\u00deegar eldri sonur minn f\u00e6ddist, \u00e1tta\u00f0i \u00e9g mig \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g var f\u00e6r um a\u00f0 kasta fr\u00e1 m\u00e9r f\u00edkjubla\u00f0inu. \u00c9g veit ekki alveg hvernig \u00e9g l\u00e6r\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0. Sennilega sm\u00e1tt og sm\u00e1tt.<\/p>\n
Elsta minning m\u00edn um s\u00e6r\u00f0a blyg\u00f0unarkennd er fr\u00e1 fyrsta vetri m\u00ednum \u00ed sk\u00f3la. Vins\u00e6ll str\u00e1kur \u00ed 2. bekk k\u00edkti \u00e1 mig \u00e1 kl\u00f3settinu og grobba\u00f0i sig af \u00fev\u00ed vi\u00f0 hina krakkana. \u00c9g var\u00f0 mi\u00f0ur m\u00edn. Sk\u00f6mmin svo \u00feungb\u00e6r a\u00f0 \u00e9g gat ekki einu sinni sagt m\u00f6mmu fr\u00e1 \u00feessu og lengi \u00e1 eftir sat \u00e9g \u00ed spreng \u00ed lengri t\u00edma frekar en a\u00f0 pissa \u00ed sk\u00f3lanum. \u00c9g minnist \u00feess ekki a\u00f0 hafa nokkurn t\u00edma aftur upplifa\u00f0 mig jafn sv\u00edvirta \u00fev\u00ed \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g hafi or\u00f0i\u00f0 fyrir mun gr\u00f3fari \u00e1r\u00e1sum s\u00ed\u00f0ar, var \u00e9g \u00fe\u00e1 b\u00fain a\u00f0 taka \u00fe\u00e1 afst\u00f6\u00f0u a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 tilgangslaust a\u00f0 skammast s\u00edna fyrir eitthva\u00f0 sem a\u00f0rir gera manni. \u00c9g segi ekki a\u00f0 \u00e9g hef\u00f0i gyrt ni\u00f0ur mig \u00ed mannfj\u00f6lda en \u00feegar nokkrir str\u00e1kar ruddust inn \u00ed b\u00faningsherbergi sundlaugarinnar \u00feremur \u00e1rum s\u00ed\u00f0ar, skr\u00e6kti \u00e9g og reif fram handkl\u00e6\u00f0i bekkjarsystrum m\u00ednum til saml\u00e6tis, frekur en sk\u00f6mm.<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 var samt ekki fyrr en \u00e9g l\u00e1 \u00fatglennt \u00e1 f\u00e6\u00f0ingarbekk, me\u00f0 raka\u00f0 skaut og fl\u00faorlj\u00f3s \u00ed klofinu, a\u00f0 vi\u00f0st\u00f6ddum f\u00e6\u00f0ingarl\u00e6kni, a\u00f0sto\u00f0arl\u00e6kni, lj\u00f3sm\u00f3\u00f0ur og f\u00f6\u00f0ur \u00f3f\u00e6dda barnsins, sem \u00e9g \u00e1tta\u00f0i mig \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 notkun og sta\u00f0setning f\u00edkjubla\u00f0sins var undir sj\u00e1lfri m\u00e9r komin. \u00c9g f\u00f3r allt \u00ed einu a\u00f0 hugsa um hva\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri skr\u00fdti\u00f0 a\u00f0 \u00ed raun hef\u00f0i ma\u00f0urinn minn aldrei s\u00e9\u00f0 sk\u00f6p m\u00edn jafn greinilega n\u00fa, vi\u00f0 a\u00f0st\u00e6\u00f0ur sem virtust einhvernveginn \u00f3raunverlegar og \u00fe\u00e1 a\u00f0eins sem einn \u00far h\u00f3pi \u00e1horfenda. \u00c1hugi hans \u00e1 \u00feremur \u00ed \u00fatv\u00edkkun beindist ekki a\u00f0 m\u00e9r, heldur a\u00f0 dyrunum sem barni\u00f0 hans k\u00e6mi \u00fat um. Og \u00feegar lj\u00f3sm\u00f3\u00f0irin spur\u00f0i hvort m\u00e9r v\u00e6ri sama \u00fe\u00f3tt l\u00e6knakandidat yr\u00f0i vi\u00f0staddur, var \u00fea\u00f0 me\u00f0 fullri sannf\u00e6ringu sem \u00e9g sam\u00feykkti \u00fea\u00f0. \u00c9g var\u00f0 hissa, \u00fev\u00ed \u00e9g haf\u00f0i \u00e1tt von \u00e1 a\u00f0 m\u00e9r \u00fe\u00e6tti erfitt a\u00f0 liggja \u00ed \u00feessari stellingu fyrir framan anna\u00f0 f\u00f3lk og \u00e9g hef\u00f0i \u00e1rei\u00f0anlega s\u00e1rm\u00f3\u00f0gast ef Mimmi hef\u00f0i stungi\u00f0 upp \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 f\u00e1 a\u00f0 l\u00fdsa upp \u00ed mitt helgasta me\u00f0 fl\u00faorlj\u00f3si heima \u00ed r\u00fami, en \u00e1 \u00feessari stundu hef\u00f0i m\u00e9r sta\u00f0i\u00f0 hjartanlega \u00e1 sama \u00fe\u00f3tt hundra\u00f0 og einn kand\u00eddat hef\u00f0i g\u00f3nt upp \u00ed fl\u00faorl\u00fdst klofi\u00f0 \u00e1 m\u00e9r \u00ed beinni \u00fatsendingu R\u00edkissj\u00f3nvarpsins.<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 var \u00e1 \u00feessu augnabliki sem \u00e9g \u00e1tta\u00f0i mig \u00e1 h\u00e6fileikanum til a\u00f0 „aftengja“ mig tilfinningalega. \u00dea\u00f0 sem gekk yfir l\u00edkama minn var ekkert pers\u00f3nulegt. \u00c9g var ekki lengur Eva, heldur kj\u00f6tstykki og \u00e9g var sannf\u00e6r\u00f0 um a\u00f0 enginn vi\u00f0staddra myndi nokkun t\u00edma hugsa um mig \u00ed \u00feessum a\u00f0st\u00e6\u00f0um sem kynveru e\u00f0a tilfinningaveru, heldur a\u00f0eins sem l\u00e6knisfr\u00e6\u00f0ilegt vi\u00f0fang. Jafnvel ma\u00f0urinn minn myndi aldrei hugsa um \u00feessa mynd sem mig e\u00f0a p\u00edkuna \u00e1 m\u00e9r, heldur sem safn samverkandi l\u00edff\u00e6ra, l\u00edkama til a\u00f0 koma barni \u00ed heiminn. Ef a\u00f0rir g\u00e1tu liti\u00f0 \u00e1 mig sem hvert anna\u00f0 gangverk holds og vessa, hva\u00f0a skynsemi hef\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e1 \u00fej\u00f3na\u00f0 a\u00f0 blyg\u00f0ast m\u00edn? \u00dea\u00f0 var fullkomlega \u00f3r\u00f6kr\u00e9tt og m\u00e9r var\u00f0 hugsa\u00f0 til Adams og f\u00edkjubla\u00f0sins og fannst hann vera f\u00e1viti a\u00f0 blyg\u00f0ast s\u00edn fyrir Gu\u00f0i.<\/p>\n
\u00dear sem \u00e9g l\u00e1 \u00fearna vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0ina \u00e1 skrokknum \u00e1 m\u00e9r skildi \u00e9g allt \u00ed einu a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00f3tt Adam hafi fali\u00f0 sig me\u00f0 f\u00edkjubla\u00f0i er ekki \u00fear me\u00f0 sagt a\u00f0 Eva s\u00e9 kn\u00fain s\u00f6mu hv\u00f6tum. Kannski huldi h\u00fan sk\u00f6p s\u00edn me\u00f0 f\u00edkjubla\u00f0i til a\u00f0 gera Adam til ge\u00f0s, ekki af \u00fev\u00ed h\u00fan \u00feyrfti \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 halda. \u00c1 \u00feessum t\u00edma var \u00e9g a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 tr\u00faa \u00e1 Gu\u00f0 og \u00e9g \u00e1kva\u00f0 m\u00e9r sj\u00e1lfri m\u00e9r a\u00f0 ef hann hef\u00f0i \u00e6tla\u00f0 manninum a\u00f0 blyg\u00f0ast s\u00edn fyrir sj\u00e1lfan sig hef\u00f0i hann skapa\u00f0 hann me\u00f0 \u00e1f\u00f6stu f\u00edkjubla\u00f0i. \u00c9g vissi a\u00f0 f\u00edkjubl\u00f6\u00f0 v\u00e6ru til \u00feess eins n\u00fdt a\u00f0 vernda gegn \u00f3r\u00f6kr\u00e9ttri blyg\u00f0un, \u00fe\u00e1 sem reyna a\u00f0 firra sig \u00e1byrg\u00f0 \u00e1 eigin epla\u00e1ti \u00e1 en blyg\u00f0ast s\u00edn samt st\u00f6\u00f0ugt, ekki a\u00f0eins fyrir nekt s\u00edna heldur einnig fyrir nekt annarra. \u00c9g vissi a\u00f0 \u00e9g r\u00e9\u00f0i yfir f\u00edkjubla\u00f0inu sj\u00e1lf og \u00fe\u00e1 f\u00f3r \u00e9g a\u00f0 velta \u00fev\u00ed fyrir m\u00e9r hvort \u00fea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri ekki svo um a\u00f0rar kenndir l\u00edka.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00deegar eldri sonur minn f\u00e6ddist, \u00e1tta\u00f0i \u00e9g mig \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g var f\u00e6r um a\u00f0 kasta fr\u00e1 m\u00e9r f\u00edkjubla\u00f0inu. \u00c9g veit ekki alveg hvernig \u00e9g l\u00e6r\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0. Sennilega sm\u00e1tt og sm\u00e1tt. Elsta minning m\u00edn um s\u00e6r\u00f0a blyg\u00f0unarkennd er fr\u00e1 … Halda \u00e1fram a\u00f0 lesa