Fyrir langal\u00f6ngu f\u00e9kk \u00e9g p\u00f3st \u00e1 facebook fr\u00e1 konu sem \u00e9g \u00feekkti ekki neitt. Skilabo\u00f0in voru \u00feessi: \u2019Veistu a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa ert me\u00f0 nau\u00f0gara \u00e1 vinalistanum \u00fe\u00ednum?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nei, \u00e9g haf\u00f0i n\u00fa ekki vita\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 og hrollurinn skrei\u00f0 ni\u00f0ur eftir bakinu \u00e1 m\u00e9r. H\u00fan sag\u00f0i m\u00e9r nafn mannsins og fr\u00e1 g\u00f6mlu d\u00f3msm\u00e1li \u00fear sem hann var \u00ed a\u00f0alhlutverki. Lj\u00f3tt m\u00e1l og fr\u00e1s\u00f6gnin tr\u00faver\u00f0ug.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c9g \u00feekkti manninn ekki pers\u00f3nulega fremur en svo marga a\u00f0ra fb vini m\u00edna. Hann haf\u00f0i st\u00f6ku sinnum teki\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e1tt \u00ed umr\u00e6\u00f0um \u00e1 s\u00ed\u00f0unni minni og m\u00e9r fannst hann skemmtilegur. \u00c9g spur\u00f0i hann hvort \u00fe\u00e6r uppl\u00fdsingar sem konan haf\u00f0i gefi\u00f0 m\u00e9r v\u00e6ru r\u00e9ttar og \u00fea\u00f0 st\u00f3\u00f0 heima. Hann vissi l\u00edka hva\u00f0an uppl\u00fdsingarnar komu \u00fev\u00ed \u00feessi sama manneskja haf\u00f0i haft samband vi\u00f0 fleira f\u00f3lk \u00e1 fb. sem haf\u00f0i \u00ed kj\u00f6lfari\u00f0 teki\u00f0 hann \u00fat af vinalistanum s\u00ednum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c9g hugleiddi a\u00f0 gera \u00fea\u00f0 l\u00edka. \u00c9g haf\u00f0i einu sinni teki\u00f0 nau\u00f0gara \u00fat af vinalistanum m\u00ednum. Mann sem var a\u00f0 hrella konu sem m\u00e9r er annt um. \u00c9g veit ekki hvernig nau\u00f0garar hugsa en \u00e9g er allavega viss um a\u00f0 \u00feeir hugsa ekki mj\u00f6g r\u00f6kr\u00e9tt og \u00e9g vildi ekki gefa klikku\u00f0um manni neina \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0u til a\u00f0 halda a\u00f0 hann k\u00e6mist a\u00f0 henni \u00ed gegnum mig.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
En \u00feetta var \u00f6\u00f0ruv\u00edsi. \u00deessi ma\u00f0ur s\u00e1 s\u00f6k s\u00edna. Hann var m\u00e9r vitanlega ekki a\u00f0 hrella neinn og \u00e9g s\u00e1 \u00ed raun ekki a\u00f0 neinum stafa\u00f0i h\u00e6tta af \u00fev\u00ed \u00fe\u00f3tt hann t\u00e6ki \u00fe\u00e1tt \u00ed umr\u00e6\u00f0um \u00e1 fb. Hann haf\u00f0i j\u00e1ta\u00f0, seti\u00f0 af s\u00e9r d\u00f3minn (\u00fea\u00f0 er \u00f3\u00fearfi a\u00f0 r\u00e6\u00f0a goggunarr\u00f6\u00f0ina \u00e1 Litla Hrauni) komi\u00f0 \u00fat me\u00f0vita\u00f0ur um sekt s\u00edna, \u00ed ver\u00f6ld sem haf\u00f0i sn\u00fai\u00f0 vi\u00f0 honum bakinu. Hann kynntist konu nokkrum \u00e1rum s\u00ed\u00f0ar. H\u00fan elska\u00f0i hann og \u00e1 t\u00edmabili var hann n\u00e6stum \u00fev\u00ed farinn a\u00f0 tr\u00faa \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hann g\u00e6ti lifa\u00f0 e\u00f0lilegu l\u00edfi. Hann sag\u00f0i henni fr\u00e1 m\u00e1linu og h\u00fan f\u00f3r fr\u00e1 honum. Um lei\u00f0 slitu allir sem h\u00fan \u00feekkti sambandi vi\u00f0 hann. \u00deessi ma\u00f0ur lif\u00f0i \u00ed einangrun. Facebook var eini vettvangurinn \u00fear sem hann \u00e1tti einhverskonar samskipti vi\u00f0 a\u00f0rar manneskjur. \u00dea\u00f0 hef\u00f0i ekki \u00fej\u00f3na\u00f0 \u00feeim tilgangi a\u00f0 vernda neinn og engu r\u00e9ttl\u00e6ti heldur a\u00f0 taka \u00feann m\u00f6guleika fr\u00e1 honum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ma\u00f0urinn er \u00fea\u00f0 sem hann gerir. \u00deegar ma\u00f0ur er d\u00e6mdur fyrir hryllilegan gl\u00e6p, gl\u00e6p sem samf\u00e9lagi\u00f0 getur ekki fyrirgefi\u00f0, eru tveir m\u00f6guleikar \u00ed st\u00f6\u00f0unni; hann situr af s\u00e9r d\u00f3minn og gengur \u00fat sem mor\u00f0ingi\/nau\u00f0gari og heldur \u00e1fram a\u00f0 nau\u00f0ga og\/e\u00f0a drepa, e\u00f0a hann gengur \u00fat sem fyrrverandi mor\u00f0ingi e\u00f0a nau\u00f0gari og reynir a\u00f0 hefja n\u00fdtt l\u00edf. Ef hann er mor\u00f0ingi munu einhverjir tr\u00faa \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hann hafi frami\u00f0 sitt s\u00ed\u00f0asta (og vonandi eina mor\u00f0). Hann \u00e1 erfitt uppdr\u00e1ttar, vissulega en hann \u00e1 \u00fe\u00f3 oftast kost \u00e1 einhverjum stu\u00f0ningi fr\u00e1 einhverjum. \u00dea\u00f0 er hinsvegar alveg sama hvort kynfer\u00f0isgl\u00e6pama\u00f0ur situr vi\u00f0 sama heygar\u00f0shorni\u00f0 og s\u00e9r ekkert athugavert vi\u00f0 heg\u00f0un s\u00edna e\u00f0a hvort hann hefur sn\u00fai\u00f0 vi\u00f0 bla\u00f0inu, hafi hann einu sinni j\u00e1ta\u00f0 \u00e1 sig kynfer\u00f0isgl\u00e6p, \u00fe\u00e1 er hann \u00farkast a\u00f0 eil\u00edfu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00c9g t\u00f3k \u00feennan mann ekki \u00fat af vinalistanum m\u00ednum. Hann hvarf reyndar af fb nokkrum d\u00f6gum s\u00ed\u00f0ar. Kannski bj\u00f3 hann s\u00e9r til gervipr\u00f3f\u00edl til \u00feess a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 halda einhverjum mannlegum tengslum. Kannski fyrirf\u00f3r hann s\u00e9r. \u00c9g er allavega nokku\u00f0 viss um a\u00f0 hann loka\u00f0i ekki fb s\u00ed\u00f0unni sinni af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hann v\u00e6ri hr\u00e6ddur vi\u00f0 firringuna e\u00f0a hundlei\u00f0ur \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 f\u00e1 fj\u00f3lubl\u00e1a glimmerengla me\u00f0 v\u00e6mnum skilabo\u00f0um inn \u00e1 s\u00ed\u00f0una s\u00edna.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Af hverju t\u00f3k \u00e9g hann ekki \u00fat af vinalistanum? Var \u00e9g me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 gefa \u00fat yfirl\u00fdsingu um a\u00f0 m\u00e9r \u00fe\u00e6ttu nau\u00f0ganir bara hi\u00f0 besta m\u00e1l og vildi helst eiga sem flesta nau\u00f0gara a\u00f0 vinum? E\u00f0a var \u00e9g svona g\u00f6fuglynd a\u00f0 leyfa greyinu sem enginn vildi neitt me\u00f0 hafa a\u00f0 hafa nafni\u00f0 mitt \u00e1 listanum s\u00ednum til merkis um a\u00f0 einhver vi\u00f0urkenndi tilverur\u00e9tt hans?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nei, \u00e9g hugsa\u00f0i \u00feetta ekki \u00feannig. \u00c9g er enginn talsma\u00f0ur skilyr\u00f0islausrar fyrirgefningar og \u00e1l\u00edt reyndar a\u00f0 hefnd eigi oft fullan r\u00e9tt \u00e1 s\u00e9r. \u00dea\u00f0 er hinsvegar ekki hefnd sem er a\u00f0 verki \u00feegar \u00f3g\u00e6fumanni er \u00fath\u00fdst \u00far mannlegu samf\u00e9lagi. Hefnd er \u00ed e\u00f0li s\u00ednu pers\u00f3nuleg. H\u00fan er re-venge e\u00f0a endurgjald \u00ed neikv\u00e6\u00f0ri merkingu. Illgj\u00f6r\u00f0 gagnvart einhverjum sem \u00e1 \u00fea\u00f0 skili\u00f0. Tilgangur hennar er s\u00e1 a\u00f0 fulln\u00e6gja r\u00e9ttl\u00e6tinu, finna s\u00e1larfri\u00f0 til \u00feess a\u00f0 ver\u00f0a f\u00e6r um a\u00f0 l\u00e1ta atbur\u00f0inn a\u00f0 baki. Hefndin tekur enda, annars \u00fej\u00f3nar h\u00fan ekki tilgangi s\u00ednum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
R\u00edki\u00f0 getur ekki teki\u00f0 hefndina a\u00f0 s\u00e9r. \u00dea\u00f0 eina gagnlega sem r\u00edki\u00f0 getur gert vi\u00f0 afbrotamenn, er a\u00f0 taka h\u00e6ttulega menn \u00far umfer\u00f0 til a\u00f0 vernda samf\u00e9lagi\u00f0 gegn \u00feeim. R\u00edki\u00f0 reynir hinsvegar a\u00f0 fulln\u00e6gja r\u00e9ttl\u00e6tinu me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 refsa \u00fev\u00ed f\u00f3lki sem br\u00fdtur af s\u00e9r. \u00dea\u00f0 virkar a\u00f0 v\u00edsu ekki, ekki \u00e1 neinn h\u00e1tt. F\u00f3lk ver\u00f0ur ekki betri manneskjur af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 ganga \u00ed gegnum refsingu. Refsingar hafa ekki fyrirbyggjandi \u00e1hrif og allra s\u00edst \u00fej\u00f3na refsingar d\u00f3mskerfisins hefndar\u00fe\u00f6rfinni. Svar \u00feessa grunnhyggna samf\u00e9lags er samt sem \u00e1\u00f0ur refsing. Vi\u00f0eigandi stofnun fyrir \u00fe\u00e1 sem ekki er h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 halda \u00ed skefjum er ekki til!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018H\u00e6ttulegur ma\u00f0ur\u2019 er g\u00f3\u00f0 afs\u00f6kun fyrir ofs\u00f3knum. En \u00fea\u00f0 ekki fyrst og fremst \u00f3tti vi\u00f0 h\u00e6ttulega menn sem er a\u00f0 verki \u00feegar gl\u00e6pama\u00f0ur hefur teki\u00f0 \u00fat s\u00edna formlegu refsingu til \u00feess eins a\u00f0 lifa \u00ed f\u00e9lagslegri einangrun og s\u00e6ta jafnvel ofs\u00f3knum sem enginn hefur \u00e1huga \u00e1 a\u00f0 sporna gegn. \u00dea\u00f0 er ekki heldur hefnd \u00feegar f\u00f3lk sem \u00feekkir ekkert til \u00feolendanna ofs\u00e6kir afbrotamann. \u00dea\u00f0 eru ekki r\u00e9ttm\u00e6t vi\u00f0br\u00f6g\u00f0 manneskju sem \u00e1 harma a\u00f0 hefna, a\u00f0 hundelta mann, augl\u00fdsa heimilisfang hans og l\u00fdsa \u00fev\u00ed \u00ed sm\u00e1atri\u00f0um hverskonar pyndingar hann \u00e1 skili\u00f0, heldur hrein og kl\u00e1r grimmd. Kynfer\u00f0isgl\u00e6pamenn eru \u00farkast, menn sem enginn hefur sam\u00fa\u00f0 me\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 er alveg sama hversu sk\u00edtlega ma\u00f0ur hagar s\u00e9r, \u00fea\u00f0 er alltaf h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 benda \u00e1 nau\u00f0garann og segja a\u00f0 hann s\u00e9 enn\u00fe\u00e1 meira ojbjakk. Samf\u00e9lag okkar umber \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 ill heg\u00f0un \u00feeirra, hvort sem \u00feeir hafa l\u00e1ti\u00f0 af henni e\u00f0ur ei, s\u00e9 notu\u00f0 sem r\u00e9ttl\u00e6ting fyrir refsingu sem engan enda tekur. R\u00e9ttl\u00e6ting fyrir ofs\u00f3knum og einelti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eiga nau\u00f0garar \u00fea\u00f0 skili\u00f0 a\u00f0 f\u00e1 a\u00f0 lifa e\u00f0lilegu l\u00edfi? Nei \u00e1rei\u00f0anlega ekki. Ver\u00f0skuldar fj\u00f6ldamor\u00f0ingi \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 halda l\u00edfi? Nei, \u00ed raun ekki. Samt er \u00e9g m\u00f3tfallin dau\u00f0arefsingum. Ekki eing\u00f6ngu vegna h\u00e6ttunnar \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 saklaus ma\u00f0ur s\u00e9 l\u00edfl\u00e1tinn (enginn er l\u00edfl\u00e1tinn nema d\u00f3murinn telji engan vafa leika \u00e1 sekt hans en samt sem \u00e1\u00f0ur gerist \u00fea\u00f0 af og til a\u00f0 rangir d\u00f3mar eru kve\u00f0nir upp og \u00feeim framfylgt) heldur l\u00edka vegna \u00feess a\u00f0 dau\u00f0arefsing getur aldrei \u00fej\u00f3na\u00f0 r\u00e9ttl\u00e6tinu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00deegar ma\u00f0ur hefur heg\u00f0a\u00f0 s\u00e9r svo skelfilega a\u00f0 hann \u00e1 ekki skili\u00f0 a\u00f0 lifa, rekumst vi\u00f0 \u00e1 undarlega \u00fevers\u00f6gn; eina lei\u00f0in til a\u00f0 fulln\u00e6gja r\u00e9ttl\u00e6tinu er s\u00fa a\u00f0 fremja rangl\u00e6ti<\/em>. Dau\u00f0arefsing gengur ekki upp sem lei\u00f0 til a\u00f0 fulln\u00e6gja r\u00e9ttl\u00e6tinu. H\u00fan getur ekki veri\u00f0 r\u00e9ttl\u00e1t, sama hversu mikill sk\u00edth\u00e6ll ma\u00f0urinn er. Pers\u00f3nuleg hefnd g\u00e6ti hugsanlega f\u00e6rt \u00feolandanum fri\u00f0 en refsing yfirvaldsins gerir \u00fea\u00f0 ekki. \u00dea\u00f0 er ekki h\u00e6gt a\u00f0 fulln\u00e6gja r\u00e9ttl\u00e6tinu me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 fremja rangl\u00e6ti. Og \u00fea\u00f0 er n\u00fa \u00feessvegna sem miskunnsemin var fundin upp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00c9g bi\u00f0 ekki nokkurn mann um a\u00f0 bj\u00f3\u00f0a barnanau\u00f0garanum \u00ed hverfinu \u00ed fermingarveislu. \u00c9g skil f\u00f3lk sem finnst eitthva\u00f0 mj\u00f6g \u00f3hugnanlegt vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00f3forbetranlegur barnanau\u00f0gari sitji \u00ed kj\u00f6rdeild, enda \u00fe\u00f3tt sennilega stafi mun minni h\u00e6tta af honum \u00fear en \u00e1 r\u00f6ltinu fyrir utan grunnsk\u00f3la. \u00c9g l\u00e1i engum \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 fr\u00edka \u00fat af tilhugsuninni um a\u00f0 nau\u00f0garinn \u00e1 fb listanum hafi kannski sko\u00f0a\u00f0 lj\u00f3smyndir og viti hvar ma\u00f0ur \u00e1 heima. En \u00e9g bi\u00f0 \u00feeim v\u00e6g\u00f0ar, j\u00e1 \u00e9g geri \u00fea\u00f0. \u00c9g fer fram \u00e1 \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00ed sta\u00f0 \u00feess a\u00f0 ofs\u00e6kja kynfer\u00f0isafbrotamenn, beini f\u00f3lk frekar kr\u00f6ftum s\u00ednum a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 krefjast \u00feess a\u00f0 \u2018vi\u00f0eigandi stofnun\u2019 e\u00f0a \u00f6nnur r\u00e1\u00f0 sem \u00fej\u00f3na \u00feeim tilgangi a\u00f0 vernda samf\u00e9lagi\u00f0 ver\u00f0i tekin upp.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Miskunnsemi felur ekki \u00ed s\u00e9r fyrirgefningu. Allavega ekki \u00ed \u00feeirri merkingu a\u00f0 striki s\u00e9 slegi\u00f0 yfir fort\u00ed\u00f0ina og samskipti hafin \u00e1 n\u00fd \u00e1 grunni trausts og vir\u00f0ingar. Miskunnsemi merkir \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 horfumst \u00ed augu vi\u00f0 \u00fevers\u00f6gn r\u00e9ttl\u00e6tisins. Vi\u00f0 beitum miskunnsemi \u00feegar vi\u00f0 st\u00f6ndum frammi fyrir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 velja \u00e1 milli \u00feess a\u00f0 s\u00fdna v\u00e6g\u00f0 e\u00f0a \u00feess a\u00f0 n\u00e6ra andstyggilegasta eiginleika mannsins, grimmdina. Eiginleika sem vi\u00f0 g\u00e6tum hugsanlega \u00feurft \u00e1 a\u00f0 halda til a\u00f0 verja mannsl\u00edf en h\u00f6fum enga \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0u til a\u00f0 efla og praktisera \u00ed daglegu l\u00edfi. Miskunnsemi merkir a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 gefum f\u00f3lki s\u00e9ns \u00feegar \u00fea\u00f0 \u00e1 \u00fea\u00f0 ekki skili\u00f0. Miskunnsemi merkir \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 stillum okkur um a\u00f0 ofs\u00e6kja einhvern. Ekki af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 s\u00e9um svo \u00e6\u00f0isleg, heldur vegna \u00feess a\u00f0 endalaus refsing b\u00e6tir engan mann. \u00dea\u00f0 eru hinsvegar meiri l\u00edkur \u00e1 a\u00f0 sl\u00e6mir menn taki upp betri vi\u00f0horf og heg\u00f0un ef vi\u00f0 gerum heiminn mennskari.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mynd: Pexels<\/a>, Pixabay<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Fyrir langal\u00f6ngu f\u00e9kk \u00e9g p\u00f3st \u00e1 facebook fr\u00e1 konu sem \u00e9g \u00feekkti ekki neitt. Skilabo\u00f0in voru \u00feessi: \u2019Veistu a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa ert me\u00f0 nau\u00f0gara \u00e1 vinalistanum \u00fe\u00ednum?\u2019 Nei, \u00e9g haf\u00f0i n\u00fa ekki vita\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 og hrollurinn skrei\u00f0 ni\u00f0ur eftir bakinu \u00e1 m\u00e9r. H\u00fan sag\u00f0i m\u00e9r nafn mannsins og fr\u00e1 g\u00f6mlu d\u00f3msm\u00e1li \u00fear sem hann var \u00ed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":5614,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[5,1041],"tags":[995,663,996,994],"class_list":["post-5605","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kyn-klam","category-kyn-ofbeldi","tag-jadarsetning","tag-naudgun","tag-ofsoknir","tag-utilokun","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"yoast_head":"\nMiskunnsemi er ekki \u00fea\u00f0 sama og fyrirgefning<\/h2>\n\n\n\n