vi\u00f0 erum ekki a\u00f0 tala um neinn venjulegan mor\u00f0ingja heldur s\u00fdk\u00f3patafrumu. Krabba. Eina markmi\u00f0 hans er a\u00f0 drepa, jafnvel \u00fe\u00f3tt hann drepi sj\u00e1lfan sig \u00ed lei\u00f0inni. Ma\u00f0ur \u00e6tti ekki a\u00f0 s\u00fdna \u00feann veikleika gagnvart sl\u00edkum vi\u00f0bj\u00f3\u00f0i a\u00f0 grenja, heldur gera eitthva\u00f0 \u00ed m\u00e1linu. E\u00f0a allavega syrgja me\u00f0 reisn.<\/p>\n \u00deeir reyndu svosem a\u00f0 gera eitthva\u00f0 \u00ed m\u00e1linu. \u00deeir \u00fer\u00e6ddu i hann sl\u00f6ngur, fylltu hann af f\u00fakkalyfjum og bl\u00f3\u00f0fl\u00f6gum og morf\u00edni og j\u00fa-neim-itt en skr\u00edmslafrumurnar bara endurn\u00fdju\u00f0ust \u00ed s\u00edfellu. \u00deeir d\u00e6ldu sj\u00faku bl\u00f3\u00f0inu \u00far \u00e6\u00f0um hans hva\u00f0 eftir anna\u00f0 og g\u00e1fu honum n\u00fdtt, hreint bl\u00f3\u00f0 \u00ed sta\u00f0inn en \u00f3ge\u00f0spaddan eitra\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0 l\u00edka. \u00deeir boru\u00f0u \u00ed l\u00e6rlegginn \u00e1 honum til a\u00f0 taka mergs\u00fdni. Og svo aftur. \u201cHann er or\u00f0inn eins og blokkflauta n\u00fana\u201d sag\u00f0i Ing\u00f3 og skellihl\u00f3. Honum fannst hv\u00edtbl\u00e6\u00f0i\u00f0 taka n\u00f3gu mikinn toll \u00fe\u00f3tt hann leyf\u00f0i \u00fev\u00ed ekki a\u00f0 svipta sig h\u00famornum l\u00edka. En h\u00famorinn beit ekki \u00e1 meini\u00f0 frekar en geislar og lyf. \u00cd 80% tilvika ber fyrsta chemome\u00f0fer\u00f0 \u00e1rangur en \u00ferj\u00e1r me\u00f0fer\u00f0ir bitu ekki \u00e1 Ing\u00f3.<\/p>\n \u00c9g vissi a\u00f0 hann var dau\u00f0vona svo andl\u00e1t hans hef\u00f0i ekki \u00e1tt a\u00f0 ver\u00f0a \u00e1fall en \u00e9g er samt \u00ed rusli og rei\u00f0 til skiptis. \u00dea\u00f0 er rosalega fj\u00f3rt\u00e1nhundru\u00f0 og eitthva\u00f0 en \u00e9g \u00feoli ekki \u00feessa uppgjafartilfinningu. Tv\u00e6r litlar telpur misstu f\u00f6\u00f0ur sinn. \u00dea\u00f0 er bara ekkert r\u00e9ttl\u00e1tt og m\u00e9r finnst \u00e9g \u00feurfa a\u00f0 gera eitthva\u00f0 \u00ed \u00fev\u00ed. L\u00e1ta Dau\u00f0ann vita a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 s\u00e6ttum okkur ekki vi\u00f0 svona framkomu. En Dau\u00f0anum er jafn sk\u00edtsama um rei\u00f0ina \u00ed m\u00e9r og h\u00famorinn \u00ed Ing\u00f3. Hann veit a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 getum ekkert gert.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Myndin er eftir Ing\u00f3<\/strong><\/p>\n Uppgj\u00f6fin sem fylgir sorginni sviptir mann allri reisn og \u00fea\u00f0 gerir mig enn\u00fe\u00e1 brj\u00e1la\u00f0ri a\u00f0 horfa upp \u00e1 sj\u00e1lfa mig \u00ed svo aumingjalegu \u00e1standi en \u00fev\u00ed mi\u00f0ur er heldur ekki s\u00e9rlega k\u00fal a\u00f0 vera brj\u00e1la\u00f0ur \u00feegar ma\u00f0ur finnur engan s\u00f6kud\u00f3lg. \u201c\u00de\u00e1 b\u00fdr\u00f0u bara til s\u00f6kud\u00f3lg\u201d segir Anna. \u201c\u00cd n\u00e6sta almenningsgar\u00f0i b\u00fdr illur \u00edkorni sem ber \u00e1byrg\u00f0 \u00e1 \u00feessu \u00f6llu saman. \u00de\u00fa ver\u00f0ur a\u00f0 finna hann og murka \u00far honum l\u00edfi\u00f0. Og \u00fe\u00e1 hverfur allt hv\u00edtbl\u00e6\u00f0i \u00far heiminum og r\u00e9ttl\u00e6ti\u00f0 sigrar og \u00fe\u00fa heldur andlitinu og allt ver\u00f0ur fullkomi\u00f0.\u201d Eitt andartak getur ma\u00f0ur hlegi\u00f0 a\u00f0 kj\u00e1naskapnum \u00ed sj\u00e1lfum s\u00e9r en h\u00famor l\u00e6knar ekki uppgj\u00f6fina, ekki frekar en krabbann.<\/p>\n Rei\u00f0in tilgangslaus, sorgin tilgangslaus. Hvorugt meikar sens og hlutirnir eiga a\u00f0 meika sens svo hvernig \u00e1 manni \u00fe\u00e1 a\u00f0 l\u00ed\u00f0a? Hann vir\u00f0ist svo n\u00e1l\u00e6gur \u00e1 facebook, skype, gmail. Deyr f\u00e9, deyja fr\u00e6ndur en rafr\u00e6n tilvist aldrei deyr\u2026 Hann er \u00fearna enn\u00fe\u00e1, \u00f3virkur a\u00f0 v\u00edsu, en \u00fearna er hann eins og ekkert hafi \u00ed skorist.\u00a0 M\u00e9r finnst skr\u00fdti\u00f0 a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 hann \u00ed spjallglugganum, sj\u00e1 s\u00ed\u00f0asta\u00a0 samtali\u00f0 okkar og vita a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g sendi honum skilabo\u00f0 mun hann aldrei sj\u00e1 \u00feau.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Vi\u00f0 t\u00f6lu\u00f0um ekkert saman s\u00ed\u00f0ustu \u00ferj\u00e1 dagana. \u00c9g vissi a\u00f0 hann gat d\u00e1i\u00f0 hven\u00e6r sem var og hef\u00f0i \u00e1tt a\u00f0 hafa r\u00e6nu \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 nota hvert einasta t\u00e6kif\u00e6ri til a\u00f0 tala vi\u00f0 hann. Finnst \u00e9g eiga eitthva\u00f0 \u00f3sagt \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g viti svosem ekki hva\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 \u00e6tti eiginlega a\u00f0 vera. Bless? Fokk nei. Vi\u00f0 h\u00e6ttum a\u00f0 kve\u00f0jast \u00feegar sj\u00fakd\u00f3murinn greindist. \u00c9g held a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 algengt a\u00f0 \u00edmynda s\u00e9r a\u00f0 manni li\u00f0i betur ef ma\u00f0ur fengi bara eina samverustund til vi\u00f0b\u00f3tar. Eitt t\u00e6kif\u00e6ri til a\u00f0 segja eitthva\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 er sj\u00e1lfsagt \u00feessvegna sem f\u00f3lk setur skilabo\u00f0 \u00e1 vegginn hans \u00e1 facebook, einhverskonar tilraun til a\u00f0 eiga\u00a0me\u00f0 honum eitt augnablik enn. L\u00edklega tr\u00faa einhverjir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hann geti s\u00e9\u00f0 kve\u00f0jurnar. \u00c9g skil \u00fea\u00f0 alveg en \u00e9g tr\u00fai \u00fev\u00ed ekki sj\u00e1lf og \u00feessvegna er \u00fea\u00f0 ekki nein lausn fyrir mig.<\/p>\n Mig langar a\u00f0 hitta hann einu sinni enn. Tala vi\u00f0 hann einu sinni enn. Segja enn einu sinni \u201c\u00fe\u00fa ert fr\u00e1b\u00e6r Ing\u00f3\u201d og heyra hann segja enn einu sinni \u201c\u00e9g fer bara framhj\u00e1 m\u00e9r\u201d. En \u00e9g veit a\u00f0 ein lokastund myndi ekki s\u00e6tta mig vi\u00f0 neitt. \u00c9g vil f\u00e1 margar, margar stundir me\u00f0 honum, vita af honum \u00e1 Hringbrautinni og \u00e1 Skype \u00ed m\u00f6rg \u00e1r, \u00e1ratugi. R\u00f6lta me\u00f0 honum \u00fat \u201ctil a\u00f0 lofa Betu a\u00f0 pissa\u201d \u00feegar hann langar \u00ed s\u00edgarettu, hlusta \u00e1 hann segja s\u00f6gur fr\u00e1 v\u00edkingah\u00e1t\u00ed\u00f0um og plana me\u00f0 honum \u00f6ll verkefnin sem vi\u00f0 \u00e6tlu\u00f0um a\u00f0 vinna saman en \u00feurftum alltaf a\u00f0 fresta vegna eldgosa e\u00f0a annarra st\u00f3rvi\u00f0bur\u00f0a. \u201cVi\u00f0 dr\u00edfum \u00ed \u00feessu \u00ed haust\u201d sag\u00f0i hann. E\u00f0a \u201ck\u00fdlum \u00e1 \u00feetta \u00ed vor\u201d. En \u00fea\u00f0 ver\u00f0ur ekkert haust e\u00f0a vor h\u00e9\u00f0an af og ekki ein stutt lokastund heldur. Mig langar a\u00f0 segja bless og gangi \u00fe\u00e9r vel en hann \u00fearfnast ekki velgengni framar og til hvers a\u00f0 kve\u00f0ja einhvern sem er \u00feegar farinn? E\u00f0a eiginlega ekki farinn heldur li\u00f0inn. Game over. \u00dea\u00f0 meikar ekki sens a\u00f0 kve\u00f0ja einhvern sem f\u00e6r aldrei kve\u00f0juna. Og hlutirnir \u00feurfa a\u00f0 meika sens.<\/p>\n Sorgin b\u00fd\u00f0ur ekki upp \u00e1 neina reisn. \u00dea\u00f0 er ekkert h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 gera \u00ed m\u00e1linu. Enginn\u00a0s\u00f6kud\u00f3lgur sem h\u00e6gt er a\u00f0 hella s\u00e9r yfir. Enginn illur \u00edkorni \u00ed Kelvingrove Park e\u00f0a Hlj\u00f3msk\u00e1lagar\u00f0inum sem h\u00e6gt er a\u00f0 drepa. Og \u00feegar rei\u00f0in er tilgangslaus og ma\u00f0ur getur samt ekki s\u00e6tt sig vi\u00f0 dau\u00f0ann, \u00fe\u00e1 bara grenjar ma\u00f0ur. \u00dea\u00f0 er ekkert fj\u00f3rt\u00e1nhundru\u00f0 og eitthva\u00f0 og sannarlega engin reisn yfir manni \u00ed \u00fev\u00ed \u00e1standi.<\/p>\n En kannski er ma\u00f0ur jafn ofurseldur sorginni og dau\u00f0anum. Hvorki h\u00famor n\u00e9 r\u00f6k vinna \u00e1 henni. Og ekki s\u00e9ns \u00ed helv\u00edti a\u00f0 h\u00fan muni nokkurnt\u00edma l\u00e1ta s\u00e9r segjast.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.norn.is\/liljur-vallarins\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/27\/2013\/04\/Ingo.jpg\")
<\/p>\n