{"id":2106,"date":"2013-12-09T15:08:04","date_gmt":"2013-12-09T15:08:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.norn.is\/kyndillinn\/?p=2106"},"modified":"2017-09-11T11:09:27","modified_gmt":"2017-09-11T11:09:27","slug":"thegar-mamma-man-ekki-hverjum-hun-hefur-sofid-hja-um-rettarstodu-rangfedradra-og-ofedradra-barna","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.norn.is\/kyndillinn\/thegar-mamma-man-ekki-hverjum-hun-hefur-sofid-hja-um-rettarstodu-rangfedradra-og-ofedradra-barna\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00deegar mamma man ekki hverjum h\u00fan hefur sofi\u00f0 hj\u00e1 – um r\u00e9ttarst\u00f6\u00f0u rangfe\u00f0ra\u00f0ra og \u00f3fe\u00f0ra\u00f0ra barna"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"mamma-man-ekki\"<\/a><\/h2>\n

Samkv\u00e6mt \u00edslenskum l\u00f6gum \u00e1 barn r\u00e9tt \u00e1 a\u00f0 \u00feekkja b\u00e1\u00f0a foreldra s\u00edna. \u00dea\u00f0 er a\u00f0 v\u00edsu ekki einfalt a\u00f0 framfylgja \u00feeim l\u00f6gum ef foreldri\u00f0 vill ekkert me\u00f0 barni\u00f0 hafa en barni\u00f0 \u00e6tti \u00fe\u00f3, samkv\u00e6mt anda laganna, \u00ed \u00fea\u00f0 minnsta a\u00f0 f\u00e1 a\u00f0 vita hverjir foreldrarnir eru. \u00c6ttleidd b\u00f6rn eiga lagalegan r\u00e9tt \u00e1 a\u00f0 f\u00e1 uppl\u00fdsingar um kynforeldra s\u00edna \u00feegar \u00feau n\u00e1 18 \u00e1ra aldri en kj\u00f6rforeldrum ber auk \u00feess a\u00f0 uppl\u00fdsa \u00feau um a\u00f0 \u00feau s\u00e9u \u00e6ttleidd, helst ekki s\u00ed\u00f0ar en um 6 \u00e1ra aldur.<\/p>\n

En hva\u00f0 ef barni\u00f0 er geti\u00f0 me\u00f0 gjafas\u00e6\u00f0i? Samkv\u00e6mt l\u00f6gum er ekki h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 d\u00e6ma mann f\u00f6\u00f0ur barns ef hann gefur s\u00e6\u00f0i til t\u00e6knifrj\u00f3vgunar \u00e1 annarri konu en sinni samb\u00fa\u00f0arkonu. Hugmyndin er v\u00e6ntanlega s\u00fa a\u00f0 hann eigi ekki a\u00f0 \u00feurfa a\u00f0 sinna skyldum gagnvart barninu. Au\u00f0vita\u00f0 v\u00e6ri h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 tryggja barninu r\u00e9tt til uppl\u00fdsinga \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 leggja s\u00e6\u00f0isgjafa skyldur \u00e1 her\u00f0ar, og ef s\u00e6\u00f0isgjafi k\u00fds \u00fea\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfur getur barni\u00f0 fengi\u00f0 uppl\u00fdsingar um hann vi\u00f0 18 \u00e1ra aldur, en l\u00f6gin vir\u00f0ast ekki gera r\u00e1\u00f0 fyrir r\u00e9tti f\u00f3lks til a\u00f0 vita um uppruna sinn ef s\u00e6\u00f0isgjafi k\u00fds nafnleynd.<\/p>\n

Einnig sk\u00fdtur sk\u00f6kku vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 er beinl\u00ednis l\u00f6glegt a\u00f0 rangfe\u00f0ra barn og vi\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 missir l\u00edffa\u00f0ir barnsins, og a\u00f0rir sem telja sig koma til greina sem f\u00f6\u00f0ur \u00feess, r\u00e9tt til \u00feess a\u00f0 fara \u00ed barnsfa\u00f0ernism\u00e1l. Ef kona kennir barni\u00f0 \u00f6\u00f0rum manni en kynf\u00f6\u00f0ur \u00feess, og s\u00e1 ma\u00f0ur gengst vi\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed, er l\u00edffa\u00f0ir barnsins einfaldlega r\u00e9ttlaus. Barni\u00f0 getur sj\u00e1lft h\u00f6f\u00f0a\u00f0 v\u00e9fengingarm\u00e1l en \u00fea\u00f0 gerist ekki fyrr en eftir a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 hefur alist upp \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 kynnast l\u00edff\u00f6\u00f0ur s\u00ednum.<\/p>\n

F\u00f3lk sem telur sig rangfe\u00f0ra\u00f0 getur h\u00f6f\u00f0a\u00f0 v\u00e9fengingarm\u00e1l en \u00fea\u00f0 tryggir manni \u00fe\u00f3 a\u00f0eins r\u00e9tt til \u00feess a\u00f0 vita hver er EKKI fa\u00f0irinn. Engin lei\u00f0 vir\u00f0ist hins vegar f\u00e6r til \u00feess a\u00f0 framfylgja r\u00e9tti barns til a\u00f0 \u00feekkja f\u00f6\u00f0ur sinn ef m\u00f3\u00f0ir gefur ekki upp fa\u00f0erni. M\u00f3\u00f0ur ber a\u00f0 v\u00edsu l\u00f6gum samkv\u00e6mt a\u00f0 fe\u00f0ra barn sitt en ekki er a\u00f0 finna nein vi\u00f0url\u00f6g vi\u00f0 broti gegn \u00feeim l\u00f6gum. \u00deegar barnal\u00f6gin eru sko\u00f0u\u00f0 \u00ed heild vir\u00f0ist \u00fev\u00ed greinin um r\u00e9tt barna til a\u00f0 \u00feekkja foreldra s\u00edna n\u00e1nast marklaus.<\/p>\n

Vi\u00f0m\u00e6landi minn er kona \u00e1 fimmtugsaldri, vi\u00f0 skulum kalla hana Sigr\u00fanu. H\u00fan hefur aldrei kynnst f\u00f6\u00f0ur s\u00ednum og m\u00f3\u00f0ir hennar hefur alltaf neita\u00f0 a\u00f0 fe\u00f0ra hana og br\u00e6\u00f0ur hennar. Sigr\u00fan vill ekki koma fram undir nafni svo n\u00f6fnum hefur veri\u00f0 breytt. A\u00f0 \u00f6\u00f0ru leyti er sagan s\u00f6nn.<\/p>\n

Allir h\u00e9ldu a\u00f0 Kristj\u00e1n v\u00e6ri pabbinn<\/h2>\n

Eva: \u00deegar \u00fe\u00fa f\u00e6ddist t\u00ed\u00f0ka\u00f0ist ekki a\u00f0 kenna b\u00f6rn vi\u00f0 m\u00e6\u00f0ur. Hvernig varst \u00fe\u00fa skr\u00e1\u00f0 \u00ed \u00fej\u00f3\u00f0skr\u00e1?<\/p>\n

Sigr\u00fan: \u00c9g var skr\u00e1\u00f0 Kristj\u00e1nsd\u00f3ttir en m\u00f3\u00f0ir m\u00edn neita\u00f0i a\u00f0 gefa upp f\u00f6\u00f0urnafn mannsins. H\u00fan f\u00e9kkst heldur aldrei til \u00feess a\u00f0 gefa m\u00e9r sta\u00f0festingu \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed hver hann var. \u00c9g taldi mig \u00fe\u00f3 vita \u00fea\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed \u00ed b\u00e6num \u00fear sem \u00e9g \u00f3lst upp bj\u00f3 ma\u00f0ur sem h\u00e9t Kristj\u00e1n. \u00dea\u00f0 var altala\u00f0 a\u00f0 hann og m\u00f3\u00f0ir m\u00edn hef\u00f0u \u00e1tt einhver kynni \u00e1\u00f0ur en \u00e9g f\u00e6ddist og allir t\u00f6ldu v\u00edst a\u00f0 hann v\u00e6ri fa\u00f0ir minn.<\/p>\n

Eva: Umgekkstu hann \u00fe\u00e1 sem \u00f3kunnugan mann?<\/p>\n

Sigr\u00fan: \u00c9g umgekkst hann ekki en \u00e9g umgekkst f\u00f3lki\u00f0 hans. \u00dea\u00f0 var samgangur \u00e1 milli m\u00f6mmu og fj\u00f6lskyldu Kristj\u00e1ns og \u00feau t\u00f6lu\u00f0u alltaf vi\u00f0 mig eins og \u00e9g v\u00e6ri ein af fr\u00e6nkunum. \u00c9g man a\u00f0 \u00feau t\u00f6lu\u00f0u um a\u00f0 \u00e9g v\u00e6ri l\u00edk honum \u00ed \u00fatliti. \u00c9g f\u00e9kk meira a\u00f0 segja gjafir fr\u00e1 f\u00f3lkinu hans og var bo\u00f0in \u00ed fj\u00f6lskyldubo\u00f0 og fer\u00f0al\u00f6g. En karlinn tala\u00f0i aldrei vi\u00f0 mig, \u00e9g s\u00e1 hann bara \u00e1lengdar.<\/p>\n

Eva: Hva\u00f0a \u00e1hrif haf\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0 \u00e1 \u00feig a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 hann en f\u00e1 enga athygli fr\u00e1 honum? F\u00e9kkstu h\u00f6fnunarkennd?<\/p>\n

Sigr\u00fan: Nei, ekki beinl\u00ednis. Hann \u00e1tti fj\u00f6lskyldu og \u00e9g \u00f3lst upp vi\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 hann tilheyr\u00f0i ekki m\u00ednu l\u00edfi. \u00c9g var ekki lei\u00f0 yfir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hann sinnti m\u00e9r ekki en \u00e9g var forvitin um hann og fannst \u00e6gilega spennandi a\u00f0 rekast \u00e1 hann. \u00c9g var \u00fea\u00f0 forvitin a\u00f0 \u00e9g hringdi nokkrum sinnum \u00ed hann \u00feegar \u00e9g var 8 e\u00f0a 9 \u00e1ra. Vinkona m\u00edn var me\u00f0 m\u00e9r og stappa\u00f0i \u00ed mig st\u00e1linu og okkur lei\u00f0 eins og vi\u00f0 v\u00e6rum a\u00f0 gera eitthvert \u00f3gurlegt prakkarastrik.<\/p>\n

Eva: Hvernig t\u00f3k hann \u00fe\u00e9r?<\/p>\n

Sigr\u00fan: \u00c9g spur\u00f0i hann fyrst hvort hann \u00feekkti m\u00f6mmu m\u00edna og hann sag\u00f0ist vita hver h\u00fan v\u00e6ri. \u00de\u00e1 spur\u00f0i \u00e9g hvort hann v\u00e6ri kannski pabbi minn en hann \u00fevert\u00f3k fyrir \u00fea\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 var svona p\u00ednul\u00edti\u00f0 s\u00e1rt a\u00f0 hann vildi ekki gangast vi\u00f0 m\u00e9r en a\u00f0 \u00f6\u00f0ru leyti fann \u00e9g ekki til sl\u00e6mra tilfinninga til hans. Mig langa\u00f0i samt alltaf a\u00f0 kynnast honum og pr\u00f3fa\u00f0i a\u00f0 hringja aftur en f\u00e9kk s\u00f6mu sv\u00f6r. \u00c9g hringdi l\u00edka \u00ed hann \u00ed eitt skipti \u00feegar \u00e9g var \u00e1 unglingsaldri og svo f\u00e9kk \u00e9g einu sinni \u00fe\u00e1 vondu hugmynd \u00feegar \u00e9g var \u00e1 djamminu har\u00f0fullor\u00f0in a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri einmitt r\u00e9tti t\u00edminn til a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 n\u00e1 sambandi vi\u00f0 hann. \u00c9g s\u00e1 eftir \u00fev\u00ed daginn eftir, en \u00e9g hef\u00f0i n\u00fa l\u00edklega ekki hringt \u00ed hann ef \u00feetta hef\u00f0i ekki legi\u00f0 \u00feungt \u00e1 m\u00e9r.<\/p>\n

Eva: \u00deegar \u00fe\u00fa varst barn var enn\u00fe\u00e1 d\u00e1l\u00edti\u00f0 tab\u00fa a\u00f0 alast upp hj\u00e1 einst\u00e6\u00f0ri m\u00f3\u00f0ur. L\u00e9tu sk\u00f3lasystkini \u00fe\u00edn \u00ed lj\u00f3s undrun yfir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa \u00e6ttir ekki f\u00f6\u00f0ur?<\/p>\n

Sigr\u00fan: J\u00e1, j\u00e1. \u00c9g var eina barni\u00f0 \u00ed bekknum sem \u00e1tti ekki pabba og \u00fea\u00f0 var \u00f3\u00fe\u00e6gilegt. Foreldrar bestu vinkonu minnar voru fr\u00e1skildir en h\u00fan umgekkst \u00fe\u00f3 allavega b\u00e1\u00f0a foreldra s\u00edna.<\/p>\n

Vi\u00f0 erum \u00ferj\u00fa systkinin og \u00f6ll \u00f3fe\u00f0ru\u00f0 og \u00fea\u00f0 ger\u00f0i st\u00f6\u00f0una ekki sk\u00e1rri. M\u00e9r fannst vandr\u00e6\u00f0alegt a\u00f0 geta ekki gefi\u00f0 neinar sk\u00fdringar svo \u00e9g laug upp alls konar s\u00f6gum. Sag\u00f0ist eiga pabba \u00ed \u00fatl\u00f6ndum. \u00c9g ger\u00f0i hann b\u00e6\u00f0i a\u00f0 kvikmyndastj\u00f6rnu og hermanni. Br\u00f3\u00f0ir minn, sem er m\u00f6rgum \u00e1rum yngri, sag\u00f0i svipa\u00f0ar s\u00f6gur.<\/p>\n

Eva: En br\u00e6\u00f0ur \u00fe\u00ednir, h\u00f6f\u00f0u \u00feeir l\u00edka einhvern pata af \u00fev\u00ed hverjir fe\u00f0ur \u00feeirra v\u00e6ru?<\/p>\n

Sigr\u00fan: \u00dea\u00f0 ganga alltaf s\u00f6gur \u00ed litlum samf\u00e9l\u00f6gum og \u00fea\u00f0 komu n\u00e1tt\u00farlega upp getg\u00e1tur um \u00fea\u00f0 hva\u00f0a menn k\u00e6mu til greina sem fe\u00f0ur br\u00e6\u00f0ra minna en \u00feeir fengu aldrei svona sterka sta\u00f0festingu eins og \u00e9g f\u00e9kk fr\u00e1 f\u00f3lkinu hans Kristj\u00e1ns.<\/p>\n

F\u00e9kk reikning vegna fa\u00f0ernism\u00e1lsins<\/h2>\n

Eva: Reyndir\u00f0u a\u00f0 f\u00e1 m\u00f6mmu \u00fe\u00edna til a\u00f0 sta\u00f0festa fa\u00f0erni \u00feitt e\u00f0a segja \u00fe\u00e9r hverjir fe\u00f0ur br\u00e6\u00f0ra \u00feinna v\u00e6ru?<\/p>\n

Sigr\u00fan: J\u00e1, j\u00e1, \u00e9g reyndi \u00fea\u00f0 en \u00feetta var bara ekkert til umr\u00e6\u00f0u. Einu sinni man \u00e9g a\u00f0 \u00e9g spur\u00f0i hvort Kristj\u00e1n v\u00e6ri ekki pabbi minn og \u00fe\u00e1 sag\u00f0i h\u00fan \u201e\u00e6tli \u00fea\u00f0 ekki\u201c. \u00deegar \u00e9g var 12 \u00e1ra f\u00f3r h\u00fan loksins fram \u00e1 DNA-ranns\u00f3kn, l\u00edklega eftir \u00fer\u00fdsting fr\u00e1 fj\u00f6lskyldunni. En Kristj\u00e1n neita\u00f0i a\u00f0 m\u00e6ta og h\u00fan ger\u00f0i ekkert meira \u00ed \u00fev\u00ed.<\/p>\n

Eva: Hefur\u00f0u einhverja hugmynd um \u00fea\u00f0 hvers vegna h\u00fan l\u00fdsti hann ekki f\u00f6\u00f0ur og hvers vegna h\u00fan gekk ekki har\u00f0ar \u00e1 eftir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hann yr\u00f0i pr\u00f3fa\u00f0ur?<\/p>\n

Sigr\u00fan: M\u00e9r dettur helst \u00ed hug a\u00f0 h\u00fan hafi bara alls ekki veri\u00f0 viss og liti\u00f0 \u00e1 \u00fea\u00f0 sem \u00f3\u00fearfa \u00f3\u00fe\u00e6gindi. Kristj\u00e1n \u00e1tti konu og kannski hefur \u00fea\u00f0 l\u00edka spila\u00f0 inn \u00ed. En \u00e9g var aldrei s\u00e1tt vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 vita \u00feetta ekki fyrir v\u00edst og \u00e1 \u00feessu \u00e1ri f\u00f3r \u00e9g sj\u00e1lf fram \u00e1 DNA-ranns\u00f3kn. Ni\u00f0ursta\u00f0an var s\u00fa a\u00f0 hann v\u00e6ri ekki fa\u00f0ir minn. Hann \u00fer\u00e6tti n\u00e1tt\u00farlega alltaf fyrir mig en hann hl\u00fdtur samt a\u00f0 hafa tali\u00f0 l\u00edkur \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hann \u00e6tti mig fyrst hann m\u00e6tti ekki \u00ed \u00feetta DNA-pr\u00f3f fyrir r\u00famum 30 \u00e1rum. \u00c9g meina, hverju haf\u00f0i hann a\u00f0 tapa ef hann var svona viss?<\/p>\n

Eva: Hvernig gengur \u00feetta fyrir sig? \u00deurftir\u00f0u a\u00f0 stefna honum og var einhver kostna\u00f0ur vi\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0?<\/p>\n

Sigr\u00fan: J\u00e1, \u00e9g \u00feurfti a\u00f0 stefna honum. \u00c9g f\u00e9kk gjafs\u00f3kn og taldi \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00feyrfti ekki a\u00f0 borga fyrir \u00feetta en vegna \u00feess a\u00f0 pr\u00f3fi\u00f0 var neikv\u00e6tt \u00fearf \u00e9g a\u00f0 borga m\u00e1lskostna\u00f0inn hans. \u00c9g \u00fearf ekki a\u00f0 borga fa\u00f0ernispr\u00f3fi\u00f0, DNA-pr\u00f3f eru mj\u00f6g d\u00fdr og ef pr\u00f3fi\u00f0 hef\u00f0i veri\u00f0 j\u00e1kv\u00e6tt hef\u00f0i hann veri\u00f0 rukka\u00f0ur fyrir \u00fea\u00f0, en \u00fear sem hann er ekki fa\u00f0ir minn fellur s\u00e1 kostna\u00f0ur \u00e1 r\u00edki\u00f0. \u00c9g \u00fearf heldur ekki a\u00f0 borga m\u00ednum l\u00f6gfr\u00e6\u00f0ingi \u00fev\u00ed \u00e9g f\u00e9kk gjafs\u00f3kn. En \u00e9g \u00fearf a\u00f0 borga l\u00f6gfr\u00e6\u00f0ikostna\u00f0inn hans og \u00fea\u00f0 var sta\u00f0fest \u00ed H\u00e6star\u00e9tti. \u00deetta eru 200 \u00fe\u00fasund kr\u00f3nur sem \u00e9g skulda fyrir \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 vilja f\u00e1 a\u00f0 vita hver fa\u00f0ir minn er. M\u00e9r finnst \u00fea\u00f0 ekki sanngjarnt.<\/p>\n

Eva: L\u00f6gum samkv\u00e6mt eiga b\u00f6rn r\u00e9tt \u00e1 a\u00f0 \u00feekkja foreldra s\u00edna og \u00e9g hef\u00f0i haldi\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri \u00e1byrg\u00f0 stj\u00f3rnvalda a\u00f0 tryggja \u00feann r\u00e9tt? Hefur\u00f0u spurt l\u00f6gfr\u00e6\u00f0ing \u00e1lits \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed hvernig beri a\u00f0 t\u00falka l\u00f6gin?<\/p>\n

Sigr\u00fan: J\u00e1. H\u00fan er mj\u00f6g \u00f3s\u00e1tt vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00feurfi a\u00f0 borga \u00feetta og r\u00e1\u00f0lag\u00f0i m\u00e9r a\u00f0 v\u00edsa \u00feessu til mannr\u00e9ttindad\u00f3mst\u00f3lsins \u00ed Haag. \u00deetta er fari\u00f0 \u00feanga\u00f0 en \u00fea\u00f0 getur teki\u00f0 \u00e1r og daga a\u00f0 f\u00e1 ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0u. \u00c9g \u00e1kva\u00f0 samt a\u00f0 gera \u00fea\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed m\u00e9r finnst ekkert r\u00e9ttl\u00e6ti \u00ed \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 f\u00e1 gjafs\u00f3kn og sitja samt uppi me\u00f0 kostna\u00f0. \u00c9g haf\u00f0i enga a\u00f0ra m\u00f6guleika \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 komast a\u00f0 m\u00ednu fa\u00f0erni en a\u00f0 stefna honum og \u00e9g haf\u00f0i g\u00f3\u00f0a \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0u til \u00feess a\u00f0 telja hann f\u00f6\u00f0urinn \u00fear sem allir sem til \u00feekktu t\u00f6ldu hann eiga mig.<\/p>\n

Mamma segist ekki muna neitt<\/h2>\n

Eva: Hvernig lei\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e9r eftir a\u00f0 hafa tr\u00faa\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed allt \u00feitt l\u00edf a\u00f0 hann v\u00e6ri fa\u00f0ir \u00feinn og f\u00e1 svo neikv\u00e6\u00f0a ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0u?<\/p>\n

Sigr\u00fan: \u00c9g er eiginlega enn\u00fe\u00e1 a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 \u00e1tta mig \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed. \u00c9g var sannf\u00e6r\u00f0 um a\u00f0 hann \u00e6tti mig og taldi mig m.a.s. sj\u00e1 \u00e6ttarsvip me\u00f0 b\u00f6rnunum m\u00ednum og b\u00f6rnum sem \u00e9g taldi vera m\u00edn fr\u00e6ndsystkin. M\u00e9r finnst mj\u00f6g \u00f3\u00fe\u00e6gilegt a\u00f0 vita ekkert hver minn uppruni er og n\u00fa velti \u00e9g \u00fev\u00ed fyrir m\u00e9r hver annar komi til greina og hvort \u00e9g \u00feekki kannski einhverja n\u00e1na \u00e6ttingja \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 vita af \u00fev\u00ed. \u00dea\u00f0 er \u00ed raun n\u00fdtt fyrir mig en br\u00e6\u00f0ur m\u00ednir hafa lifa\u00f0 me\u00f0 \u00feessum spurningum allt sitt l\u00edf. Undanfari\u00f0 hef \u00e9g sta\u00f0i\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfa mig a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 leita a\u00f0 tengslum n\u00e1nast hvar sem er. Um daginn f\u00e9kk \u00e9g t.d. vinarbo\u00f0 \u00e1 facebook fr\u00e1 manni sem \u00e9g kanna\u00f0ist ekkert vi\u00f0 og \u00feegar \u00e9g s\u00e1 a\u00f0 hann var \u00e1 aldur vi\u00f0 m\u00f3\u00f0ur m\u00edna t\u00f3k hjarta\u00f0 \u00ed m\u00e9r kipp og \u00fea\u00f0 fyrsta sem m\u00e9r datt \u00ed hug var a\u00f0 hann v\u00e6ri pabbi minn, \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g hef\u00f0i au\u00f0vita\u00f0 enga \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0u til a\u00f0 halda \u00fea\u00f0. \u00deessi leit a\u00f0 upprunanum er einhvern veginn alltaf \u00ed bakgrunni hj\u00e1 m\u00e9r.<\/p>\n

Eva: Gaf mamma \u00fe\u00edn eitthva\u00f0 \u00fat \u00e1 \u00feessa ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0u? Hefur h\u00fan t.d. nefnt a\u00f0ra sem g\u00e6tu komi\u00f0 til greina?<\/p>\n

Sigr\u00fan: Nei, h\u00fan hefur ekki gert \u00fea\u00f0. \u00deegar \u00feessi ni\u00f0ursta\u00f0a l\u00e1 fyrir t\u00f3kum vi\u00f0 systkinin okkur saman og kr\u00f6f\u00f0um m\u00f3\u00f0ur okkar svara en h\u00fan segist ekki muna hverjum h\u00fan hafi sofi\u00f0 hj\u00e1. M\u00e9r finnst \u00fea\u00f0 ekki tr\u00faver\u00f0ugt. \u00dea\u00f0 er langt \u00e1 milli okkar svo vi\u00f0 erum ekki a\u00f0 tala um djammt\u00edmabil \u00e1 sokkabands\u00e1runum \u00fear sem h\u00fan var meira og minna bleku\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 er heldur ekki eins og h\u00fan hafi veri\u00f0 a\u00f0 koma heim me\u00f0 n\u00fdjan mann um hverja helgi. \u00c9g man til \u00feess \u00ed eitt einasta skipti \u00f6ll m\u00edn uppvaxtar\u00e1r a\u00f0 hafa or\u00f0i\u00f0 v\u00f6r vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri ma\u00f0ur hj\u00e1 henni.<\/p>\n

\u00c9g held a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 frekar \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 h\u00fan vilji ekki nefna \u00fe\u00e1 sem koma til greina. \u00c9g hef heyrt misskemmtilegar getg\u00e1tur um fa\u00f0erni mitt, m.a. a\u00f0 h\u00fan kunni a\u00f0 hafa or\u00f0i\u00f0 fyrir kynfer\u00f0isofbeldi. Svolei\u00f0is m\u00e1l voru litin \u00f6\u00f0rum augum \u00e1 \u00feeim t\u00edma en \u00ed dag og kannski hefur sk\u00f6mm og a\u00f0rar vondar tilfinningar r\u00e1\u00f0i\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 h\u00fan vildi ekkert segja. En n\u00fa hafa t\u00edmarnir breyst og m\u00e9r finnst \u00fea\u00f0 d\u00e1l\u00edti\u00f0 mikil \u00e1byrg\u00f0 a\u00f0 eiga \u00ferj\u00fa b\u00f6rn og gefa ekki upp fa\u00f0erni neins \u00feeirra. R\u00e9ttur okkar til a\u00f0 vita sannleikann \u00e6tti a\u00f0 vega \u00feyngra en r\u00e9ttur hennar til a\u00f0 leyna einhverju sem henni finnst \u00f3\u00fe\u00e6gilegt. Vi\u00f0 erum ekki a\u00f0 spyrja a\u00f0 \u00feessu til \u00feess a\u00f0 d\u00e6ma hana, vi\u00f0 viljum bara f\u00e1 a\u00f0 vita um \u00e6tterni okkar.<\/p>\n

\u00dea\u00f0 skiptir m\u00e1li a\u00f0 f\u00e1 a\u00f0 vita um uppruna sinn<\/h2>\n

Eva: En n\u00fa er r\u00e9tt skr\u00e1ning engin trygging fyrir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 fa\u00f0ir umgangist barn sitt. S\u00e9r\u00f0u fleiri \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0ur til a\u00f0 tryggja b\u00f6rnum r\u00e9ttar uppl\u00fdsingar um fa\u00f0erni?<\/p>\n

Sigr\u00fan: J\u00e1, \u00fea\u00f0 eru margar \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0ur fyrir \u00fev\u00ed. Vi\u00f0 b\u00faum \u00ed litlu samf\u00e9lagi og \u00e9g vil t.d. a\u00f0 b\u00f6rnin m\u00edn hafi m\u00f6guleika \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 vita hvort \u00feau s\u00e9u a\u00f0 fj\u00f6lga s\u00e9r me\u00f0 n\u00e1num \u00e6ttingjum.<\/p>\n

\u00deetta skiptir br\u00e6\u00f0ur m\u00edna au\u00f0vita\u00f0 ekki minna m\u00e1li. \u00dea\u00f0 hafa gengi\u00f0 s\u00f6gur, og einn ma\u00f0ur hefur s\u00e9rstaklega veri\u00f0 nefndur sem hugsanlegur fa\u00f0ir annars \u00feeirra. S\u00e1 ma\u00f0ur l\u00e9st \u00far sjaldg\u00e6fum sj\u00fakd\u00f3mi og au\u00f0vita\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e6tti br\u00f3\u00f0ur m\u00ednum betra a\u00f0 f\u00e1 \u00far \u00fev\u00ed skori\u00f0 hvort \u00feetta s\u00e9 eitthva\u00f0 sem hann \u00e6tti a\u00f0 l\u00e1ta fylgjast me\u00f0 hj\u00e1 s\u00e9r. Honum finnst hann samt ekki geta gert neitt \u00ed \u00fev\u00ed \u00fear sem \u00feetta eru bara s\u00f6gusagnir. \u00deannig a\u00f0 \u00feetta skiptir l\u00edka m\u00e1li upp \u00e1 heilsufarss\u00f6gu.<\/p>\n

Og svo er \u00fea\u00f0 tilfinningalegi og f\u00e9lagslegi \u00fe\u00e1tturinn. \u00dea\u00f0 er \u00f3\u00fe\u00e6gilegt a\u00f0 vera alltaf \u00ed \u00f3vissu um \u00fea\u00f0 hvort \u00feeir sem ma\u00f0ur \u00e1 samskipti vi\u00f0 s\u00e9u tengdir manni bl\u00f3\u00f0b\u00f6ndum og \u00ed samf\u00e9lagi \u00fear sem \u00e6ttfr\u00e6\u00f0i\u00e1hugi er mikill er l\u00edka erfitt fyrir krakka a\u00f0 geta ekki bent \u00e1 neina \u00e6ttingja. \u00c6ttleidd b\u00f6rn og rangfe\u00f0ru\u00f0 geta a\u00f0 minnsta kosti nefnt n\u00f6fn en \u00fea\u00f0 er ekki gaman fyrir barn a\u00f0 \u00feurfa a\u00f0 segja \u00f6\u00f0rum a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 viti ekki hver pabbi \u00feess s\u00e9.<\/p>\n

Eva: S\u00e9r\u00f0u fyrir \u00fe\u00e9r einhverjar lausnir \u00e1 \u00feessum vanda? Eitthva\u00f0 sem kerfi\u00f0 g\u00e6ti gert?<\/p>\n

Sigr\u00fan: \u00dea\u00f0 er h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 skikka fe\u00f0ur \u00ed fa\u00f0ernispr\u00f3f og \u00fea\u00f0 er gert ef manninum er stefnt en \u00fea\u00f0 er vo\u00f0alega l\u00edti\u00f0 h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 gera ef mamman bara man ekki hverjum h\u00fan hefur sofi\u00f0 hj\u00e1. \u00dea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri \u00fe\u00f3 algert l\u00e1gmark a\u00f0 r\u00edki\u00f0 trygg\u00f0i manni r\u00e9tt til a\u00f0 leita svara \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 hafi kostna\u00f0 \u00ed f\u00f6r me\u00f0 s\u00e9r.<\/p>\n

Annars er \u00feetta au\u00f0vita\u00f0 \u00e1byrg\u00f0 m\u00e6\u00f0ra og \u00feeirra sem koma til greina sem fe\u00f0ur. \u00deegar Kristj\u00e1n neita\u00f0i a\u00f0 m\u00e6ta \u00ed DNA-pr\u00f3f h\u00e9r um \u00e1ri\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e1 hefur hann l\u00edklega ekki hugsa\u00f0 miki\u00f0 \u00fat \u00ed r\u00e9tt 12 \u00e1ra barns til \u00feess a\u00f0 vita sannleikann, hva\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e1 r\u00e9ttinn til a\u00f0 eiga f\u00f6\u00f0ur. Hann hef\u00f0i geta\u00f0 spara\u00f0 okkur b\u00e1\u00f0um 30 \u00e1ra \u00f3vissu, \u00f3vissu sem hann var kannski rei\u00f0ub\u00fainn til a\u00f0 sitja uppi me\u00f0 en \u00e9g ekki. Og hva\u00f0 m\u00f3\u00f0ur m\u00edna var\u00f0ar \u00fe\u00e1 veltir ma\u00f0ur \u00fev\u00ed fyrir s\u00e9r hvort henni finnist kannski a\u00f0 okkur komi \u00feetta bara ekki vi\u00f0.<\/p>\n

R\u00edki\u00f0 getur ekki tryggt r\u00e9ttindi barna nema a\u00f0 takm\u00f6rku\u00f0u leyti. \u00dea\u00f0 sem skiptir meginm\u00e1li er a\u00f0 f\u00f3lk s\u00fdni sm\u00e1 vir\u00f0ingu fyrir r\u00e9tti barna sinna og \u00e1tti sig \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 flestir hafa \u00fe\u00f6rf fyrir a\u00f0 vita um uppruna sinn. \u00dea\u00f0 er kannski h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 b\u00e6ta l\u00f6ggj\u00f6f um r\u00e9ttarst\u00f6\u00f0u \u00e6ttleiddra barna og \u00feeirra sem ver\u00f0a til me\u00f0 t\u00e6knifrj\u00f3vgun en l\u00f6gin n\u00e1 ekki yfir \u00fea\u00f0 hvernig f\u00f3lk heg\u00f0ar kynl\u00edfi s\u00ednu. \u00deess vegna er mikilv\u00e6gt a\u00f0 f\u00f3lk hugsi a\u00f0eins \u00fat \u00ed \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00feegar ma\u00f0ur sefur hj\u00e1 einhverjum me\u00f0 \u00feeim aflei\u00f0ingum a\u00f0 barn ver\u00f0ur til, \u00fe\u00e1 er \u00fea\u00f0 ekki lengur einkam\u00e1l og \u00fea\u00f0 m\u00e1 ekki l\u00e1ta eiginhagsmuni e\u00f0a sk\u00f6mmustutilfinningu koma \u00ed veg fyrir a\u00f0 barni\u00f0 f\u00e1i r\u00e9ttar uppl\u00fdsingar.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Samkv\u00e6mt \u00edslenskum l\u00f6gum \u00e1 barn r\u00e9tt \u00e1 a\u00f0 \u00feekkja b\u00e1\u00f0a foreldra s\u00edna. \u00dea\u00f0 er a\u00f0 v\u00edsu ekki einfalt a\u00f0 framfylgja \u00feeim l\u00f6gum ef foreldri\u00f0 vill ekkert me\u00f0 barni\u00f0 hafa en barni\u00f0 \u00e6tti \u00fe\u00f3, samkv\u00e6mt anda laganna, \u00ed \u00fea\u00f0 minnsta a\u00f0 … Halda \u00e1fram a\u00f0 lesa →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2107,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,62],"tags":[292,320,293,291,290],"class_list":["post-2106","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kyndillinn","category-vidtol","tag-barnalog","tag-born","tag-fadernismal","tag-ofedrud-born","tag-rangfedrud-born"],"yoast_head":"\n\u00deegar mamma man ekki hverjum h\u00fan hefur sofi\u00f0 hj\u00e1 - um r\u00e9ttarst\u00f6\u00f0u rangfe\u00f0ra\u00f0ra og \u00f3fe\u00f0ra\u00f0ra barna - 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