Hversu lengi hef \u00e9g seti\u00f0 og stara\u00f0 \u00e1 vegginn \u00ed stofunni? \u00c9g veit \u00fea\u00f0 upp \u00e1 m\u00edn\u00fatu en \u00fe\u00e6r m\u00edn\u00fatur hafa li\u00f0i\u00f0 h\u00e6gar en m\u00edn\u00fatur gera almennt. \u00dea\u00f0 er svosem ekki miki\u00f0 a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 \u00e1 \u00feessum vegg, nema \u00fe\u00e1 sprunguna eftir jar\u00f0skj\u00e1lftann \u00ed fyrra. H\u00fan hefur st\u00e6kka\u00f0 og gli\u00f0na\u00f0 og n\u00fdjar sprungur og grynnri liggja \u00fat fr\u00e1 henni. Brei\u00f0ast l\u00edkt \u00f6rtst\u00e6kkandi k\u00f3gul\u00f3arvef fr\u00e1 mi\u00f0junni, yfir vegginn allan, allt ni\u00f0ur a\u00f0 g\u00f3lfi og uppundir loft. Merkilegt a\u00f0 veggurinn skyldi fyrst springa \u00ed mi\u00f0junni. R\u00e9tt eins himininn hafi \u00fer\u00fdst \u00e1 m\u00f3ti \u00feegar j\u00f6r\u00f0in t\u00f3k a\u00f0 titra undir f\u00f3tum m\u00ednum. Hversu langt \u00e6tli s\u00e9 \u00fear til veggurinn hreinlega gefur sig og hrynur yfir stofuna m\u00edna?<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 \u00fej\u00f3nar v\u00edst litlum tilgangi a\u00f0 stara endalaust \u00e1 sama blettinn svo \u00e9g stend upp og \u00e6\u00f0i \u00ed nokkra hringi um stofuna til tilbreytingar. \u00c6tli hann hafi skili\u00f0 s\u00edgaretturnar s\u00ednar eftir? „G\u00f3\u00f0a far\u00f0u n\u00fa ekki a\u00f0 huglei\u00f0a \u00feann m\u00f6guleika. Haf\u00f0ir\u00f0u ekki n\u00f3gu miki\u00f0 fyrir \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 h\u00e6tta?“<\/p>\n
Nei, hann hefur teki\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e6r me\u00f0 s\u00e9r. Til hvers t\u00f3k hann \u00fe\u00e6r me\u00f0? Hann \u00e6tla\u00f0i ekki a\u00f0 vera nema sm\u00e1stund. Nema \u00fe\u00e6r s\u00e9u frammi \u00ed eldh\u00fasi. Fer fram \u00ed eldh\u00fas. J\u00fa \u00fearna liggja \u00fe\u00e6r \u00e1 \u00edssk\u00e1pnum. Gott m\u00e1l, \u00fe\u00e1 hl\u00fdtur hann a\u00f0 vera a\u00f0 koma.<\/p>\n
„Hver er n\u00fa a\u00f0 lj\u00faga a\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfri s\u00e9r? \u00deessi pakki er \u00f3\u00e1tekinn. \u00de\u00fa veist fullvel a\u00f0 hann var me\u00f0 h\u00e1lfreyktan pakka inni \u00ed stofu \u00e1\u00f0an. Hann er ekkert a\u00f0 koma strax aftur.“<\/p>\n
Stend vi\u00f0 eldh\u00fassgluggann og horfi \u00fat. \u00cd gluggum h\u00fasanna sk\u00edna j\u00f3laser\u00edur og a\u00f0ventulj\u00f3s. H\u00fasi\u00f0 sk\u00e1 \u00e1 m\u00f3ti or\u00f0i\u00f0 eins og amer\u00edskur j\u00f3laskrautsmarka\u00f0ur, magni\u00f0 ber smekkv\u00edsina ofurli\u00f0i. G\u00f6tulj\u00f3sin varpa birtu \u00e1 malbiki\u00f0. Reyndar skuggum l\u00edka. S\u00edvalir lj\u00f3sastauraskuggar liggja \u00fevert yfir g\u00f6tuna me\u00f0 reglubundnu millibili. Merkilegt a\u00f0 lj\u00f3si\u00f0 og skugginn skuli koma fr\u00e1 sama fyrirb\u00e6rinu. Ekki gott a\u00f0 \u00e1tta sig \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed hvort \u00fea\u00f0 er skugginn sem leggst yfir lj\u00f3si\u00f0 e\u00f0a lj\u00f3si\u00f0 sem sm\u00fdgur milli skugga. \u00c9g hef kveikt \u00ed s\u00edgarettu og n\u00fa sm\u00fdgur reykurinn \u00ed gegnum myrkri\u00f0 \u00ed eldh\u00fasinu. \u00c9g er berf\u00e6tt og g\u00f3lfi\u00f0 er kalt og enginn b\u00edll ekur inn g\u00f6tuna. J\u00e6ja, hann hl\u00fdtur allavega a\u00f0 hringja ef hann \u00e1kve\u00f0ur a\u00f0 koma ekki heim.<\/p>\n
„Hringja! hnuhh! hann er kannski vanur \u00fev\u00ed?“<\/p>\n
\u00c6 g\u00f3\u00f0a \u00feegi\u00f0u.<\/p>\n
Fl\u00fd kulda eldh\u00fassg\u00f3lfsins. Sest ni\u00f0ur \u00ed stofunni \u00fear sem enn loga \u00ferj\u00fa lj\u00f3s \u00e1 a\u00f0ventukransinum. S\u00edgarettan er brunnin upp svo \u00e9g kveiki \u00ed n\u00fdrri. Dreg reykinn dj\u00fapt, dj\u00fapt ofan \u00ed lungun og fletti Mogganum. Man ekki stundinni lengur hva\u00f0 \u00e9g les. Eins og augu m\u00edn leiti st\u00f6\u00f0ugt \u00ed \u00e1tt a\u00f0 s\u00edmanum. Samt \u00e1 \u00e9g \u00ed rauninni alls ekki von \u00e1 a\u00f0 hann hringi.<\/p>\n
Kannski hefur hann fari\u00f0 inn me\u00f0 Kollu? Hann \u00e6tla\u00f0i bara a\u00f0 aka henni heim og koma svo, sag\u00f0i hann. En \u00fea\u00f0 er meira en klukkut\u00edmi s\u00ed\u00f0an. Hva\u00f0 var \u00e9g l\u00edka a\u00f0 sam\u00feykkja \u00fea\u00f0? Og hva\u00f0 var \u00e9g eiginlega a\u00f0 b\u00faa honum a\u00f0st\u00e6\u00f0ur til a\u00f0 bj\u00f3\u00f0a \u00feessu f\u00f3lki hinga\u00f0? Hef\u00f0i m\u00e1tt vita a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 f\u00e6ri svona. \u00c9g hef\u00f0i aldrei \u00e1tt a\u00f0 hleypa honum \u00fat. Einhver hinna hef\u00f0i \u00e1tt a\u00f0 bj\u00f3\u00f0a henni far. E\u00f0a h\u00fan hef\u00f0i geta\u00f0 teki\u00f0 leigub\u00edl eins og anna\u00f0 f\u00f3lk.<\/p>\n
„Vertu ekki svona miki\u00f0 f\u00edfl. Au\u00f0vita\u00f0 m\u00e1 hann bj\u00f3\u00f0a vinum s\u00ednum \u00ed j\u00f3lagl\u00f6gg og allir vita a\u00f0 \u00feau eru meira en vinnuf\u00e9lagar, \u00fea\u00f0 var bara r\u00f6kr\u00e9tt hj\u00e1 honum a\u00f0 bj\u00f3\u00f0ast til a\u00f0 keyra hana.“<\/p>\n
\u00c9g hef\u00f0i \u00e1tt a\u00f0 keyra hana sj\u00e1lf.<\/p>\n
„J\u00e1, \u00fea\u00f0 hef\u00f0i \u00e1rei\u00f0anlega breytt \u00f6llu. \u00de\u00e1 v\u00e6ri hann sj\u00e1lfsagt sofna\u00f0ur n\u00fana, heldur\u00f0u ekki? H\u00e1lfviti!“<\/p>\n
Kannski \u00e6tti \u00e9g a\u00f0 pr\u00f3fa hringja \u00ed Kollu?<\/p>\n
„Nei, aulinn \u00feinn, \u00fea\u00f0 \u00e6ttir\u00f0u sko ekki a\u00f0 gera. N\u00f3g a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa \u00fej\u00e1ist ein. \u00dea\u00f0 sem \u00fe\u00fa \u00e1tt a\u00f0 gera n\u00fana er \u00f3sk\u00f6p einfaldlega a\u00f0 koma \u00fe\u00e9r \u00ed b\u00e6li\u00f0 og l\u00e1ta hann sigla sinn sj\u00f3. \u00dea\u00f0 er m.a.s. \u00fea\u00f0 eina sem \u00fe\u00fa getur gert.“<\/p>\n
Kannski. J\u00e1, kannski. \u00deessi s\u00edgaretta er l\u00edka brunnin upp. Kveiki \u00ed einni enn. Horfi \u00e1 s\u00edmann. \u00c9g geri reyndar ekki r\u00e1\u00f0 fyrir a\u00f0 hann hringi en til \u00f6ryggis lyfti \u00e9g t\u00f3linu, j\u00fa \u00fea\u00f0 er s\u00f3nn.<\/p>\n
R\u00fami\u00f0 er kalt. M\u00e9r er kalt \u00e1 f\u00f3tunum. Loka glugganum. Loka augunum. Tek vi\u00f0brag\u00f0 \u00ed hvert sinn sem \u00e9g heyri \u00ed b\u00edl og hendist fram \u00far r\u00faminu og \u00fat \u00ed glugga en \u00fea\u00f0 er bl\u00e1r b\u00edll e\u00f0a rau\u00f0ur en alls ekki gr\u00e1r og \u00feeir aka fram hj\u00e1.<\/p>\n
Sl\u00f6kkti \u00e9g ekki \u00f6rugglega \u00e1 a\u00f0ventukransinum? J\u00faj\u00fa, \u00e9g ger\u00f0i \u00fea\u00f0. \u00c6tti \u00e9g ekki a\u00f0 g\u00e1 til \u00f6ryggis? Fer fram \u00far. A\u00f0ventukransinn er fallegur. Gr\u00e6nt greni og hv\u00edt kerti. \u00cd dag kveiktum vi\u00f0 \u00e1 \u00feri\u00f0ja kertinu. Sp\u00e1d\u00f3mskertinu. \u00dea\u00f0 er sl\u00f6kkt \u00e1 kertunum. L\u00edka \u00e1 j\u00f3laser\u00edunni \u00ed glugganum. \u00d3\u00fearft a\u00f0 brenna inni \u00fe\u00f3tt ma\u00f0ur vilji hafa j\u00f3lalegt hj\u00e1 s\u00e9r. S\u00edminn \u00e1 bor\u00f0inu. Tek s\u00edmann og fer me\u00f0 hann fram. Sn\u00faran er ekki n\u00f3gu l\u00f6ng til a\u00f0 n\u00e1 inn \u00ed herbergi\u00f0 svo \u00e9g set hann \u00e1 g\u00f3lfi\u00f0 \u00ed holinu.<\/p>\n
„Ertu ekki me\u00f0 \u00f6llum mjalla manneskja? Heldur\u00f0u virkilega a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa missir af s\u00edmtali \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00fe\u00fa \u00feurfir a\u00f0 taka 3 skref til vi\u00f0b\u00f3tar?“<\/p>\n
Ligg \u00ed r\u00faminu og horfi \u00e1 gr\u00e1an s\u00edmann sem stendur \u00e1 mi\u00f0ju g\u00f3lfinu \u00ed uppl\u00fdstu holinu. L\u00edt af s\u00edmanum \u00e1 vegginn \u00e1 m\u00f3ti. Rimlagluggatj\u00f6ldin eru opin og lj\u00f3si\u00f0 \u00fati sk\u00edn \u00ed gengum rimarnar og varpar mynd \u00feeirra \u00e1 vegginn.<\/p>\n
Hlusta \u00e1 hlj\u00f3\u00f0 h\u00fassins. \u00cdssk\u00e1purinn su\u00f0ar frammi \u00ed eldh\u00fasinu. \u00c1 efri h\u00e6\u00f0inni er einhver \u00ed sturtu. L\u00e1gv\u00e6r ni\u00f0ur fr\u00e1 t\u00f6lvunni frammi \u00ed holinu breytist \u00ed yfir\u00feyrmandi h\u00e1va\u00f0a. Fer fram \u00far og slekk \u00e1 t\u00f6lvunni. Sest \u00e1 h\u00e6kjur m\u00e9r og tek upp s\u00edmt\u00f3li\u00f0 \u00ed lei\u00f0inni \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00e9g viti a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 er ekkert a\u00f0 s\u00edmanum. Hann er sj\u00e1lfsagt hj\u00e1 Kollu. Kannski sofna\u00f0ur vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0 hennar. Tilhugsunin um \u00feau tv\u00f6 saman \u00ed r\u00fami er \u00f3\u00fe\u00e6gileg og \u00e9g \u00fdti henni fr\u00e1 m\u00e9r. Ligg og bylti m\u00e9r. Verkjar \u00ed kvi\u00f0inn svo \u00e9g get ekki sofna\u00f0. Tifi\u00f0 \u00ed klukkunni er h\u00e1v\u00e6rara en venjulega og verkurinn magnast. Reyni a\u00f0 hugsa sem minnst um \u00feann m\u00f6guleika a\u00f0 hringja \u00ed Kollu. Hugsa um g\u00f3\u00f0a daga framundan. \u00c1 morgun baka \u00e9g pipark\u00f6kuh\u00fas fyrir krakkana og fer me\u00f0 \u00feau \u00ed Kringluna til a\u00f0 hitta j\u00f3lasveina. Hinn daginn skrifum vi\u00f0 \u00e1 j\u00f3lakortin. Samt sofna \u00e9g ekki.<\/p>\n
Svo hringir s\u00edminn. \u00c9g hlunkast fram \u00far r\u00faminu, dett \u00ed f\u00e1tinu en n\u00e6 samt a\u00f0 r\u00edfa t\u00f3li\u00f0 upp \u00e1\u00f0ur en hann n\u00e6r a\u00f0 hringja tvisvar. R\u00f6dd Kollu \u00ed s\u00edmanum:<\/p>\n
„S\u00e6l Gu\u00f0n\u00fd og fyrirgef\u00f0u a\u00f0 \u00e9g skuli vekja \u00feig en \u00e9g \u00fearf svo nau\u00f0synlega a\u00f0 tala vi\u00f0 J\u00f3a.“ „\u00c9g var a\u00f0 hugsa um hvort \u00e9g \u00e6tti a\u00f0 fara og leita a\u00f0 honum“ Vi\u00f0 t\u00f6lum lengi saman, alveg \u00fear til st\u00falkan er or\u00f0in r\u00f3leg. H\u00fan er g\u00f3\u00f0 stelpa, of g\u00f3\u00f0 fyrir hann. Svo kve\u00f0jumst vi\u00f0 loksins og \u00e9g legg t\u00f3li\u00f0 \u00e1 og sit \u00ed hnipri \u00ed n\u00e1ttf\u00f6tunum \u00e1 k\u00f6ldu g\u00f3lfinu. Herbergi\u00f0 hans opi\u00f0 og \u00e9g horfi \u00e1 autt r\u00fami\u00f0 hans. \u00dea\u00f0 vir\u00f0ist kalt. \u00c9g stend upp og kveiki \u00ed s\u00edgarettu. L\u00edt inn til barnanna, \u00feau sofa b\u00e6\u00f0i, \u00feau vakna ekki. Til \u00f6ryggis tek \u00e9g samt s\u00edmann \u00far sambandi \u00feegar \u00e9g er b\u00fain a\u00f0 kl\u00e6\u00f0a mig.<\/p>\n \u00dea\u00f0 er kalt og b\u00edllinn er tregur \u00ed gang en loksins hefst \u00fea\u00f0. \u00c9g st\u00fdri honum yfir skugga g\u00f6tulj\u00f3sanna \u00fat \u00far g\u00f6tunni okkar og held \u00ed \u00e1tt a\u00f0 mi\u00f0b\u00e6num. Undarlegt hva\u00f0 m\u00e9r tekst vel a\u00f0 hundsa raddirnar \u00ed hausnum \u00e1 m\u00e9r \u00feegar \u00fe\u00e6r tala af skynsemi: <\/em>Snj\u00f3krap \u00feeytist undan dekkjunum og \u00e9g veit a\u00f0 \u00e9g \u00e6tti a\u00f0 draga \u00far hra\u00f0anum en \u00e9g geri \u00fea\u00f0 ekki. Hendist \u00e1fram, hra\u00f0ar, hra\u00f0ar, \u00ed \u00f3rafjarska s\u00e9 \u00e9g mi\u00f0b\u00e6inn.<\/p>\n ***<\/p>\n \u00dea\u00f0 var \u00fe\u00e1 sem \u00e9g t\u00f3k eftir \u00fev\u00ed. Vegurinn var farinn a\u00f0 lengjast. Hann \u00f3x me\u00f0 ofsahra\u00f0a undir dekkjunum, ruddist fram svartur og glj\u00e1andi undan rimlaskuggum og mi\u00f0b\u00e6rinn fjarl\u00e6g\u00f0ist st\u00f6\u00f0ugt. \u00c9g reyndi a\u00f0 st\u00fdra b\u00edlnum inn \u00e1 hli\u00f0arveg en hvernig sem \u00e9g sneri st\u00fdrinu h\u00e9lt b\u00edlinn s\u00f6mu stefnu \u00ed kapp vi\u00f0 \u00f6rt vaxandi malbiksflauminn.<\/p>\n Og svo kom hrafninn.<\/p>\n \u00c9g s\u00e1 hann \u00fear sem hann sveima\u00f0i \u00ed hringi yfir mi\u00f0b\u00e6num, biksvartur og gr\u00ed\u00f0arst\u00f3r. Hann t\u00f3k stefnuna \u00ed \u00e1ttina til m\u00edn, sveif \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 blaka v\u00e6ngjum \u00e1 m\u00f3ti m\u00e9r, hratt og \u00f6rugglega. Hann flaug \u00e1 m\u00f3ti m\u00e9r, stefndi beint \u00e1 framr\u00fa\u00f0una og \u00e9g fann h\u00f6ggi\u00f0 \u00feegar hvass goggurinn hj\u00f3 r\u00fa\u00f0una.<\/p>\n B\u00edllinn st\u00f6\u00f0va\u00f0ist sj\u00e1lfkarfa, sj\u00e1lfsagt bens\u00ednlaus og \u00e9g horf\u00f0i agndofa \u00e1 hrafninn sem h\u00e9kk \u00e1 r\u00fa\u00f0unni, me\u00f0 gogginn inni \u00ed b\u00edlnum, \u00e1 me\u00f0an r\u00fa\u00f0an sprakk, h\u00e6gt og r\u00f3lega.<\/p>\n \u00c9g horf\u00f0i \u00e1 sprungurnar brei\u00f0ast h\u00e6gt fr\u00e1 goggnum og \u00fat a\u00f0 j\u00f6\u00f0rum r\u00fa\u00f0unnar, brei\u00f0ast h\u00e6gt og h\u00e6gt og greinast \u00ed \u00f3t\u00f6lulegan fj\u00f6lda af sm\u00e6rri sprungum sem myndu\u00f0u \u00fe\u00e9ttri\u00f0i\u00f0 net \u00e1 framr\u00fa\u00f0unni. Nokkur \u00f6rsm\u00e1 glerbrot hrundu inn \u00ed b\u00edlinn og \u00e9g vissi a\u00f0 um lei\u00f0 og hrafninn ger\u00f0i tilraun til a\u00f0 losa sig, myndu r\u00fa\u00f0ubrotin hrynja yfir mig \u00ed \u00fe\u00fasundatali og einhver \u00feeirra hlytu a\u00f0 lenda \u00ed augum m\u00ednum.<\/p>\n \u00c9g loka\u00f0i augunum og bei\u00f0.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Hversu lengi hef \u00e9g seti\u00f0 og stara\u00f0 \u00e1 vegginn \u00ed stofunni? \u00c9g veit \u00fea\u00f0 upp \u00e1 m\u00edn\u00fatu en \u00fe\u00e6r m\u00edn\u00fatur hafa li\u00f0i\u00f0 h\u00e6gar en m\u00edn\u00fatur gera almennt. \u00dea\u00f0 er svosem ekki miki\u00f0 a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 \u00e1 \u00feessum vegg, nema \u00fe\u00e1 sprunguna … Halda \u00e1fram a\u00f0 lesa
\nHjarta mitt hniprar sig saman eins og hr\u00e6ddur \u00edkorni. Gu\u00f0 minn g\u00f3\u00f0ur, hann er \u00fe\u00e1 ekki \u00fear.
\n„Hann er ekki kominn. Hven\u00e6r f\u00f3r hann fr\u00e1 \u00fe\u00e9r?“
\nR\u00f6dd Kollu titrandi \u00ed s\u00edmanum: „Hann kom ekkert inn. \u00c9g er svo hr\u00e6dd um hann a\u00f0 \u00e9g gat ekki sofna\u00f0. Vildi bara fullvissa mig um a\u00f0 hann hef\u00f0i komi\u00f0 heim.“
\n„Drakk hann eitthva\u00f0 \u00ed kv\u00f6ld?“ spyr \u00e9g, r\u00e9tt eins og \u00fea\u00f0 skipti einhverju m\u00e1li.
\n„Ekki dropa, en m\u00e9r fannst hann svo eir\u00f0arlaus \u00e1 lei\u00f0inni hinga\u00f0 og hann vildi ekkert stoppa, eins og honum l\u00e6gi eitthva\u00f0 \u00e1. Hefur\u00f0u nokkra hugmynd um hvar hann getur veri\u00f0?“
\n„Hvergi \u00fear sem vi\u00f0 finnum hann elskan“ segi \u00e9g og reyni a\u00f0 halda r\u00f6ddinni r\u00f3legri „\u00dea\u00f0 eina sem vi\u00f0 getum gert er a\u00f0 b\u00ed\u00f0a eftir fr\u00e9ttum af \u00fev\u00ed hvar hann endar \u00ed \u00feetta sinn.“
\n„\u00c9g hef\u00f0i aldrei \u00e1tt a\u00f0 sam\u00feykkja \u00feessa j\u00f3lagl\u00f6gg“ segir Kolla kj\u00f6krandi.
\nOg \u00e9g hef\u00f0i \u00e1tt a\u00f0 halda honum heima<\/em>, hugsa \u00e9g en \u00ed sta\u00f0 \u00feess segi \u00e9g:
\n„Hvorug okkar hef\u00f0i geta\u00f0 stoppa\u00f0 hann. \u00dea\u00f0 eina sem \u00fe\u00fa getur gert er a\u00f0 verja sj\u00e1lfa \u00feig, taka \u00feetta ekki of miki\u00f0 inn \u00e1 \u00feig. \u00c9g er b\u00fain a\u00f0 b\u00faa vi\u00f0 \u00feetta helv\u00edti s\u00ed\u00f0an hann var 13 \u00e1ra. \u00deitt l\u00edf heldur \u00e1fram, engin \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0a til a\u00f0 ey\u00f0ileggja \u00fea\u00f0 l\u00edka.“<\/p>\n
\n„L\u00e1ttu \u00fea\u00f0 n\u00fa vera. \u00de\u00fa hefur ekki hugmynd um hvar \u00fe\u00fa \u00e1tt a\u00f0 leita og jafnvel \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00fe\u00fa finnir hann getur\u00f0u ekkert gert. \u00cd alv\u00f6ru Kolla m\u00edn, \u00fe\u00fa getur ekki gert neitt, nema \u00fe\u00e1 fyrir sj\u00e1lfa \u00feig. \u00dea\u00f0 besta sem \u00fe\u00fa gerir n\u00fana er a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 sofna og l\u00e1ta hann svo r\u00f3a.“<\/p>\n
\nHvern fjandann \u00feykistu vera a\u00f0 fara?
\nV\u00e6ri ekki n\u00e6r a\u00f0 vera heima hj\u00e1 b\u00f6rnunum?
\nTil hvers ertu a\u00f0 \u00feessu?<\/p>\n